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Monday, March 30, 2009

Sexy Glorious Lady of Wrestling... #1 Champion in the World...

One night I watched the life story of Andre The Giant.... he was a great man...

I then realized that G.L.O.W.. is my name... hmmmm ... then I remembered SK bought me a bathing suit that I didn't use because it was so cold...

I put the two together and...
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Undefeated number one female Champion... Glorious Glo of wrestling



See what happens when I'm left unattended... hee hee hee

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

We are going to get reparations from de White Peoples...

Reparations...

At Lunch....

SK--- A white guy called me nigger at work today... he didn't know I was walking in the room

G--- What?... they all say it... that doesn't mean he hates black people that just means he was mad at you... he hates you... just you...

SK... GloZell you still like white guys?

G ---(Aw Geez here we go) Ah... well... I like you a lot... but um... yea... I still think white guys are attractive...
(Silence)

SK --- If I tell you something will it... no .. no never mind

G--- Tell me what... tell me what

SK --- NO no... it's going to change our relationship... promise me it won't

G--- (okay this is where he tells me he's been to jail or something... too good to be true..)

I cross my arms and just wait for whatever...

SK --- I feel like I have a rage from... slavery... and it's always lying on the surface...

G --- All blacks do...

SK--- But my best friends ... closer than any family... are white...

G --- Yeah well they call you nigger also... but they love ya

SK -- One time... I was at this bar with my white friends and this girl approached me... a white girl...

G --- (Oh my gawd he killed her)

SK ---- She was really into me

G--- ( probably did 30 years... )

SK --- I ... was...

G--- ( OH no... he is still a fugitive?)

SK --- I was with a white girl....

G--- That's it... you were with a white girl..

SK --- I dated her... I was WITH her...

G--- Ah SK... every black man under the age of 50 has been with a rabbit ( a white girl)

SK --- When I was having sex with her... I was trying to get freedom back... just taking out on her.... I was tearing that ass up... and she liked it


G --- Yea she liked it... there something about getting hanged over sex that just turns a guy on..

G --- We should have... Have sex with a white person for Slavery reparations Day!..


SK --- Laughing... that's great...


G--- Wow... that's my favorite Holiday of all... any white person...they have to say yes... and this holiday has to go on for 400 years... or at lease while Obama is in office...

G--- So... pick 5 white people to get your reparations from... this is great... finally a use for white people... I love it!

SK --- Not that I have given much thought to what white woman I would like to be with ( LYER... all black men do!)


SK --- Hillary Clinton

G --- WHAT?... ah ha ha ha ( laughing so hard WTF?)... oooh oooh... man for real?

SK -- Hillary is smart and powerful and I'll do it for reparations... we have to get the powerful ones...

G --- I get Bill

SK --- No (laughing ) cuz I would never get you back...

SK --- Yea... I'll knock the bottom out dat ass

G --- You want to tap Hillary Clinton.... that's funny... you freak


SK --- Yep... I would tap the hell out of Hillary Clinton...

G--- Someone needs to... Bill ain't doing it
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SK's White people I would do for Slavery Reparations...

Hillary Clinton

Katie Couric ... She is perky as hell I have to stop that...lol

Madeleine Albright... ( WTF?)

Janet Reno.... ( I would have rathered him tell me he has been to prison)

hold on... clicked to something else... he just came into the room...

Okay I'm back... where was I ... Janet Reno... I forgot his last person...

GloZell's White people I would do for Slavery Reparations...

Bill Clinton... (He's a freak ... and he would let everyone know " Yes I did have sexual relations with that woman"..)

Alec Baldwin... ( naw... he doesn't look like he would be a good lay... and I have to do this for my people so... no Alec)

Baryshnikov!!!!!!! ( That white guy could do leaps over my tongue... yes... oh yes)

Toby Keith (Thick Country Singer... seems arrogant and sure of himself... probably get up and drop a few dollars on the floor and never call... but it would be worth it.. )

Russell Brand ... A handsome odd, mysterious comic who is just a genius ... love him!

David Beckham... ( the picture screams for itself)(Some say he's a soccer player... don't care... oh wait... he's not American... don't care I have Baryshnikov... they can defect...

Who's on your list... who kind of turns you on that' s a different race than you date?

( So many people have read just one blog or a video and this is what I have been accused of... I hate gays, I hate Jews, I hate white people, I hate special people ( I get lots of comment on YouTube) I hate this person, that person... I mean if you just take something I said once when I was joking or mad... none is true... so I just don't judge from one incident or if they say something on stage at a comedy club...)

Black people already forgiven Rev. Jessie Jackson and he said " I would like to cut off Obama's balls"... whatever
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Sunday... Lawd I will blog about that day... but on Sunday... SK and I ate at my Madea's...

today he took off on his lunch ( guy selling veggies on the side of the road...)break to buy grocerys ( man why did I take the picture of the WATERMELON!)and take them over to Madea... she was shocked and oh so happy! cuz my sister asked us to go to her church (Faith World ) tonight and I leave tomorrow...

