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Monday, April 30, 2007

Ugly GloZell

GloZell knows how to party…

Last Friday in the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno "line I saw a huge bus that said African Children’s Choir pass by. They were the choir that was used on the American Idol give’s back show. They must be performing on the Ellen show.

I think that it’s great that Live Aide and American Idol and so many people have telethons and give money to poor Africans who don’t, have money, and are hungry, homeless, and without medical care.

Wait a minute… I’m African, with no money, I’m always hungry, I don’t have a house, or medical. WHERE IS MY TELETHON!

For just 80 cents a day, you can feed a hungry African in Burbank.

Isn’t that cheaper! They get treated better than I do, because my family was stolen away from Africa. I can change my name from GloZell Green (my slave name) to GloZell Click Click Boom Boom.

I wanted to jump in front of the bus and tell the Mufahsa’s, don’t get talked into staying! You get nothing!

I don’t have to have a telethon. Just give me the money it takes to air one on television, or the money used for flying the stars in, with their entourage. I’ll take the money for the hotel rooms, all tech people, catering, etc. Just give me the swag bag given to all of the stars. I can save you money people! You don’t have to go that far! Take care of the ones YOU brought over here already. And no I don’t want to go back.

It must be guilt or something. Madonna and Angelina Jolie have issues. You want a black child, I have several cousins who fit the same build in Florida!

Angelina has to adopt from across the world, because if the child spoke English and had a television they wouldn’t go. Does Mattocks ever look happy to you? It was two years before she let that child walk. She carried him every where. Check the magazines. I thought he was handicap.

Angelina Jolie use to walk around with a vile of Billy Bob Thorton’s blood around her neck. Who is giving this chick their children? Dracula?

She shouldn’t be given children because she dated Billy Bob Thorton! She is out of her mind!

I have never seen her kiss Brad Pit as passionately as she kissed her own BROTHER! And that was in public.I won't even mention the fact that Brad was married when she slither over to him. I know how to control my big lips.

I’m going to start my own telethon against her! How is she the Ambassador of Peace when she doesn’t even talk to her own father? Get your own family together Angelina, before you hijack children for your personal Rainbow Connection.

(Sorry for the all misspellings but you know what I’m trying to say)

I have a party to go to right after the show today(4-30-07) so I’m not sure if I will get a chance to post tonight.

Remember clean around your own front door first…

LoVe Ya,


Sunday, April 29, 2007

GloZell’s Husband? Part 2...

So, Im sitting on the bed waiting for him to tell me what I have already figured out. That he was a she. Doc comes out of the bathroom and sits on the head of the bed and starts crying. I didn’t have any sympathy at all. I just stared cold faced.

Doc starts saying how when he was born, he was premature. (Yes, you told me that) Well not everything was right. (Okay, go on) Then he tells me he was born without a hole. (Without a what?) Doc said that he was born without a hole in his penis. (He did say penis, Yes! So that’s good, I guess?) I thought I have got to be on somebody’s show at this moment. I literally started to look around for someone to jump out and say I was on Candid Camera.

Doc was born with out a hole in his penis. Doc had surgery the day he was born so that he could go to the bathroom. Doc had the passageway but he didn’t have the opening. The Doctors drilled a hole, but not all the way to the tip, it was underneath. So if you looked at it strait on you didn’t’ see a hole. (I hope you understand what I’m trying to say)

He was built more like a flute than a recorder. (I don’t know how to draw a diagram on the computer) And because the body wants to always heal itself, and babies grow so fast, it would start to close up. Doc had to have the scar tissue scraped away every couple of days at first. Then months, then years.

At this point, he is bawling. I was in complete shock. He also told me about the "Thing"
Oh no there’s more! What is the thing? I asked. The thing was what his family called it when Doc would be talking and just stop, then continue on, stop then continue again. I thought Doc would just tune out because I was talking so much, just thinking of something else. Doc would play it off so well. No one in his family said a word they were use to it. Not even is mother who thought I wasn’t good enough for her son, the Doc. If only she knew. The "thing" stopped the Thing if you catch my drift.

I looked up his symptoms and what I found out that the blood would stop flowing to his heart then start back again in seconds. Somehow Doc was and still is a great DVM surgeon. My guess is that it like Turets Syndrome(sorry it’s spelled wrong), which is usually, caused by some kind of, stress or shock. I don’t think there is nothing more shocking than what he went through. And he never told me before we got married.

When you first get married everyone always ask" When are you going to have a baby? Once, my Auntie asked me that. I said, Yes we are going to have a baby and his name will be Jesus, we will wrap him in swaddling clothes and lay him in a manger. It worked for Mary and that’s the only way its’ going to work for us. She didn’t get it.

The hard part (no pun intended) was what else could he be hiding. How was I going to trust anything he said? Who was I going to tell? Everyone was so happy. I wanted my parents to be happy and they paid a lot of money for the wedding.

It was a lot of tension in the house. He would say pass me the salt and I would think get your own salt your penis doesn’t work!

My father died 6 months to the hour of the wedding. I was grateful that my dad walked me down the aisle and that he died thinking that Doc was the new head of the family (No pun intended) And that everything was going to be fine. I’m still grateful to Doc for that. We decided to move to California and that’s when it hit the fan.

To be continued…

LoVe Ya,


Friday, April 27, 2007

GloZell is not a Stalker…

In the news, this morning I heard that Sandra Bullock has a crazy woman stalker who tried to run over Jesse James with her car. They both were just on the show not too long ago. That crazy lady could have been in the studio. She has to be crazy to try to run over Jesse James who makes monster trucks that can run her over.

I feel security is much better this week than ever before. But I just want to break it down just incase you don’t understand.

To all the high and mighty White and Jewish people. If you look down on Mexican people so much, why do you hire them to be security? That is stupid!

If you think Black and Mexican, people are so dumb, how stupid are you to use them to protect your life?

Is there an evacuation route in the studio if something happens? This is not for the dark people, It’s for you, White and Jewish people. Because ALL dark people know how to EVACUATE!

We are born with it. There never is an evacuation drill at King Drew Hospital. At Mt. Sinai, you better practice one. When something happens there, not one black or Latino person is in the building, not even a Black or Latino baby. Trust and believe.

I am looking out for you Jay!

If you get on a plane, White and Jewish people and there is not a Black or a Latino person…GET OFF! You are not safe. If you get on and the whole plane is filled with, Muslims chanting go Allah! And there is one Black or Latino person; you can sleep the whole trip. That plane is not going down. I don’t care how old or handicap that person is.

How retarded is it to know how to exit a plane? Who is going to take their chances by jumping out of a plane 25 thousand feet up in the air with a seat cushion? But they go over it every time you enter a plane. Not once have I ever seen anyone go over an evacuation route at the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Is there one? Whites and Jews I hope your are reading this because we the Darks wont be there.

You don’t believe me? When you take a black person out, (we will say yes because you are paying) they will always face the door. If not, trust and believe while you are looking at the architecture or the menu, we have already spotted all of the Exit signs.

Guess What? We really don’t like you in general. We will laugh at your corny jokes and put up with you at work but that’s about it. If you stop paying, we won’t hang. Don’t ask if that’s true because we will deny it every time. As soon as we get home it’s " Do you know what that cracker had the nerve to say? Every one is prejudice when they get home!

