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Showing posts with label John Melendez. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Melendez. Show all posts

Monday, February 04, 2008

Glo Giants!

The strikers are going strong... If this strike is going to end soon...they are going to be strong all the way to the end! Stay encouraged


Today I met Striker Richard who said I look like his beautiful ex girlfriend who he took to Italy...( wow...thanks...did she carry a Leggy?)

Jeremy is a pretty fun guy... He as been striking everyday...
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The Homeless guy... shouted " You F'n Lesbians to three young ladies ( dyke-esh apperance) going to the Ellen DeGeneres Show...


...........................................................................(KD Lang )................................................................

and "There are 6 thousand F'n Mexicans in Chicago...( Hmmm didn't know that)


Homeless guy is too comfortable at NBC on NBC Grounds... he attends the show everyday... he has a hole in the back of his pants...he is crazy... I know... cuz it takes one to know one...


Would you like me to tape and post him yelling you F'n Lesbians so you know what I'm talking about?...(Don't know what else to do... don't know who to tell ) The audience has enough to deal with... like strikers...(The strikers don't bother anyone )
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John Melendez did the warm up today! (It was his first time..)



John M. --- Who know who I am? Chirp chirp..(John started sweating)



I was on the Howard Stern Show for 15 years as Stuttering John...(Extra chirp chirp)Come on Boobie...you can do it)Then he said " Any one have any questions about the show?


Hands went up... John threw out Tonight Show stuff...


John said that GloZell comes to the show everyday... she is crazy! ( LoVed it!)


I Loved that John Melendez named ALL the members the band..


John Melendez did a great job warming up the audience today... ( Bob Perlow the warm up comedian must be out of town...see ya tomorrow)


Guests:


Dan Rather... a legend ! Jay did this Actor Studio word association bite and Jay said.. Katie Couric...Dan was like I think she is rethinking her decision to leave the Today Show( well he didn't say all that but that's what he implied)

Mike Rowe from "Dirty Jobs" Jay showed a clip of him singing on QVC... funny!Josh Kelley he is married to Katherine Heigle... He was so GREAT... If I was Johnny Carson I would have called him over to the couch for an interview... I want to know more about him... I loved his voice... the song choice...energy...GREAT JOB JOSH KELLEY.... ---------NBC Page Happy Birthday Cameron!( It was Friday)... It's okay to still live at home... Rent is high in California... don't feel bad about it... --------------------------------------------

Joe( who has been attending the show everyday...parents think he is looking for a job... so don't tell them) caught a stuffed animal...and Gary got a picture with Jay and he love the Palm Trees in Burbank...


I met John and Marilyn Zumda...at the Peruvian restaurant Choza Mama...The best food!-------------


Dr. Phil Show was good today... Subject..."" Saggy Pants...It got heated! Great Show Dr. Phil
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GLOZELL'S GHETTO BLACK HISTORY!


Grey's Anatomy Justin Chambers checked himself into a psychiatric treatment place...

Probably needed some peace and quiet from his wife...(ha ha)


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GLOZELL'S GHETTO RELIGION ...


It's Lent season in church ...we are learning about the days leading up to the death of Jesus...


Pastor asked --- Any questions?


Kid asked-- Who killed Jesus?... Republicans or Democrats?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

GloZell's Dusty Day’s…

When I woke up this morning, I noticed that my mom did some decorating.


She added a scale (and a little guilt)


She put pillowcases on my bathroom window and tied them with my hair bands, and used the bed sheet in my kitchen-like area.


Dear Christopher Lowe the decorator…
Could you please stop coming up with your ghetto behind
ways of having more than one use for things! My mother has
reached new levels. She loves your show, but this has to stop!
She thinks that SHE is an interior decorator. And it’s all your fault!
P.S. She thinks you being gay is just a phase that you will out grow.


I took my mother to the airport today, flew to NBC to get my tickets, then went to my church(Where 7th Heaven was shot) to teach camp while, Bailey (The church going dog) held a spot for me in line along with his human named Micki. Bailey was so tired being in the heat all day. Thanks Micki (The Human) Bailey (The dog) and Harris (The driver). Thanks so very much!


In the 8 AM line, I met Ashley and Julie from Sarasota Florida!



I was so embarrassed because, the NBC Guest Relations Area "Day’s of Our Lives" old outside set, looks a slap mess.


Paint missing. Wood missing, Trash and filth everywhere.


Broken signs.


It’s better inside…if you’re not allergic to dust.