Thank you...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Does Michelle Obama?... Nah... Does she?

HEY 15 FOLLOWERS! WELCOME... ha ha ha... I am taking over da World...wha ha ha! ( Thanks)
I added pictures from SK and I walking
Morning on Saturday... ( why didn't I just say Saturday morning?)


SK --- You think Michelle go down on Barack?

G--- What? No...NO Way...

SK--- I think she does...

G-- NO... Michelle is to educated... Highly Educated women... naw... they don't do that kind of stuff.... lucky for you I stopped after a B.F.A (Bachelors of Fine Arts for the University of Florida Go Gators)

SK-- I think she does...

G -- Michelle has a under bite... so that's not going to work... She like " I have to plant trees, go to meeting, and you think I'm going to get on my knees... I don't think so"

G--- Michelle is so organized and ... naw I just don't think so

SK --- She probably has Obama on a schedule

G--- Yes... ( in a fake Michelle voice) Okay Barack... dick sucking from 8 to nine ...

(Both laugh.... we are being so stupid... ha ha )

SK --- GloZell you are crazy...

(GloZell humping a pillow) G -- Who's the ah President... who is the ah HNIC... Say it...

Both Laughing...

G-- I don't think so... I didn't say that he doesn't get it done... I just don't think Michelle does it... nope...

G--- I knew that was out the window when the Mother-in-law moved in... The kids, a dog, mother in law and a National Deficit...

SK --- Barack is like like Dam!

G--- Barack is what... 50 or close... a 50 year old men can't even pee as strong as they use to ... dipping and stuff... naw Michell ain't down...

SK --- ( Laughing... that's right... you right... ha ha ha )

G--- And Barack smokes so... he's tart anyways... Michelle ain't having it...

G--- But.. he grew up in Hawaii so

SK --- So?

G--- So he probably eats a lot of pineapple...

SK--- Let's go walking... I know a pretty place

G--- But I don't have any clothes for that...

SK --- you can wear mine... ( SK shorts was a little short cutting my cheese in the back and the liner was cutting my raisin in the front)
We ended up getting bathing suits... towels... to go swimming at my momma house

But it was way to cold to get into the water


SK... in the shower

SK --- GloZell ... what the hell is going on with my foot

while SK was asleep I painted his toenail... ha ha ha... I should never be left unattended

Friday, March 20, 2009

XXX.... Don't knock it till you tried it...

Okay... did you hear about Natasha Richardson...

I heard that she was on the Bunny Slopes... with an instructor... bumped her head somehow and died... Crazy... I was in shock... such a nice beautiful lady... I only heard the Bunny Slope thing once so ... is that true?


on that thought... Do everything you ever wanted to do... life is short...

So...


Um... how do I say this with taste....


I tried the ... you know... the back door approach.... yep... interesting...

started out with some Warming KY Jelly... and yada yada yada... let's try this... ( my crazy idea... no guy is going to say no...)

It didn't hurt and surprisingly... I must be made for it cuz... no problems... feel fine... trying something different...

I would try it again... so that's that... check that off the things to do before I die list...

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My sister has been wanting to go out... I did her hair yesterday... went walking 2 miles...
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How was Obama on the Jay Leno Show?... I will catcht the highlight from the Tonight Show ... How cool is President Obama... I think we are in good hands America....


Okay over and over and out....


GloZell

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ghetto QVC...Lingerie

Hey a new Follower... Welcome 13... wow... how cool...

I am in Orlando... going to the DMV today... SK said we are going to visit my mommy today... ( Great fun... whoo hoo) got to go.. my breakfast is made...

WHAT 14 Followers... Aw... I'm not alone in my craziness!!!!! THANKS!
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Monday, March 16, 2009

American Idol Taylor Hicks is Teen Angel in Grease!

(Welcome 12 Follower! Thanks)

Sunday Cindy planned a great day of Subway traveling, We are here!!!!!The show was fantastic...AHHHHHHHHHHHH Taylor Hicks... why did I cut off his head!Bye Taylor.... Your the one that I love... ooh ooh ooh!Art told me where to go and where to wait for Taylor... Thanks!Had such fun!!!!
in the subway going back this guy was out of his mind and walked up on us... I said" I plead the blood of Jesus over us" and just kept saying Jesus Jesus over and over and he backed up and froze... (The name of Jesus will stop any bad spirit)Then we went to Alcapulo for dinner... next to NBC across the street from the Tonight Show with Jay Leno... my old stumping grounds... How nice is Taylor Hicks... LoVe him



Sunday, March 15, 2009

Collodial Silver turns "Family Guy" blue...