If something happened in the studio, you will see how close of friends we are. I can picture Jerry the keyboard player saying "Hey, Kevin did you hear…where did he go? Hey, Vicky I think I smell smoke…where did she go? What's up Doc? My man Smitty, I think something’s wrong, I…Hey! We will knock you over to get out because you are just standing there trying to figure out what’s going on. Run first, ask later.

Dark people don’t need a plan because we will bust through a wall like the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull. (White people are laughing but the dark people are nodding and saying "That’s true sister")

Why is the head of security also in charge of telling the ladies with the big boobs how to line up to dance on the stage before the show? How stupid is that? Can somebody please think?

You need to be nice to the security guards and maybe one might look out for you. I bet that old Asian security guard, Jet Li Sr. or whatever his name is can take a broom and beat the daylight out of someone.

I was there when that girl jumped on the stage last year. It took a long time for anyone to respond? (Check the tape) That actor had to grab her, take her off stage, and scream cut the cameras, before anyone helped him. That is Unacceptable! Look at the tape! I was out of my seat before she got to the stage.

Jay played it cool but I bet Jeff couldn’t clean Jay’s suit that day. Jay do you have pepper spray or anything at that desk? Don’t live in fear, just be prepared.

To the one Persian/Armenian looking guy who works at the studio. Your name sounds like something a cat threw up, Iaaackkk. We all know that you and that girl that dresses nice all the time with the pointed black boots are involved. ( Those boots are great for getting roaches in a corner) Girl, you can do so much better than him! He’s a player and he is not all that.

Ms. Debbie. (Producer/cue card writer) Who were you being cute for today? Your toes were out (red pedicure, nice), Cute black leather jacket, tight white T-shirt (I never knew you had hooters). You have a hot little body under all those clothes. Rock it honey!

Ross The Intern, who is love. Ross has lost weight with the "Show Celebrity Fit Club"on VH1. He looked good before. Now Ross is healthier.

Conan O’Brien told a story about how he was over Jay’s house and Jay went to sleep. That is exactly what I’m going to do IF he takes over the Tonight Show! Go to Sleep.

Venus Ramey who was Miss America 1944. Some old lady. I’m surprised she didn’t bake a pie.

Kings of Leon was the musical guest. They had so many fans. K. of L. all are so skinny and had on tight black pants. They were good! The lead singer is hot!

Remember, nobody cares about you more than you…

LoVe Ya,


Thursday, April 26, 2007

Glo Otter Go…

Out side at 10:00 AM a white woman about 25 years old was talking to herself and was filthy. She had to be on drugs. I felt sorry for her until I remembered what my mother always told me. A dirty white person can take a bath, comb their hair and get a job quicker than a qualified black person. I wonder if that is true.

Dear Dirty White People

Is that true?
Is my mother right?
Can you get a job just by taking a bath?
Please take a bath, get a job and let me know.
Thank you
Jobless and clean GloZell

In line I met Holly, who drove me nuts talking about Kiefer Sutherland and his show "24" all day long. Holly lost her mom to a brain tumor, moved in with her dad to help him out.( Holly has two jobs) Somehow she has the best outlook on life. I was so happy when she got an autograph from Kiefer and a picture with Jay. Thanks Kiefer and Jay! Holly I hope to see you again! (Pictures coming soon)

In the studio

Greg (I have know idea what you do) I didn’t say anything about your Walrus like mustache. I didn’t say anything when you use to change into a suit before the show. (Like the camera was ever going to be on you) But please tell me that there’s a racetrack that I don’t’ know about, hidden in the NBC parking lot. Are you changing tires for Jay’s car in 10 seconds or something? That is the only explanation for that Red Budweiser Race Car Outfit you were wearing today.

Kevin Eubanks, Charlie Brown called and wants his shirt back.

In the lobby, the TV screen was showing what was going to be on the show. When Jay was doing his Sold or Not Sold, I had already seen it.

I was sitting next to John Melendez (who can read) I would guess everything before Jay said Sold or Not Sold. John was like" GloZell you are good at this. (Ha, Ha) Then I started guessing what items it was going to be, before the item was shone. John was so amazed. I think John took a bath to get this job.


Jarod Miller and his animals. The best part was when these otters tried to make a run for it. One escaped and ran into the audience. I was cheering for the otter who was tired of the white man.

Kiefer Sutherland told this strange story about how an Orangutan raped him. Things must have gotten pretty bad after Julia Roberts left your behind at the altar.

Musical guest was Macy Gray and Natalie Cole. Where did they meet? The Crack House. This whole performance was strange. Why did two black women have two black women background singers who wasn’t really far enough in the background? One girl was so big. Big Girl would have been ok, but the other one was so tiny. Both of the non-background singers were in orange and looked like, Frick and Frack Pumpkin Twins.

Macy was high and Natalie had on a color too close to the other pumpkins. Natalie didn’t really sing she just made noise and at one point scatted. (Okay)

When I saw Natalie Cole, I was amazed. I didn’t know she could sing with people who are alive. Well, I guess there is nothing more dead than Macy Gray’s career. Both of them need a come back and couldn’t get anyone else. They need to go back.

Dear Natalie Cole,

If I started to sing, and my dead father started harmonizing with me, I would freak! Not do a whole album of HIS hits and sing with his hologram, 20 years after his death. What do you smoke?

Remember; just say no to drugs…

LoVe Ya,


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

GloZell gets cursed out?...

I am so glad I got in today. After yesterday, I thought I was going to be kicked out.

The security was so much better today. Every one was alert. The Asian guard asked a guy if he had a weapon after the guy kept beeping. That’s what you have to do. Great job Bobby Lee or what ever your name is.

Jack (# 1 cameraman) will you please wear those jeans you wore today everyday? I think that is was beautiful how the denim caressed under your gluteal folds. You must keep the jeans alive now that Mike the Stage Manager has stopped.

I guess Mike has stopped wearing his tight jeans because he is a new dad. Congratulations Mike the Stage Manager! Did your beautiful new baby inherit your gorgeous hair from the 80’s?

"Billy the Cig" I didn’t know you knew sign language. Billy is that the same finger you use to scratch your crack with before every the show? Keep digging Billy until you reach gold!

Bob Perlo "The warm up comedian". You are doing well. I love that you used the band in the pre show. When Mr. Vicky got involved, it was hilarious. Love her!

John Melendez walks over to me during the first break and said " GloZell, I’ve read your blog" That’s all I heard. I don’t know if John cursed me out or praised me because I was so shocked that he can read!

That’s great John, maybe Jay can give you a job.


Leah Remin (King of Queens) has killer legs. She hasn’t lost all of her baby weight but she worked that dress. Leah is the type of person you want to be your friend or she will beat you up. Love her!

Adam Brody. Before the show, everyone got wife beaters that advertised his new movie. They only want skinny people to advertise because the tanks were so small. I will stretch and wear it, Ha!

Mavis Staples. Prince wrote a gospel song for her, the chorus was " God is coming back quicker than a dog in heat" No one bought it. What were they thinking? Mavis talked about it once on the Arsenio Hall Show.(This black guy with a triangular head, who had a talk show until Jay Leno blew him away)

Remember, learn sign language for I love you…

LoVe ya,


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

GloZell talks to a Moron!...

Monday 4-16-07 I heard a guy say, "My knife got into the studio. The security guard saw it and told me I can’t take a knife into the studio. I told him it wasn’t a knife and the security guard said Okay". They were just laughing away. I didn’t see the knife but I believed him.

