Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
It's me... thanks mom Mom... that's the oldest camera...Look Susanne Sus... I'm black... My mother cut out enlarged the black girl on the Charmin Toilet paper ... when you grown up without seeing black images... any one where we don't look like Aunt Jemimah is good... I'm starting to understand... ( Glad now we have more than this... ) My mother has kids to practice to perform at different churches...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
In a week I shall try to cover...
* Florida Family ... Mom thinking I dance in my draws with boots on You Tube
* Preparing for the Inauguration.... Vaseline
* The Inauguration... Freezing cold
* My Sister trying to comb my nappy hair
* Zora Neal Hurston Festival.... Ghetto James Brown
* Awesome date ... (with a twist)
* Police called on me mother upset because I was accused of Grand Theft Auto.... In front of date
* Get back to California... and my Landlady has been arrested and is in jail
I am going to down load what seems like years of pictures and videos... so I'll be back I will start fresh tomorrow ... meanwhile... does this look like me? My mother thinks so
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
So stay tuned, she should be back on line in a few short days. Same bat time, same bat channel.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Inagurations was great... Millions of people... eveyone thought that it was at least 2 million... way more than the News was saying...
TO The White People..
It was a lovely time... we all got along... eveything was together and well organize... thanks you white people...
Black People... chile' let me tell you... ain't never seen black people loose it so many time... (wait... I think someone white is reading this... ( wait.... oh I know).... Hey they make a new ski... ( good they are gone)...)
Stupid things that happen... okay at the Gala ... we all down stairs and they give us pink wrist bands.. for bus 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,.... and told us what bus to get on...
Then we were handed the schedule (sorry about spelling) for the rest of the trip right before we got on the bus... so we had to hold on to a folder at the Gala ( dumb)
PROBLEM... we all had the same band... people got on what ever bus was going... they ran out of buses and some had to take a cab.... ( did you not have a count of how many people were going?)
Get to the Gala... singing all da way...
We were told to turn in our beautiful invitations that we just got in our folders and that we would get them back after the Gala.. just write your names on it...
(Sounds stupid to me... we all have pink bands on... why take our invitation)... then some guy marked our wrist under the pink band...??????
Gala was great... wse did the Obama Slide all night... and I Met George Wallace the comedian... people I havent' seen in years... and My Ex-Mother In Law...
We were told the buses will be back at Midnight... I grabbed mom.. " Let's Go"... we went down early...
grabed invitions with someone elses name on it... amazingly she handed me my own...
went down to the buses and Four busses had already come... WHAT?... most of the people are still in the Gala...
I pushed my way onto the bus... saved a seat for mom and we bounced... turned out they ran out of buses and some people had to get a cab from Washington back to Baltimore... it ended up in 1600 dollars worth of cab fair and they didn't make it back till 4 AM...
(hold up... I smell... white people... ) oh yes we had a fantastic time.... (okay... the coast is clear)
the schedule DIDN" T HAVE TIMES ON IT... WHAT?
On the bus going back from the Gala... a man was passing out our Metro passes... You had to have a special Obama Metro Pass to get on the metro on inauguation day.... however...
not eveyone went to the Gala so they didn't get a metro pass... and they RAN OUT... ( What tha?)
This poor grandmother went to the Gala but her daughter and grandson didn't go becuase you had to be a certain age to go to the Gala... couldn't get a metro pass for her daughter and grandson...
ended up staying in the hotel watching the inaguation... the only thing was the little boy was video-ing the bus ride and everything for his school.. and didn't get to go... (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
They announced that the busses will be pulling off for the metro at 7 AM... I said 7 AM... that's too late? So I was cool with whatever becuase I knew that due to my Tonight Show training.. that ... 7AM was going to be too late...
" White people will be camping out by 4 AM trust and belive)
so much pushing on the metro a lady got hit by the train... (man I hope no white folk reading how we really was acting)
No signs... people were lost... no cop... security knew anythying... " I don't know " freezing... for me it was still fun... I enjoy crowds and fans...
I took a few pictures... didn't want to take my hands out of my gloves and pockets... sooo cold...
it was cold... I heard it was cold becuase the white people said " It will be a cold day in Hell before a black man becomes President"... Lawd it was cold...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I will be on my computer soon as I can... going to Florida then D.C... can't believe it
Before I left .... Fightin' Mad Mary took me to this great sandwich place Pappa George
the best tasting Greek sandwich ever...
Mary's dog was nice to me...
I watched Mary's new reality show Tool Academy... it's a hoot... OMG!
Mary let me use her carry on and booked my flight... she is soooo amazing... thank you so much check out her blog Fightn' Mad Mary ...
Loved Ross the Intern at the Golden Globes... the clips playing everywhere... Jay what's up... haven't seen clips of your monologue everyday on Good Day LA ... David Letterman and Conan had clips all week ... NBC promoting Conan?... that's good...
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I am getting ready to go back to Florida... then get on the bus to D. C.
I am not looking forward to the cold... I can deal with crowds... this trip includes inauguration, parade, gala, food and hotel...
I want to be this OMG Obama! But ... right now it's a free trip... I feel bad that I don't feel more blackery... maybe it will kick in... I do plan on interviewing... um... taking plenty of pictures....
I'm sure I will see celebrities... that more down my alley... but the cold... I don't know what the weather is in DC... I would think that would be on the news
today I am washing clothes going to an Indian Restaurant staying in Studio City then at the airport tomorrow...
my sister "DeLa" radio show starts tomorrow... can't wait to call in
" Hello I have a sister who hates her mother and has a living room pooping cat"... Ha!... nah she already hate me... I will try to stay on her good side...