Now my car is a mess, but guess what NBC I don’t have thousands of people every week spending their hard-earned money to come sit in my car. (I will work on it, now back to you)

Dear President of NBC (Needs Better Care) I could go on, but my boyfriend is taking me out and I don’t have time to be polite. Whenever you get off your year long vacation, please take the time to come to NBC Burbank and check things out.


Your building looks like POO ON A STICK! Can you find some funds to slap a little paint around?


It’s the first thing people see. We are waiting in line for hours. Since it’s summer and there are a lot of people, I will give you until October to have that place cleaned. If not Ray Ray (the neighborhood drunk who lives on my street) will help me clean it up and I will send you the bill. It won’t cost you much. Ray Ray will do anything for a bottle of Mad Dog or Colt 45!


If October comes and goes without an outside make over. I will be dressed in a "I don’t know nothing bout’ birthing no babies" outfit complete with a red bandana on my head. Looking like Mrs. Aunt Jemimah Buttersworth. And I will take plenty of pictures of Ray Ray and myself cleaning NBC. (And you know I will).


If the people who are high up like you had better communication with others. Maybe all the good people won’t keep leaving NBC. (No Body Cares) I hope you do. Thanks in advance, and enjoy the rest of your vacation.

Looking forward to meeting you.

In line Micki and Bailey met Lance (green shirt, who is finer than frog hair comb four ways) Kristie (Newport Beach) who thought Andy AKA "The Hair" the onstage security guard’s hair was fake, her mother Teri and her brother Dustin from Akron Ohio.

At 3:35 PM there were no paper towels in the Tonight Show with Jay Leno Men’s bathroom. Most men don’t use any kind of paper in the bathroom. Let’s encourage the ones who do. Thanks.


Corespondent John Melendez having contest on the beach segment was racy but very good. I think the girl on the left (the Cheerleader) won the race. It was close but she won by a nipple. It was great and the segment didn’t go on and on and on. It was the right length.

Dear John Melendez.
Your arms looked great!
However, there was a quick shot
of you without a T-shirt. If you want,
you can borrow a W-beater from Ray Ray.
Because its not quite time.

Other Corespondents:
I love Majorie Johnson but how long do I have to watch that old lady pass out cookies to tall athletes. It’s cute for the first 23 minutes. Cut the segments.

John Melendez, Majorie Johnson, and Ross the Intern, and the Judgmental "B". work all the time. Kipp and Kim work most of the time. Rethink the others.

My Mother and I will be happy to correspond at the BET Awards, Image Awards, any Bar-B-cue opening. You need to send someone!

Guests:

Jessica Beil(from 7th Heaven) is just gorgeous. The whole "lets make Jessica sing" was so planned. Jay didn’t say what song she should sing, but somehow she knew what song Kevin was playing. In person her chest is small but in the movie clip her chest was, Va va va voom. Great bra! Jessica is a classy star!

Bill Engavall from "Blue Collar Comics" was so funny. He talked about chickens, leather pants, and scooters. He is very funny. It was a very good show.

Musical guest: T-Pail featuring Yung Joc. They were great. I love when groups are uniform. The only thing I didn’t like/understand was the black keyboard player with an ape on his shirt. That wouldn’t fly in the south. Nice Bling bling.

I know a black guy who should wear an ape shirt because he looks like the missing link. I could capture him and hire him to clean NBC. (You just don’t know when to quit GloZell, they got the point)

On the way out Producer "Bob the Builder" and Bob Perlow, the warm up guy spoke to me. Love them! Can’t we all just get along?

Bailey go home and get some rest…Thanks.


Remember, you never get another chance to make a first impressions…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Glo Otter Go…

Out side at 10:00 AM a white woman about 25 years old was talking to herself and was filthy. She had to be on drugs. I felt sorry for her until I remembered what my mother always told me. A dirty white person can take a bath, comb their hair and get a job quicker than a qualified black person. I wonder if that is true.

Dear Dirty White People

Is that true?
Is my mother right?
Can you get a job just by taking a bath?
Please take a bath, get a job and let me know.
Thank you
LoVe,
Jobless and clean GloZell

In line I met Holly, who drove me nuts talking about Kiefer Sutherland and his show "24" all day long. Holly lost her mom to a brain tumor, moved in with her dad to help him out.( Holly has two jobs) Somehow she has the best outlook on life. I was so happy when she got an autograph from Kiefer and a picture with Jay. Thanks Kiefer and Jay! Holly I hope to see you again! (Pictures coming soon)

In the studio

Greg (I have know idea what you do) I didn’t say anything about your Walrus like mustache. I didn’t say anything when you use to change into a suit before the show. (Like the camera was ever going to be on you) But please tell me that there’s a racetrack that I don’t’ know about, hidden in the NBC parking lot. Are you changing tires for Jay’s car in 10 seconds or something? That is the only explanation for that Red Budweiser Race Car Outfit you were wearing today.