Thursday 4-19-07 a guest took a gun into the studio. (I saw it) There was a new security guard that didn’t even turn on his flashlight to look inside the bags or purses. If he had, he would have seen it. I didn’t say anything because I was thinking that if I tell anyone this person would know it was me and be waiting for me after the show.

I couldn’t sleep all weekend. I wrote a letter and gave it to Officer "S" the Monday cop at the show 4-23-07. I gave another copy to Andy the on stage guard AKA "The Hair". I wrote the letter because I didn’t want anyone to think I would put this on a blog.

Today Mr. "N" spoke to me about what happened. (I guess he is the head of security?) He didn’t say who he was but I was happy to tell him what happened. Mr. "N" said that if he saw a gun he would call the police right away. He also went on to say that he saw a gang member with a gun one time (not at the show) and he called 911. He said anyone with common sense would have told when it happened.

Mr. "N" you are an idiot. Even if you didn’t believe me, you could have said thank you for your information. The way you flip things around is the reason people don’t tell what they see. I don’t care about your stupid gang story. The only gang I was in was Troop 253 AKA the "Girl Scouts". Which seems to have been better training than you have had.

No bags or purses go through the metal detectors. This is unacceptable! You should be fired! The only reason this is on my blog is because; Jay and the staff need to know that they are unprotected and that you don’t care. I don’t talk to everyone, and I don’t hear everything but I bet I know more than you do. Now who do I go to?

I told you that I gave officer "S" the note yesterday. You asked me who is Officer "S". The cop who comes to the show every Monday! You didn’t know that?

Mr. "N" you asked me what is my job. I do the same as you… Nothing! But you are responsible for the safety of a lot of people and I am not. Go watch N.Y.P.D. Blue and take notes. Are you the chief of police? I hope not. If so, I bet, the inmates run the prison.

Later on today the security guards tried something new. They wand us down before we walked into the studio.(Great) My jacket beeps so the guy asks me to take off my jacket, he wands me down again. The Jacket beeped and it wasn’t looked at? Then they were pressed for time. Security need to come out earlier now. I guess its about money and you don’t want to pay them for the extra time it takes to make sure everyone is safe. Do you know how bad it’s got to be if I’m the smartest one?

I like all of the outside guards but it’s about safety and they do what the boss tells them.

Today’s cop officer "A" stood outside with coffee in one hand and talking on the cell phone in the other with his back turned away from the line for about 10 minutes. Then when he went inside sat down. Unacceptable! Officer "A"needs to be fired also!

As the poet, Alec Baldwin said, "You are a stupid little pig!"

I'm glad I got that out of the way! Now on to the best part of the day!

I met Amy and John who got a picture with Jay ! They are from Massachusetts celebrating their 15th Wedding Anniversary !

I met and fell in love with Derek a, gambler from Monroe Michigan. I hope his wife doesn't mind. He is in town because his sister is getting married. Derek loves Bill Maher!


Bill Maher who I love! He talked about freedom of speech. Bill is fair and speaks his mind. I respect him.

Sig and Edgar Hansen from the show" The Deadliest Catch". They got a little raunchy.

Amy Winehouse was the musical guest. Her voice is strong and people love her. I was blown away by how tiny she is. I’ve seen her videos. I bet she wasn’t even a size 2. Amy is a little scary looking but I think that’s her appeal.

Remember, do the right thing…

LoVe Ya,


Monday, April 23, 2007

Go Green!...

Happy Earth Day!

In line today was a real Native American. Chief Marvin L Swallow and His wife Hiroko M. Swallow.
(Talk about Earth Day) They were so nice they hugged me and everything. It was like touching history. The Swallow's got a picture with Jay Leno and gave him sage and a rope to ward off negative energy. I think I have Native American in me also, my great great great grandparents were Black Foot. (All black people think they are part Native American. Go ahead ask the one you know from work, tell them I said it's okay)

My lunch came from the lovely Joanna Cunningham and her beautiful mother Toni Baughn. They told me I better say something nice about the people from Texas. Don’t Mess with Texas! I enjoyed meeting them.

I met this wonderful couple who loves Zola( the Production Manager for the show )I think they are four score and seven years old. I love them!

If the Tonight Show with Jay Leno wants to save energy. They can start by cutting off Smitty’s microphone!

Dear Tonight Show Executives

Do you ever come to the show? I know it’s hard to break away from the golf course. I would love for you to show up at 8:00 AM and see how disheveled the gift shop merchandise is as soon as the doors open.

Also, the vending machine was actually full today but out of order. The bathrooms need an air freshener because someone sharted and when I walked in, it smelt like Garlic Gorilla.

I would love it if you could tear yourself away from your fancy drinks, restricted clubs, happy endings, etc. and show up unannounced to the show. Sit in line, watch the show and reward the people who work hard and put fire under the ones who don’t. (Mostly the ones you have hooked up because they are related to you)

The people who do their job should get rewarded just as much as the ones who pretend to. Good workers don’t want to do their best because no one cares. (At this point, it’s you)

Take care and God Bless!

In the Ice cold studio, I sat next to my friend John Melendez. It’s a little scary sitting next to him. I’m always afraid John is going to have one of his tic fits while he is holding his cup and splash diet soda on my weave. Glo Zell to the No!

Bob Perlo the "Warm up comedian". I like the page on the stage thing. I see you are being creative. Please contiune to make up for the first six months of my "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" life.( Bob remember those days, back when you had yellow frosted hair)


Zach Braff from the NBC hit show "Scrubs". He is so nerdy! I love him! Zach gave his autograph to Jillian who stood in line with her girls, since 6:00 AM for tickets just to see him. Thanks Zach and the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno"!

Pat Summit. The number one woman’s basketball coach. I didn’t see her due to the fact her outfit was the same color as her skin. Go Tennessee!

Joss Stone was the musical guest. I didn’t know that child was white!( Shut the front door) Joss has a great sound and she wasn’t wearing shoes. (White people love to walk around without shoes, I don’t understand?)

Remember, plant a tree…

LoVe Ya,


Saturday, April 21, 2007

GloZell’s Husband?…

I met a guy lets call him Doc.(DVM) The family loved him but I wanted to move to California. Doc said he always wanted to pursue acting so the ideal of California was great. I knew him for only two weeks when he asked me to marry him.

I didn’t think getting married was the right thing to do so I told my mother and him. Doc said it’s okay, we will be fine. My mothers said don’t say that, you don’t want to hurt his feelings. His feelings! The wedding was 8 months away from the time we met. It was his ideal to wait on the hanky panky stuff. I thought he is truly a Christian man. That’s great!

Every one else seemed to think I was so lucky to be marrying a Doc. I had a huge diamond set in Platinum. He had a nice house. That’s was all people cared about.

Doc told me that his friends and family would never think I was good enough for him and that they wouldn’t like me. (Great) But I thought that would change in time. (Wrong)

My mother got caught up with wedding plans, and my father was proud, and I felt trapped. Ritha the wedding planer almost left. It was too much for her. I’m sure she will come out with a book about what she went through with this wedding.

Doc and I got married. It was a gigantic wedding. There were about 20 people in the wedding party. All of Orlando was there. My father was a Doc., and everyone knew and loved him. My mother taught school and my sister and I have performed in just about every church there is in Orlando, the near by cities and out of the country.
My sister and I performed for weddings and funerals; it was second nature to us. Every body knew us and to this day my family is in the Back Orlando Museum! All of us had Afros in the picture, it’s embarrassing.