( I got a new follower... WELCOME! sounds weird to say follower huh?)

Saturday... Cindy gave me a Christmas gift... out of the blue... and out of season...lolIt was a Dreamgirls CD ( haven't seen it... cool) a Steve Harvey book... and a three piece knit set... you know people don't have to do anything for anyone... so nice when... out of the blue do something so nice... ( I can't let my friends down... I will return the favor)

I was wearing the shoes she got me last year.... (Stop with the feet already!)

This is my awesome friend of a few years Brent ... I will tell you his amazing story in about two week... it's "Wonder"ful...( hint hint )

after my friend Wa Wa and I were done praying

Wally reached in his pocked and pulled out... nuts he carries just in case he runs into a squirrel ( FUN FACT: GLOZELL prays and chants everyday (most of my friends do and I have my own ghettos service) Wa WA had to ride in my car while his car was getting fixed... ( I'm not that bad of a driver WALLY!)
Wally found a squirrel

At Wa Wa's

Wally--- Hey GloZell... look at my new Star Trek shirts...( Wally has so many costumes, masks and more wigs than I do... I could tell you more about Wa Wa's place .... but you wouldn't believe me)

Wally --- GloZell try on this costume... ( Wally in Captain Action Hat, Star Wars Costume and a giant Squirrel...ha ha ha Wally is so funny)... Send the picture to your new Boyfriend

I am not going to show him this picture... ( This will be my before picture.. I will retake 40 pounds smaller)

Wally you are coughing ... you need me to go to Mr. Wisdom and get you some Colloidal Silver


Wally---- I make my own...

GloZell--- Stop lying

Wally --- I do .... Look I really do

Wow....









may I put on your gun holster ( Gosh GloZell suck in your gut or get some support draws)

give me both of them ( Fightin' Mad Mary, Wa Wa and I are going to a shooting range... never been) What's Up Yo

I'm gonna get you mutha sucka...

Adam West called... ( Adam was Batman on TV!)(How cool... Wa Wa and Adam both work on Family Guy... I got to talk to him... cool)

Chuck McCann who goes to the Playboy Mansion... almost everyday... and tells the best stories! and cute friend Pixie

Wa Wa is PlayBoy Bunny Bridget's Voice Over coach (girl on the right) and was on Girls Next DoorGolly Gee Batman.... with GloZell it's Always an adventure...

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ON THE PHONE...

SK --- How was your day?

This question can take hours to answer because it amazes me what can go on in one day... this day wasn't planed at all except the praying part but gifts, hanging out with Wa Wa , Chuck and Pixie just happened...

SK talk for hours like we do every night

G--- Hmmm I'm getting a text

TEXT--- Hi, GloZell (red kiss face) Haven't talked with you in a while. I hope you're doing well. I've missed you! PK


SK--- Something wrong...

Silence

SK--- You ok Glo?


G--- Yes... PK ... ( Why PK? WHY... now... oh he misses me now... ) texted


SK--- The guy who didn't come to see you before you left for the Obama Inauguration? He was stupid... his loss... What did you like abou him anyways?


G--- Yeah... ahhh... um...he' s... white ... ahhh... I ... guess I was trying to salvage something... from two year at the... ahhhhhhhhhhh Tonight Show... but ...

SK --- Okay... he doesn't need to text you ... I'm the best guy for you and I will never mistreat you ...

G --- ( They all say that... time will tell) Thanks... you are the best guy that has ever like me... ( Why didn't PK just ... whatever)

so SK and I talked about something else for a few more hours....

Good nite SK

Text

PK --- I miss you

G --- I'm doing well thanks...( WHY WHY WHY WHY !)

PK -- Hope to see you soon

G -- I have a boyfriend now

PK -- I wasn't saying that... Roo was. I tried to tell him about your bf but he said it wasn't about that. I'll never figure that little guy out

PK--I really need a she-chiilla this year for Roo ( his chinchilla) He misses you (Red kiss face) Nite dear. I Miss you

G--- Roo will be happy... I hope all is well with you... tell Roo I miss him...

PK --- I'm listening to Christmas music... Starbucks sale $3 .99(smiley face)

G--- Um.. that's great...( people are in the Christmas mood all year round)... nice feeling I guess

PK ---- Roo's been asking about conjugal visits with you ( red kiss face) He sends his love

G--- Ha ha ha... I'm sure the right girl will come along...

PK --- Don't be a stranger GG ( purple winking smiley face)

G -- Love always

PK --- Love always

I don't get it... don't have to... SK is normal ( I think) and nice to me so... that's that

went to bed and dreamt about SK making me breakfast in his little robe, wide stance, sexy legs and ashy white ankles/feet ( so glad SK doesn't read my blog... I would be in trouble...HA!)