Kevin Eubanks, Charlie Brown called and wants his shirt back.

In the lobby, the TV screen was showing what was going to be on the show. When Jay was doing his Sold or Not Sold, I had already seen it.

I was sitting next to John Melendez (who can read) I would guess everything before Jay said Sold or Not Sold. John was like" GloZell you are good at this. (Ha, Ha) Then I started guessing what items it was going to be, before the item was shone. John was so amazed. I think John took a bath to get this job.

Guests:

Jarod Miller and his animals. The best part was when these otters tried to make a run for it. One escaped and ran into the audience. I was cheering for the otter who was tired of the white man.

Kiefer Sutherland told this strange story about how an Orangutan raped him. Things must have gotten pretty bad after Julia Roberts left your behind at the altar.

Musical guest was Macy Gray and Natalie Cole. Where did they meet? The Crack House. This whole performance was strange. Why did two black women have two black women background singers who wasn’t really far enough in the background? One girl was so big. Big Girl would have been ok, but the other one was so tiny. Both of the non-background singers were in orange and looked like, Frick and Frack Pumpkin Twins.

Macy was high and Natalie had on a color too close to the other pumpkins. Natalie didn’t really sing she just made noise and at one point scatted. (Okay)

When I saw Natalie Cole, I was amazed. I didn’t know she could sing with people who are alive. Well, I guess there is nothing more dead than Macy Gray’s career. Both of them need a come back and couldn’t get anyone else. They need to go back.

Dear Natalie Cole,

If I started to sing, and my dead father started harmonizing with me, I would freak! Not do a whole album of HIS hits and sing with his hologram, 20 years after his death. What do you smoke?

Remember; just say no to drugs…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

GloZell gets cursed out?...

I am so glad I got in today. After yesterday, I thought I was going to be kicked out.

The security was so much better today. Every one was alert. The Asian guard asked a guy if he had a weapon after the guy kept beeping. That’s what you have to do. Great job Bobby Lee or what ever your name is.

Jack (# 1 cameraman) will you please wear those jeans you wore today everyday? I think that is was beautiful how the denim caressed under your gluteal folds. You must keep the jeans alive now that Mike the Stage Manager has stopped.

I guess Mike has stopped wearing his tight jeans because he is a new dad. Congratulations Mike the Stage Manager! Did your beautiful new baby inherit your gorgeous hair from the 80’s?

"Billy the Cig" I didn’t know you knew sign language. Billy is that the same finger you use to scratch your crack with before every the show? Keep digging Billy until you reach gold!

Bob Perlo "The warm up comedian". You are doing well. I love that you used the band in the pre show. When Mr. Vicky got involved, it was hilarious. Love her!

John Melendez walks over to me during the first break and said " GloZell, I’ve read your blog" That’s all I heard. I don’t know if John cursed me out or praised me because I was so shocked that he can read!

That’s great John, maybe Jay can give you a job.

Guests:

Leah Remin (King of Queens) has killer legs. She hasn’t lost all of her baby weight but she worked that dress. Leah is the type of person you want to be your friend or she will beat you up. Love her!

Adam Brody. Before the show, everyone got wife beaters that advertised his new movie. They only want skinny people to advertise because the tanks were so small. I will stretch and wear it, Ha!

Mavis Staples. Prince wrote a gospel song for her, the chorus was " God is coming back quicker than a dog in heat" No one bought it. What were they thinking? Mavis talked about it once on the Arsenio Hall Show.(This black guy with a triangular head, who had a talk show until Jay Leno blew him away)

Remember, learn sign language for I love you…

LoVe ya,

GloZell

Monday, April 23, 2007

Go Green!...

Happy Earth Day!

In line today was a real Native American. Chief Marvin L Swallow and His wife Hiroko M. Swallow.
(Talk about Earth Day) They were so nice they hugged me and everything. It was like touching history. The Swallow's got a picture with Jay Leno and gave him sage and a rope to ward off negative energy. I think I have Native American in me also, my great great great grandparents were Black Foot. (All black people think they are part Native American. Go ahead ask the one you know from work, tell them I said it's okay)

My lunch came from the lovely Joanna Cunningham and her beautiful mother Toni Baughn. They told me I better say something nice about the people from Texas. Don’t Mess with Texas! I enjoyed meeting them.


I met this wonderful couple who loves Zola( the Production Manager for the show )I think they are four score and seven years old. I love them!