My mother made my dress, which was too tight. I looked like a white sausage. I wanted to wear braids but that’s not how my mother wanted my hair. So, I had it straighten. I didn’t like that ether. I will tell you more about the wedding at a later time I don’t have the strength to go into it now.

We were going to the Islands for our Honeymoon and when that Island heat hit my hair, I will look like buckwheat’s sister. Oh-tay

I couldn’t ask for any thing better than my father walking me down the isle and him being pleased with the Doc. That was the best thing about the wedding. I will tell you more at a later time. I might have to take up drinking to write about the wedding.

After being married five months, I finally asked the Doc what is the problem? It had been five months and still no hanky panky? He lowered his eyes said we will talk about it when he gets out of the bathroom. So Doc went into the bathroom.

I sat on the bed, my mind-starting going. What is it that he has to tell me after five months? I was thinking how he never left the toilet seat up, NEVER! And how he always shut and locked the door when he was in the bathroom. And that I have never seen It. You know IT. I had Never seen IT!

So, I sat on the bed thinking about what he could possibly tell me. I remembered that it struck me odd that he said he took ballet lessons when he was a kid. (A black man taking ballet lessens?) Doc loved Will Smith. Doc wasn’t from Philadelphia. Doc wanted to dress like him and he had Will Smith’s greatest hit. Who has that?

Doc would play "Will Smith’s greatest hits" in his truck everyday and he knew all of the words. He would look for clothes that Will wore in a movie and buy it. In the movie, Bad Boy’s two. Will did this scene, where he danced and broke a counter. Doc watched it over and over every night after he came home from work for months and learned it. He would perform the dance all the time with a broom. He made me watch it also! To This day, I can’t stand Will Smith.

As I sat on the bed, and thought, more and more, I realized…

I had married a woman.

To be continued

LoVe Ya,


Friday, April 20, 2007

GloZell loves her some Bacon...

In line today I met Riley, who has been in therapy since 5 years old. She has a eating disorder and suffers from OCD. Riley told me her stories from fat camp. Yes she actually said " one time in fat camp".
The name of the fat school is Academy of the Sierras. Her favorite teacher was named Mr. Rourke who use to sneak her food. (he has been fired) Riley loves Hayden P., the cheerleader from the show "Heroes".

I was Anorexic for three... no four hours. I got hungry. I can't commit to anything! I wish the best for Riley and I hope to see her again. We had a great time, and ate hot dogs.

Also in line was Susan Dale who made the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" semi finalists" on a "Pitch to America" segment.

Dear Ervin,

Nobody likes you! All you do is show up and eat food out of the Green Room!
You set black people back four hundred years all by yourself. If I give you forty acres and a mule will you go away. I don't care if you are reading this because your memory is so short you won't remember that I said this.

Please take your medicine and leave me alone. You told me you work for the Tonight Show and I don't, and that you don't care if I write about you on my blog! Ha ! You don't work for the show. You use to open the curtains for Johnny Carson when he was the host. Guess what? That was 18 years ago! Jay doesn't have curtains, so take your old behind, get on your bike and ride away!

P.S. You are too old for the hip hop clothes you wear. Ervin you are pushing 70 across the street.


Kevin Bacon. He makes me want to have a bacon breakfast in bed everyday. Six degrees of no separation.

Hayden P. who was so beautiful in person. Hayden has a great personality. I loved her clingy gray dress. I couldn't wear that dress because it would get cut on my cellulite thighs. Hayden you go girl!

Michael Phelps who is a world champion swimmer. He was humble, tall good looking and has big feet. I caught him checking out Hayden p.

The musical guest was Ok Go. Ok Go... away. once was more than enough!

Before the show was over, Ervin asked if I was ok. Hello? I guess I'm a part on the Tonight Show functioning dysfunctional family. I love you Erivin! (Great, I'm just as nuts as you are) But I'm not afraid to tell you off. We cool.

Before I got to my car I met Robin Maxwell who raised the most money using Kevin Bacon’s Six degrees of separation charity program.

Remember, give up things that bind you...

LoVe Ya,


Thursday, April 19, 2007


Hey do you know this hot Tonight Show Tech? Do you want to?
Please leave a message for Richard the Tech if you want to met him.

Every day I see this guy who looks like a lumber jack. I told him that I call him lumber jack. His name is Richard.

The next day he gave me his picture.
I am afraid.

The flowers in front of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno are cared for by Miguel and Guillermo. When NBC has In and Out burger delivered Miguel and Guillermo aren't allowed to have any.

Dear Billy the Cig.

You do not make enough money, or have the position, or the talent, or the power to maintain the attitude you have at the Tonight Show. You are a peon and should be happy that they let you run around looking lost every day. Don't you ever roll your eyes at me again you little Ross the Intern wanna be. You need to go to GNC and purchase some Smooth Move Tea and stay close to home.

Vicky (The Tonight Show Singer who never gets acknowledged. The band would stink with out her) had on a skirt! It looked good. You go Victor Victoria!


Ross the Intern. I love him! I can't wait for him to have his own show!

Jack Black is funny! I think he was high. He always looks like he is ready to take a mug shot. If he washed his hair I wouldn't recognize him. I love his new show "Acceptable TV" and his music band Tenatious D.

Sanjaya who is very cute and becoming more gay, day by gay. He is off American Idol and wants to work in showbizness. Well, when he is completely gay, and if he's Jewish he could write for the Tonight Show.

The musical guest was Ok Go. They are a fun band. The back ground looked like red devil fingers blowing behind them. It helped take away the fact that nobody knew the song.

Remember, make use of your mind...

LoVe Ya,


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

GloZell can u spare a dime ?

I wasn’t feeling the best about myself because I was talking to a homeless person today in the 8:00 AM ticket line, who was dressed better than I was. He thought I was homeless. I wanted to scream, "I’m not homeless, I’m just fat and freezing"! I refuse to buy new clothes when I have so many, in different sizes. I just can’t fit them. I do need some kind of uniform for myself.

The people in line today were so much fun! We all laughed and took pictures it was great. Two people gave me their head shots and one guy named Tommy bit a dime bent it and gave it to me. He has been trying to get on the show to impress Ed Asner. Tommy is a real strong man who can bend steel of any kind.

The Tonight Show band played three new songs today! Hallelujah!

Jay talked about who Richard Gere who is in trouble with the Indian people because he kissed an Indian girl on the cheek in India, which is forbidden.

First of all, I’m glad Richard Gere is kissing a girl and not a gerbil. Second of all if Indian people want to protest, forget Richard Gere they should band together to stop Sanjaya. Indian people should grab Al Sharpton also, because Al thought he had the best hair after they finally buried James Brown, then poof! Here comes Sanjaya.Al is ticked off. I think Sanjaya is Blacian. Band together Indians and Blacks.


Tobey Maguire. I have seen him three times on the show, talking about the same movie. Spider-Man 1-2-3. I have Arach-ni-boria the fear of boring spiders.

Tori Spelling. Money can’t buy you love, a pretty face, or a career. Her new show is so bad, they didn’t show a clip. I would have loved to see Jay pretend to have liked it

Dear Tracy,

the beautiful producer who is pregnant (and looks like she is going to have a girl, congrats!) for the love of all that’s Holy, please do not even think about wearing a dress as ugly and unflattering as the one Tori wore today. Tori’s dress hurt my feelings. Even Tobey didn’t stay to met Tori. I thought Tobey and Tori would have a lot in common since he did the movie, Sea Biscuit.