I already got my yearly spanking
Madear with my hair on... and "DeLa" host of" Love after Midnight with DeLa" ... Christian Relationship Radio Show...-------------I didn't want to say... wasn't going to but I tell you all almost everything... I begged BEGGED PK to come over yesterday... anytime to see me before I go... so humbling... I can't think that I am all that... better than anyone else when you are pleading... ha ha ha ... I ain't too proud to beg... it's not his fault... he didn't come over... he was watching the movie Superbad
I will have a white man of my very own... someday... ( he's so cute...aw.. )
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Have you ever felt like singing about... white people ... I know we all do
this was the after thought ...
HOW TO BE WHITE: By Dan Wereszynski
-There are several types of clothing white people wear. Many of them have different meanings and serve different venues. You’ll need at least one each:
Track suit – Working out, and staying fit. You won’t actually work out in this, but it gives a great illusion. Usually worn by old Jewish people in Boca Raton, Florida in a health club (please note: health club is actually a resort with steam rooms and saunas only).
Preppy Snob – Very simple. Consists of khaki pants, a clean white tee-shirt (no wife beater shirts), with a crisp long sleeved blue unbuttoned shirt over the tee. Always have your nose held high when wearing this, and NEVER tuck in. ALWAYS WORN BY ANY NYU AND UCLA STUDENT.
Formal Wear – Just look on c-span and wear whatever the oldest guy with gray hair is wearing. Usually worn by Republicans.
California Hangin’ – Cargo shorts which almost touch the knees (little baggy). Any short sleeved tee shirt which has some type of artistic design or anti-government slogan. Must use sentences that consist of the words dude, hot, freelance, and spirit every hour. Usually worn by hippie’s who have very rich parents that own good businesses or many shares in the stock market.
-When it comes to language white people can be a bit funny and unusual. But this guide should help.
First off, ALL white people know at least one Spanish phrase. So it would be good for you to pick one out and practice it as if you were a tourist visiting Spain, Mexico, or talking to your hired help Pedro who takes care of your garden at the summer house.
If your annual income is over
$100K per year you must enunciate every letter of every word.
If your income is not up to par or you’re from Texas, Louisiana, Montana, Kentucky, Arkansas or Nebraska you should elongate every other word. Dropping the “g” sound off every word that ends in “ing” is acceptable too. Just watch old news conference with Sarah Palin and practice sayin everythin.
-White people have many forms of entertainment.
In the television world you should be a fan of at least one reality show, despise one, and not know of the existence of the other 80 reality shows created in the past year. Everyone should be a fan of Oprah and one prime time drama show from one of the different networks. Everyone should have seen the most recent Saturday Night Live show and explain even though it was funny it won’t ever be the same as when Dan Akroyd or Anthony Michael Hall did the show.
In terms of music that can be quite difficult to figure out white people. Let’s break it down like this:
Rural/country-side areas should like country music plus the entire State of Texas and City of Nashville.
In the urban and suburban areas teens and 20-somethings should be a fan of rap music and perform it horribly when drunk, doing karaoke, or sitting around smoking pot with their college buddies.
Parents and older generations should not like any rap music, but know of at least one rapper, but ALWAYS confuse his songs with that of another rap artist.
But all generations should be fans of Elvis and The Rolling Stones.
Gay people should like Broadway musicals.
All white children only has play dates at the local playground, in a park throwing a waffle ball up in the air to him or herself, or in a Chucky Cheese during a birthday party.
Reading should be only in the morning with newspapers, magazines at the waiting area of your weekly psychiatrist office. And books should be read in the library or park when trying to “find yourself”. College students should always discuss what books they have read in the past year, and use the phrase, “The book was way better than the movie.”
-In closing I hope this helps with your journey in becoming white. It may be hard at first as 89.2% of white people are emotionally unstable. But if you follow this guide, you’ll be on your way to Dodge in no time.-
Thank you Dan W. with all of the "Change"... we must make sure white folks don't forget where they come from... "Keep White alive!
Howie Mandel... take care of yourself... get well now... love ya bounce back show us Howie do it....
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
after slaving over a hot stove ( Leslie is quite the cook... and has these jeans that will drop any man to their knees ) she made her Leslie's Famous African Curry Stew!!!! WOW... you feel healthier after eating it (Vegan)
Leslie for Christmas got us Magic Creation Boxes... we had great fun on our project... THANKS LESLIE
I told Leslie about my Ex -in law sort of who still calls
Does anyone have a ex-in-law-ish person who calls... no?... I do and we have the same conversation... over and over...
I just try to laugh about it... I mean life is so short... and I have other issues... (2 days PK free :(
when I was in elementary school... the only black (we were blacks then) in the class... slavery come up during History and Black History... ahhhh.... I was singled out... didn't want to be /look like the ones out in the field whipped... the light skin blacks got to be inside...I wonder/scared if I did have my own kids... would color be an issue... or it wouldn't matter? I would love Oprah or Tyra or GloZell to do a show on people who treat people different because of skin color within their own communities... ( not proud of this fact ... just working through somethings ok)
Thursday, January 08, 2009
but then we walked back to the Ellen Degeneres show waiting line... announcements were made ( always with a microphone ... Perfect) that we CAN NOT use the bathroom when we get to the Ellen Studio so go now!.... three of 8 toilets didn't flush!!!!! AND.... MUST WATCH VIDEO
I feel like I will be band from the Ellen show now... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
my mother always jump on her trampoline... so I taped her... hee hee hee... then she says oops and goes to the bathroom... ha!
Watch Night service is on New Years Eve... it's done in the black churches where you pray or shout in the new year... start the new year in church... it's a slavery thing... they would pray for freedom and a better life this up coming year... most white people haven't even heard of it...
Mt. Olive AME CHURCH Orlando Fla.
MD WHERE ARE YOU?