If the Tonight Show with Jay Leno wants to save energy. They can start by cutting off Smitty’s microphone!

Dear Tonight Show Executives

Do you ever come to the show? I know it’s hard to break away from the golf course. I would love for you to show up at 8:00 AM and see how disheveled the gift shop merchandise is as soon as the doors open.

Also, the vending machine was actually full today but out of order. The bathrooms need an air freshener because someone sharted and when I walked in, it smelt like Garlic Gorilla.

I would love it if you could tear yourself away from your fancy drinks, restricted clubs, happy endings, etc. and show up unannounced to the show. Sit in line, watch the show and reward the people who work hard and put fire under the ones who don’t. (Mostly the ones you have hooked up because they are related to you)

The people who do their job should get rewarded just as much as the ones who pretend to. Good workers don’t want to do their best because no one cares. (At this point, it’s you)

Take care and God Bless!

In the Ice cold studio, I sat next to my friend John Melendez. It’s a little scary sitting next to him. I’m always afraid John is going to have one of his tic fits while he is holding his cup and splash diet soda on my weave. Glo Zell to the No!

Bob Perlo the "Warm up comedian". I like the page on the stage thing. I see you are being creative. Please contiune to make up for the first six months of my "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" life.( Bob remember those days, back when you had yellow frosted hair)

Guests:

Zach Braff from the NBC hit show "Scrubs". He is so nerdy! I love him! Zach gave his autograph to Jillian who stood in line with her girls, since 6:00 AM for tickets just to see him. Thanks Zach and the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno"!


Pat Summit. The number one woman’s basketball coach. I didn’t see her due to the fact her outfit was the same color as her skin. Go Tennessee!

Joss Stone was the musical guest. I didn’t know that child was white!( Shut the front door) Joss has a great sound and she wasn’t wearing shoes. (White people love to walk around without shoes, I don’t understand?)

Remember, plant a tree…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Glo-mazing Grace…

Do you have a picture of Jay Leno, or anyone who works on the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno"? Let me know, so I can put it on my blog.

In line, I met a terrific guy named Dan, from Minneapolis. He works on planes, has a hot wife, and two beautiful kids. Dan wants to buy a luxury car this year. I am very happy he got a picture with Jay.

Roberta gave Bob, the warm up guy plenty of time to get people off the stage before the show started. Roberta if you wear tight jeans we won’t even miss Mike. Sorry Roberta if I gave you too much flack yesterday. (Get it, Roberta Flack…I am so funny )

Debbie, a producer/cue card writer. If you want to know who keeps taking your red tic-tacs that you keep under your writing desk, I have a list, just let me know girlfriend.

In the ice-cold studio. I sat next to John Melendez. He always asks how my blog is going. I tell him fine. The first time I was flattered, because I didn’t know he even knew about my blog. Then John says, on his own, "I’ve got to read it". "I promise I’m going to read it tonight". This is like ground hogs day because it happens every time I sit next to him.

John Melendez is a l...l…l…liar. He should be happy someone is writing about his over paid behind. I googled his name and MY blog came up. I’m the only one in the world writing about him. Ed Hall gets more hits as the announcer for the show, than John does.

The Tonight Show band has learned some new songs this month. How was it getting together for a rehearsal after all these years?

Guests:

Tim Russert. The last time Tim was on the show was when Pamela Anderson was on. Tim asked Jay, "Where’s the starlet?" As ugly and fat as Tim Russert is, he better be happy the stars stayed on the city backdrop behind Jay. Okay.

Eddie Izzard was funny. I am thankful for that, because he didn’t talk about anything important. He explained how British people say things vs Americans. He has such small little feet.

Three Days Grace. The band had a great sound and they were good. But, they started off by saying that our hearts and prayers go out to the VT victims and their families, then they sing a song about "I rather feel pain than anything at all, I like pain and I like it rough". I thought that was a stupid song to sing after bringing up the VT Massacre.


Remember, a man’s word is his bond…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Friday, March 30, 2007

John Melendez is very hot GloZell…

John Melendez use to be a fat blob but now he runs 5 1/2 miles five days a week to keep his new hot bod in shape. I should take my big black behind with him. I will, right after I finish all of my Girl Scout cookies. (Darn those brats) Today John went running, and was caught in a huge brush fire. (Oh, no, who’s qualified to lift a cup at Jay) He had to run to get away from the smoke. John was stuttering "H… H… Help I’m a celebrity get me out of h… h… here!" John is always very nice to me.