Just looking out for you girlfriends.

The cast of Wicked performed. They were the best! I loved them! I wish I could see the whole musical. They were lively and energetic. I can’t say enough!

Wow! Sunjaya just got kicked of American Idol. Indians and Blacks work fast! He will be missed.

Remember, dare to experiment with your own life…

LoVe Ya,


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Glo-mazing Grace…

Do you have a picture of Jay Leno, or anyone who works on the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno"? Let me know, so I can put it on my blog.

In line, I met a terrific guy named Dan, from Minneapolis. He works on planes, has a hot wife, and two beautiful kids. Dan wants to buy a luxury car this year. I am very happy he got a picture with Jay.

Roberta gave Bob, the warm up guy plenty of time to get people off the stage before the show started. Roberta if you wear tight jeans we won’t even miss Mike. Sorry Roberta if I gave you too much flack yesterday. (Get it, Roberta Flack…I am so funny )

Debbie, a producer/cue card writer. If you want to know who keeps taking your red tic-tacs that you keep under your writing desk, I have a list, just let me know girlfriend.

In the ice-cold studio. I sat next to John Melendez. He always asks how my blog is going. I tell him fine. The first time I was flattered, because I didn’t know he even knew about my blog. Then John says, on his own, "I’ve got to read it". "I promise I’m going to read it tonight". This is like ground hogs day because it happens every time I sit next to him.

John Melendez is a l...l…l…liar. He should be happy someone is writing about his over paid behind. I googled his name and MY blog came up. I’m the only one in the world writing about him. Ed Hall gets more hits as the announcer for the show, than John does.

The Tonight Show band has learned some new songs this month. How was it getting together for a rehearsal after all these years?


Tim Russert. The last time Tim was on the show was when Pamela Anderson was on. Tim asked Jay, "Where’s the starlet?" As ugly and fat as Tim Russert is, he better be happy the stars stayed on the city backdrop behind Jay. Okay.

Eddie Izzard was funny. I am thankful for that, because he didn’t talk about anything important. He explained how British people say things vs Americans. He has such small little feet.

Three Days Grace. The band had a great sound and they were good. But, they started off by saying that our hearts and prayers go out to the VT victims and their families, then they sing a song about "I rather feel pain than anything at all, I like pain and I like it rough". I thought that was a stupid song to sing after bringing up the VT Massacre.

Remember, a man’s word is his bond…

LoVe Ya,


Monday, April 16, 2007

Sadly GloZell...

One moment please…

In memory of the Virginia Tech students who died today, their families and the family of the shooter. I pray for them to be able to forgive and continue on, in time.

Thank You.

In the studio, Mike the stage manager wasn’t at work today, so Roberta did his job. Mike tells Bob the warm up comedian, he had one minute, to show time. That gives Bob, the warm up guy, time to get the audience members that he has brought on stage, off the stage before the show starts.

Roberta told Bob were at 10. I was thinking wow, she gives a lot of time. Then Roberta starts counting down 10-9-8-7-. Oh my Goodness! 10 seconds until show time. Half of the people hadn’t danced for their prizes yet; Bob was throwing prizes at them telling them, Get off the stage! Get off the stage! I love ya Roberta, but Mike you are not in jeopardy of loosing your job. Okay.

I think Bob the warm up guy wants me. Since I have a man I will give Bob a little taste of what he can't have.

Bob, Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't Cha?


Luke Wilson who was an ok guest. He talked about how he had on a stupid suit the last time he was on the show. He didn’t look in the mirror today. His jacket was short in the arms, which made his hands look like he was part Gorilla. Luke slouched on the couch and had a little belly, but he still has a beautiful face. A family from Make-a-wish waved Luke over after the show. Luke came over and shook their hands, and others people, including mine. I forgave his gorilla like hands suit.

Alexandra Wentworth, who I loved on the show SNL was great. She was so funny. Even Tony, the head of security, laughed. He never smiles. I didn’t know Tony had teeth until today.

Alexandra - girlfriend, you should wear control top pantyhose, do something else with your hair, and get those bags under her eyes fixed.

The musical guest was Lily Allen, from the U.K. Lily was different from the one hit rock bands I see almost everyday. She had quite a few fans in the audience.

Remember, to find compassionate alternatives…

LoVe Ya,


Saturday, April 14, 2007

Why GloZell is dating a white man… Part 4

I graduated from the University of Florida (Go Gators) July, 1997. During my time, there I was a member of Campus Crusade for Christ.

At one of the regional meeting, I saw and met the most beautiful black guy in the world. His name was Youself from Washington. He was built like a football player and had beautiful teeth and soft hair.

After my graduation, my roommate Stacy and I decided to drive from Florida to Washington for a week, as a congratulation for me. Stacy and I had saved up our money and after graduation, we rented a car and drove. Stacy drove and we made like a 17 hour trip in 13 hours.

We arrive at Howard University and found his dorms. Youself, and one of his good-looking male friends show up with him. Instantly Stacy and Youself’s friend, Miles liked each other. They were both on the trashy side.

I told Youself before driving all that way that I wanted to see Washington and have fun.

The first night Stacy and I got a hotel room and called it a night. We were to meet Youself the next day for our Washington adventures. I woke up and called Youself. Miles picked up Stacy and I rode with Youself.

Youself was driving for over an hour through the most beautiful neighborhoods and then he stopped. I said, Where are we? At my parents house, he said. He took me over to his parent’s house? The house was nice. I thought it was odd that they still had up their Christmas Tree up in July. His mother told me that the tree has been up for years. They love the feeling of Christmas, so they left a very old pine tree that looked like it belonged on " Charlie Brown’s Christmas". No problem.

Stacy was with Miles, and never came to Youself’s house. I was at this house with Youself’s parents talking to me about insurance for about four hours. I wanted to kill him, but I just smiled. I was starving; I saw a peach and asked if I could have it. I bit into it and it was rotten, so I threw it away.

Youself preached to me about starving children who would love that peach. He went on and on and on. Finally I took the peach out of the trash washed it off and ate it. Youself was very happy and prayed for about 30 minutes, thanking God for food not wasted.

The third day, Youself picked me up and took me to a gym. (What!) He weighs me and then told me how much weight I needed to lose. I could have killed him, but again I just thanked him. Then Youself worked out for hours and trained other people while I sat there, scared to say that I was hungry.

On the fourth day, Youself said we were going to meet his friends. I got all dressed up because I wanted his guy friends to say" Wow Youself that GloZell is hot, you are lucky man." We ended up at some raggedy park. My heels got stuck in the dirt, an I had to beat flies off of me, the whole time. All of his friends are the most gorgeous women in the world that he trains and who obviously liked him and wanted me to take a flying leap. This was the worst trip ever.

I told Yousef I want to see an art museum or something. I know that Washington has a lot of history. The next day he takes me to the Zoo, where I get attacked by the worlds largest Bees. He kept saying just stand still, I couldn’t so I ran off and they ran after me. I felt so stupid, I was screaming and running, and it was hot and the whole Zoo smelled.

The next day, I begged Stacy to come with us; she had been having a great trip with Miles. I told her Youself couldn’t mess this up. He is taking us to a museum.

Youself was driving and we finally arrived and the museum. I read the sign…The… Museum… of… Tolerance. I thought I maybe its about angry musicians, who can’t tolerate the government so they made music about how they cant tolerate it. And this is the museum dedicated to those creative musicians and what they were going through.

Then I thought, it could be about artist who can’t tolerate the destruction of trees or something, so they painted their anger. The word tolerance was throwing me off, I couldn’t figure out what kind of museum this was.

It didn’t matter because museums are beautiful and romantic. I was happy because this was our first date.

I notice we are the only black people walking up to the door. This must be a very high-class museum, I whispered to Stacy. We walked in and were given card with a child on it. I was thinking, they really go over the whole history of each artist. That’s incredible.

I soon realized that this was a museum about the Holocaust, and their survivors. We each went through a maze peaking throw caves and seeing pictures of hundreds of Jews, dead or looked to be starving to death. Stacy told me I owed her big time for this.

This was the most depressing place I had ever been to in my life and I use to play the piano and sing at funerals. The pictures were heart breaking and Stacy was crying.

I was so sad and angry at Youself I couldn’t even speak. The girl on my card didn’t survive; she died at only eight years old. Youself took us to get icecream after going to the Museum Of Tolerance. Icecream! Stacy and I just looked at him while he had a strawberry malt. What a fool, I thought. We were depressed all the way back to Florida.

Stacy and I didn’t speak the whole trip back…

Youself had the nerve to call me and ask me when I was going to visit again!

LoVe Ya,


Friday, April 13, 2007

GloZell takes the cake…

In line today I met an oddly unique woman who baked Jay Leno a cake. Cindy was upset that she baked a chocolate hazelnut cake for Jay but NBC wouldn’t let her give it to him. Cindy offered to eat a slice to prove she hadn’t poisoned it.
Cindy tried to auction the cake off for 15 dollars before the show started.

Cindy showed me pictures of herself in different costumes like a bunny, Cupid, and Santa Clause. Cindy’s teenage kids Jasmin and Kevin didn’t talk to her at all in the line because they were so embarrassed by her behavior.

Cindy entertained me all day and I would love it, if she came back again.

I also met a very sweet, and successful black family from Louisiana, who gave me a gift. The mother was named Gloria just like my mother. Robert, Gloria and their son Michael got a picture with Jay. On their way up to the stage, Gloria fell.

Without missing a beat Bob Perlo, the warm up comedian, came over and told Gloria she should sue and own the show. Bob’s bit worked. He was very funny. Bob also messed with Cindy. In line I talk to everyone. We are out there for about five hours. When we get inside the studio and Bob plays around with one of us, it’s more funny because we all know each other.

(In the News)
Dear Jessie Jackson

Imus is still fired. I think you (Jessie Jackson) and Al Sharpton have a lot of power. Jessie, if you can call the head of a studio to get a white man fired, can you call to get a black woman hired? ( Me ) There is a double standard. Jessie and Al, you missed some other things you should have protested against. Protest should go both ways.

Like when Isaiah Washington, co-star of the hit show "Gray’s Anatomy", called one of his gay co-workers a fag, who wasn’t out yet. He said it twice, then he denied it. Isaiah didn’t get fired, he went to rehab. Where was the protest against a successful black man messing up a great job that badly? Isaiah is blacker than an ace of spades, and should be counted as two black people.

Jessie Jackson, I do appreciate you going to different black colleges, and black churches, talking about the black family, and how black men need to be more responsible and treat their Black Queen better. Thank you. I heard you speak more than once. You were great. I will let you go, because I know you are busy and have to get back to your wife of over 40 years, and your bastard child born to you by your secretary.

Thank you for your time, Jessie, Mr. Jackson if you’re nasty.


Rainn Wilson was funny. (Next)

Orny Adams was very funny and good looking for a comic.

The musical guest was the "Shins". They were good in a throwback to the Beatles sort of way.

The outside line and the warm up were just as funny as the show today. Jay was great as always.

Remember, let freedom ring…

LoVe Ya,


Thursday, April 12, 2007

G.G. is not P.C….

Thank You Tony (The head of The Tonight Show Security) for finding and returning my purse.

In line I was asked, did I think there is a doubled standard between what white people can say and get away with, and what black people can say and get away with.

The Don Imus thing is the talk all over the country. For those who don’t know Don Imus is a shock radio jock, who called some girls basketball team (mostly black, but what basketball team isn’t) some nappy headed hoe’s. And now he might have been fired.

Yes, there is a doubled standard. The Dave Chappelle Show wasn’t P.C. at all, but Jessie Jackson and his permed sidekick, Al Sharpton, didn’t protest that. Isn’t it worse when your own people put you down? (I hope your listening to yourself, GloZell) I guess since Dave’s show was funny, it was ok.

Dave Chappelle quit his show on Comedy Central, and turned down a huge contract of 50 million dollars, because he felt like non-black people were laughing at him and not with him. I guess degrading black people for money truly got to him. God Bless, Dave.

Dear Comedy Central

I will tap dance in a watermelon patch with a KFC bucket on my head, down a glass of Kool-Aid (Red flavor of course) while singing "Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care" for 50 million dollars! O-tay.



(A Uncle Tom for the right price. I will skin and grin all de way to da bank)

I’m sure my family will have no problem with that. It’s amazing how forgiving people can be if you buy them things.

That is no different than most of the rap music, and the videos with the vide-hoes that go with it. Those videos that effluence young black people aren’t shown on the Klan network. It’s shown on BET. I bet they don’t care as long as the money is coming in. I don’t watch BET, and I don’t listen to Don Imus. Don Imus doesn’t influence young black people at all, but Rappers influence them in the wrong ways.


Julia Louis-Dreyfus was sexy in a skintight black dress. Her interview was a little X-rated. First she talked about wearing panties and showed a clip of her spoofing the Britney Spears incident. After that, she told a story about a huge tortoise and a rock. Julia’s stories alone is the reason to watch the show. I’m going to watch tonight, to see if they are going to edit her pictures or her stories.

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. When she came out nobody stood up. She said ‘Blah, blah ,blah and I eat chocolate every day. I love her. On the way out there were protestors against her. Oh, well.

The musical guest was Relient K. They were good. I thought it was different how the piano was placed. Most people have the piano to the side so people can see them play. This guy had the back of the piano facing the audience and he stood up the whole time.

Remember, A mind is a terrible thing to waste…

LoVe Ya,


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

There is Gold and the end of the Rain-Glo…

I expressed myself in a poem. This is a piece from "I Love Jay Leno, The Musical"!!!

(Deep and moving words, by GloZell)

Jay Leno
My name is Glo
I watch your Show
In a freezing Studio
I am Negro

It’s always great when "Ellen" is shooting next door, because I get to play count the lesbian couples as they walk pass me. They are so nice and friendly, and they stop and talk. I think I have watched the show "The L Word "a little too much. I like Skittles but I don’t want to taste the rainbow.

Today, I entertained the outside line with my beautiful singing.

They like me they really like me!

The "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" story cards were passed out today by "Billy The Cig".

If you smoke and you see him coming your way, run. Billy the Cig bums a cigarette from someone everyday. Billy do you forget that you smoke? Billy, you owe Andy the on stage security guard about 75 hundred thousand dollars worth of cigarettes. So Billy, get your own supply, or even better, quit. Love ya, but I had to tell the TRUTH.

Wanda Sykes hands down is the funniest guest on the show. I love seeing Jay laugh that hard. During the break Jay ripped up his questions because Wanda just says what ever she wants. Her hair gets shorter and shorter every time she comes on the show. I think Wanda likes Skittles.