John Melendez’s wife is Jewish. I was Jewish once. I know a lot of Jewish people. I was invited to a Passover meal. All Jewish people should be skinny. It was three hours before we could eat! And when we did, it was to dip a piece of parsley into some salt water. All I could think of was taking the hot sauce out of my purse, grabbing the hard-boiled egg off the table ,and making a run for it. When we did eat the food was great. Being a Christian, I value the traditions of the chosen people of which my faith sprung out of. I guess, I’m too greedy to be a Jew.

In line, we almost died of all the smoke. Ashes were blowing on us. It really got bad. Some of the pages and security guards had on masks. Hello, we didn’t get one.

I met Diane and Joel and their son Jason. In 2004, Jason was picked out of the line to tell his most embarrassing moment on the show. It wasn’t until he walked into the studio before someone realized that he was 14. Jason goes to North Central Indianapolis High School, the same one Smitty attended. How lucky is he!

I also met Andy, from Indianapolis, who tried to teach me the card game, Euchre. It’s popular in the mid-west and that’s where it should stay. Yee-haw

The Pages did the best job I have ever witnessed. They all had smiles, and it seemed like they liked being there. I know that they have to answer stupid questions every day, but you are the only ones the guests get to talk to. People take pictures with me. They should feel the same about you! Jason K. I felt like you put a great effort into turning things around. Great job Jason K. I enjoyed your witty banter with the guests, you even made me laugh.

Friendliest new page award goes to Scott and Deshuan. (Sorry if I spelled the black male page name wrong)

All hail Jeff the King of Wardrobe. The cameraman who always wears sport socks with loafers has been made anew. He was wearing beautiful sneakers! Jeff, I think it would be great if you had your own segment, making over a guest on the show. Move over, Queer Eye. I hope you producers are reading this, like Debbie, Bob, and the one who is pregnant Tracy. (I don’t know the rest) It will work. After Jay is dressed, Jeff can grab a guest. There is only so many times a lint brush needs to be run over Jay’s suit. Jeff is talented. Use him!

I caught a Tonight Show with Jay Leno travel mug! I will travel just to use it. Thanks, Bobby!

I’m losing it. I think Smittys drum, which now has his face on it, was smirking at me during the whole show. I’m afraid to look at it because if it winks at me, I will freak.

Guests:

Amy Poehler from the movie "Blades of Glory". I know, Amy, that your bra has Strawberry Shortcake on it, but you still need to wear it. It looked like your nipples were trying to free themselves. I’m going to need you to cross your heart.

Rick(y) Schroder looks the same as he did 20 years ago. (Next)

Ozomatli, was the musical group. They look like Angelina Jolie’s children all grown up. It was very multicultural. I liked them, they were different and the music was fun.


Remember, If you’re going to consume happiness, produce happiness…


LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Thursday, March 01, 2007

GloZell is Korny…

In the 8:00 AM line, I again met Sergio. The last time Sergio was at the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jay signed a copy of Jay’s children’s book "If Roast Beef could fly " during one of the breaks.

Wolfman and Sergio raced to the line to be first. Sergio won.

Wolfman collects two stacks of tickets and a cue card after the shows he goes to. I wonder if he is trying to build a clubhouse? (If you build it, Jay will come).

Tomorrow is the last day for three NBC pages. Nasim M. who will be working for Universal Pictures and is best friends and roommates with the page Ashley. Nasim has another friend name Chris who should be "beneficial", he is hot! Alexis (Zoo) who is a very talented actor and musician and Jordan who doesn’t want a job, he did the page thing to pacify his parents who have clout and are rich. I will miss y’all

In line, Sergio and I met an albino who said he was in the band Korn. We didn’t believe him.

John Melendez gave me his Coke. I know it’s because he didn’t want to drik it all, because he use to be fat and he had to put something in the cup. I felt special!

Guests:

Howie Mandel. I think he comes on the show when there is no one else. Howie told everyone to look under their chair to get a Deal or no Deal game. The only lady who had a game under her chair didn’t find it in time. (No deal)

At a spa under waxing, you can order the "Howie Mandel". My first Bikini wax I had to do here in California was a disaster. My client went from wanting a bikini to a Brazilian, which I had never done. I thought to myself, does this woman realize where I have to put this hot wax? I ended up hot gluing her Va Jy Jy shut. She paid, tipped me and never came back.

To this day I wondered how she unglued it, and went to the bathroom that day.

Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC’s, How to catch a predator. (I think I met him when I was 14)

The musical guest was Korn they rocked! The set was visually stimulating. They used so many drums and colorful people, except one, the albino guy singing with the band.

Remember, Look pass the complexion to see a reflection…


LoVe Ya,

GloZell