Jesse James had on a vest that looked way too small. He looked silly, but I wouldn’t say that to his face.

Ricky Lee Jones was the musical guest but I didn't see the act because I had an audition and had to leave early. I thought Ricky was a boy but someone said Ricky was a girl. Oh well I don't care I had an audition!
Imus was fired today. Imus I sure wished you called me something so I can give long boring speaches on national T.V. Oh the power you have Imus to bring black people who haven't been on T.V in a long time. I bet Woopie is happy she lost weight now that she is back on prime time.

Imus if you get another show please fill free to curse me out at anytime. It's GloZell Green, you can interview me at a Soup Plantaion near you. Please trash talk me so I can get some air time. My hair really is very nappy.

Remember, don’t try to change who people are…

LoVe Ya,


Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Today Show with Glo…

In line today I met a great looking black guy, named James. He served in the Marines and now he has a great job traveling, and heading up different program at hospitals throughout the country.

James is looking to get married and has a beautiful 13-year-old daughter in North Carolina. James motto is "Beauty Attracts, but Personality Keeps". So, you have to be fit, beautiful, and pleasant to be around. Ladies if you are between the ages of 27-47 and have a nice firm round behind. (Brothers will be brothers) His info is (fit is who I am @ yahoo. com) all one word, all lowercase. He was pleasant funny, good looking and he’s a sexy Sagittarius! So, please contact him! He said something about the lady needs to have a brain also.

James, and I were both interviewed for the "Today Show" it will probably be on tomorrow. They wanted our opinion on the Imus issue. The white radio guy who called some black female basketball ball player’s "Some nappy headed ho’s."

I think that Imus can say what he wants on his radio show!

I can call Imus a piece of poor-white-cracker-honkey-trash on my blog, but I won’t… because that is my choice. Do you get that Jessie Jackson, and Al Sharpton!


Jamie Lee Curtis kissed Jay twice on the lips and he kissed her on the neck.(Ahhh!!!) I don’t want her on the show again! (A little jealous, GloZell?) After the show, three old ladies were saying that Jamie looked good, and has had work done big time? (A little jealous old hags?) By the way, wasn’t Jamie Lee born part male? (Let it go, GloZell!)

Jonathan Rhys Meyers was good looking, and I love that Irish accent. Some people camped out since 10:00 PM yesterday, just to see him. He is a fun bad boy who gets away with anything, because he is so cute.

Musical Guest was Patty Griffin. I thought the song was pretty but a little nasal sounding. Most of the audience enjoyed her. We all have our opinions.

Remember, it’s okay to agree to disagree…

LoVe Ya,


Monday, April 09, 2007

Good GloZell…

Jason K. used the microphone for announcements today at the 8:00 AM ticket line. Brilliant, now every one can hear what is being said, and the pages don’t have to strain their voices. Very smart Jason K.

My braid fell out while I was exercising in the Tonight Show line before the show! That braid was about two dollars!
Thank you, Roy Pessis for giving me great advice for my blog!

In line, I met a great family from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. They got a picture with Jay!

By the way, Bob, the warm up comedienne. I met your friends, and told them, how to get to Guest Relations. They are a nice couple. I thought the only people you knew, were strippers!

Jack, the number one camera guy, wasn’t at work today, and neither was Andy, AKA "the Hair" the on stage security guard. You are a part of GloZell’s, ghetto, NBC tour. I need you to tell me when you are not going to be here, do you understand me!?

In the Ice cold studio, I sat next to Angelo Michael Luzzi, a handsome Italian guy from Rhode Island, New York. Angelo, said I was just as pretty as Robin, who is Howard Stern’s side kick… thanks, I think. Angelo got a picture with Jay also, but he really wanted to see the TV pop up from behind the couch. Oh, and thanks for the "Tonight Show" socks… You catch ‘em, I’ll keep ‘em.


Anthony Hopkins who is handsome, and strange. Anthony is Welsh, and turned down a part playing a Brit. He didn’t think he would be convincing enough. Yo, Anthony do you remember the movie "The Human Stain" where you played a black man? Thought I forgot about that piece of mess. Still love ya!

Rose McGowan. Over all, she was very sexy. My first thought was that her breasts look bigger in photos and her leg are skinny. Angelo M. Luzzi, said she was perfect. Her dress was green and it hugged her tight. Rose’s hair and make-up was beautifully done.

Good Charlotte was the musical guest. They were great! I am impressed with the set designer who creates the set for all of the musical guest on the show, great job!

People audition for me all the time. ( Like I can get them on the show, I can't get myself on the show) At least Charity gave me a headshot. Well here's a few head shot tips. Get it airbrushed! I see crow's feet girlfriend, and you are young. I can tell you are wearing a padded bra. These things should be brushed out. Don't crop off the top of your head. High School stuff don't count unless you were in the movie "High School the Musical". Take it off. Don't give up or give in. Meet you at the top!

Remember, to be the first say hello… you may meet a friend for life….

LoVe Ya,


Saturday, April 07, 2007

Why GloZell is dating a white Man… part 3

Why GloZell is dating a white Man… part 3

Robinson Family on Blast…

Dear Uncle "R",

Hope all is well. What is the real deal with you? Why not write me back directly? Why did you have to upset my mother. (I realize that might be her own doing, she can be a little dramatic.)

Uncle "R" you can a bully. You get loud and you always have to be right. Take some anger management classes. No one stands up to you because you have money, and you are tall.

My mother called, and said don’t upset Uncle "R". Remember, he paid for that trip when we went to see you perform on the show "ShowTime at the Apollo" four years ago.

And I haven’t forgotten the times I was in Tampa auditioning, one of the times you took me bowling! That was great. Thanks for paying for the trip and the food. Us Robinson’s don’t ever talk about anything, because you get so heated up. I think this white thing is a big deal to you because you ex wife couldn’t take your "I’m right and that’s it" ways and left. On top of that, she married a white man. That must make you sick.

"C" didn’t want you to walk her down the aisle, at her wedding, to a black man. And "C", I know "D" is a good black man because he asked me out first. But that was before he got his eye fixed, so maybe you thought he was talking to you. Anyway, he ended up with the right person!

Nobody in the family could figure out why we weren’t invited to your wedding, "C". Was it because of your father? (Uncle "R") It had to be. That was hard. We all have issues about you not inviting us to your wedding! I’m just keeping it real; we still talk about that, behind your back. Only because we were happy for you, and loved you, then poof, you don’t know us. I’m sorry for the terrible things I wrote in your guest book on your wedding day.

When you want to show off your wedding pictures, that’s what is going through our minds. Why is she showing us pictures of a wedding that she didn’t want us to come to? Then it starts all over.

Your husband "D" is great. Let not forget your first babies’ daddy and how good for nothing, he was. (I hope that he does better now) Who was there for you, The Robinson’s! Your father stepped up to the plate, in the only way he knew how, babysitting, and giving you a jeep!

Now that you got your husband, which is a great accomplishment, because nobody thought it would happen, including you. And it’s going well. "D" is a great black man!

I find it interesting that you freak, if anyone refers to you as a Robinson. Whatever issues you have with your father I hope they get resolved. We have this great reputation and everyone treats us special because we are "The Robinson’s". We were the first back people to have a color TV on the whole street, we owned property and a Sundry store. Out of six children, all six finished college. I am very proud of that. It is a huge accomplishment by Grandmother and Grandfather.

I’m glad that you have been bloggin on, and keeping it real. I will put myself on blast, but I have some other family members to blast first. Since I’m in trouble, anyway with our family I have nothing to loose, and one-day (A long way off, I hope) when I die I will know that I have gotten everything off my chest. Hey, I fell good now. I’m scared to push send button but I’m going to.

I know I’m a Wi-Otch when I’m in Florida and California isn’t far enough away, now. I’m tired of pretending! I really hope your mother is fine. I haven’t seen her since your wedding, but that was high drama. I didn’t mind her leaving, Uncle "R", but not us… not me. She could have kept in touch with my mother. She didn’t have to divorce us all!

Once when I was complaining about how ugly I was, (which is hard to believe because I’m so hot now) Auntie(Your mother ) talked to me about makeup. Another time, she gave me a writing pen with an eagle on it that had a bible verse that told me I can mount up like a eagle . (I think I was 10) When she left, I was mad, and didn’t know how to call or nothing for many years ago.

I know, now, she had to do what she had to do. Please tell her that I loved her, and all of her fancy clothes and jewels. You know I was always into that stuff! I use to be much more shallow, (Hard to believe).

One day, if I manage to find someone who will put up with me, I would hope it would be you, Uncle "R", to walk me down the aisle… If you have decided to talk to me by then.

I will not answer my phone this week if it is a Florida number.

Forget Jay Leno, our family needs Oprah…

LoVe Ya,

The new blackest sheep of the family…


Friday, April 06, 2007

Good Friday, Good Show Glo…

This is the day that Jesus the Christ died on the Cross, and rose again from the dead, so that we all can eat chocolate bunnies and hunt for stank eggs that get dirty, because a rabbit laid them in the grass. God Bless America!

On My 150th show, I decided to wave at people on their way to work.

(I was too tired to exercise) Okay.

A fellow blogger Fightin’ Mad Mary brought me cupcakes! She is the most beautiful person ever!

Eating is much better than working out.

The NBC Pages were entertaining and fun! The male pages ran out like a drill team. It got everyone’s attention. Deshuan (a new page) involved the audience in doing the wave! Leading the line of talent was Jason K. who truly has turned things around. Jason K is a leader, and people follow his lead. Use you power for good. It didn’t stop there! Kristian asked questions like, "Anyone hear from out of the country? "Who has been to the Tonight Show before"? It was great! People want to say how they are a part of the legendary Tonight Show! The pages had a great time also!

For all of those who love spreading the criticism, I say. Please go and tell the pages that they did a great job. That way they will keep it up! Scott, (the Boss over the Pages) they made you proud today. Great job to you Scott, all that you do and the most amazing pages.

My boyfriend (who is white, mother) came to the show (Thanks Boo) and enjoyed everything. Jack the number one camera guy greeted us. I’m working on getting pictures of Jack and the crew. Jeff, (Jay’s Wardrobe Guy) I need help with my white boyfriend’s clothes. He wore shoes to the show that he got from Payless years ago. PAYLESS! You could pay more, but nothing, pay more.

Vicky (the band singer) has just finished her album. You go girl! Vicky makes the show exiting during the breaks. Victoria is the hardest working person ever. Anyone, who can sweat under his or her armpits in a freezing studio every taping, has to be working hard! You all better buy her album!


GloZell Green… Nope but the top three corespondents were.

Nate Jackson, Bill Monte and James Younan!

One was the token skinny back guy with a high voice. That’s so original (J. J. walker, Chris Tucker, Eddy Murphy, Martin Lawrence etc.)

A short, white, nerdy, bald guy who looked like a thumb!

Last but not least, a huge guy who did perfect impressions of dead great comedians and other people, who are not current, and very few people care or remember.

GloZell, build a bridge and get over it!

Jeremy Piven, who was dressed in a funky fun hip way that worked for him. Good guest.

Jenna Fischer, who, just three years ago came to visit the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and vowed to one day be a guest. (Hey Jenna, can you teach a sister a short cut?)

John Legend was the musical guest. Kurt (a friendly hot camera assistant) Thought that John had a great sound and that his rehearsal was just as great and professional as his performance. Thanks Kurt I know you have seen a lot of shows and I trust your opinion.

Tune in tonight and watch John’s eyebrows dance, dance, dance…

Remember, what Holy Week is truly about!…

LoVe Ya,


Thursday, April 05, 2007

GloZell's Beaver

In line today, I met Dan Wereszynski, who is a Flight Attendant and his, parents from Manhattan, N.Y. Dan paid for his parents to travel to California in order to see Jay Leno and the Price is Right because it’s his mother’s birthday. They were on the second row at the Price is right and they took a picture with Jay. Happy B-day!

In GloZell’s VIP section, was Susie Ault, from California and Jean Davis, and Suzie Zanin, who are from the town of Ideal, South Dakota and their 4H-club mascot was the Beavers. They took a picture with Jay and told him they were Ideal Beavers.

I also tried to learn how to play Hacky Sack, from Zach, and Jeffrey who attend a Nazarene College in California. (Go Jesus!)

Also in the outside line was the proudest grandmother ever named Evie. Her grandson, Mark is the drummer for the young hot group the Sick Puppies, who were performing today on the show. Evie passed out flyers, and everything. Also in line was his sister Melissa, father Mark, Uncle and mother Diane. Diane got Mark his first drum set when he was 9 years, old out of a penny saver. Great investment! They were so proud of him.

I don’t know why they couldn’t get on the guest list, their son was on the show and they waited outside since 11:00 AM.

It must be hard for the person who picks the front row people for the show. Everyday he has to pick young, diverse, multicultural people whom are hot. I have seen a few beowolves get to the front, but for the most part, they are pretty people. I fear for him. One day a huge ugly woman, who has traveled cross country to plop her girth on the front row in order to touch Jays hand is going to pimp slap him one day. He should have a bodyguard.

I found out, through my sources, that the P.A. who looks like a broke Ben Affleck is single ladies! I know, how can this be?

He loves his mother, and his bunny slippers. Let me know if you are interested in dating the fake Ben Affleck. He is funny, you will have a great time.


The Oak Ridge Boys! They made a guest appearance, I was so happy. I love country music .and they sang Elvira during the break. Giddy-Up, baboom, boppa, baboom, boppa, bow, bow… I love the Tonight Show with Jay Leno!

Craig T. Nelson is bald and has long hair in the back. The only person I’ve seen pull that off is Sandy who works with the band. Cut your hair, Craig you are bald and only fooling yourself. You look silly!

Molly Shannon is a little quirky, and a lot funny. I met her Saturday night 10:34 PM at an ATM at B of A. I told her that I was a fan. Molly seemed so happy. I didn’t tell her I go to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno every day because I didn’t think she would ever be on the show. Now, I wish I had mentioned it.

Sick Puppies rocked! They were edgy and fresh. The drummer was smoking hot! The whole band looked hot.(all three) I don’t’ know who does the sets for the guest band on the show, but it was awesome! Strings of light bulbs were flashing to the beats towards the end of the song. Great job, set decorators!

I’m still exercising, because I have clothes that I can’t fit in anymore, and I’m not going to by new ones. Yes, I had camel crotch today, but I’m working on that! I can’t help, at this point, that my clothes are too tight and are gathering around my flower. I work out in front of the line 10:00 AM to almost 11:00 AM… I’m doing the best I can, with what I got, people!

Remember, timing is everything…

LoVe Ya,