GloZell the Magificent!...

My vacation is coming to and end! I traveled to Carson Park on Bob Hope Drive. It's right in front of the Ellen show entrance.

One of my favorite characters Johnny Carson did on the Tonight Show was "Carnac the Magnificent".

I am getting my monies worth out of this, Xhilaration extra large bathing suit from Target that does not fit! Maybe you would like to buy a bikini just like mine, click here to get yours!

I figured that it just as easy to tell myself that I'm hot as it is to say I'm ugly. So GloZell is hot! If other people don't think so that's fine. I don't have to join in and bring myself down. Life it way to short! I got a new attitude! Now it's your turn!

I'm just as hot as Tyra Banks!(okay, now you are pushing it girlfriend)
I should go see the top three movies, while I'm on vacation.



SPIDERMAN-3

SHREK THE THIRD





PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN "At World's End".



I think I got some Pirate's Booty

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno(aka GloZell's Boo) repeat is with Jamie Foxx and Jimmy Fallon. One of the funniest shows!

Jimmy does a political song about a car wash, it's crazy funny!

Jamie's best friend is Johnny Mack who is my friend also. Johnny is the hardest working man. He has a life story that should be on the big screen. I love Johnny with his locks. Johnny works hard and plays hard.Johnny Mack is a incredible writer.

Jamie Foxx is a Gentleman/Ladies Man. I'm sure that he got one or two numbers while he was at the show. Ladies don't think too much of it. Just like a song from the hit movie Jamie was in "DREAMGIRLS" it's "One Night Only".(Okay)

Guests:

Jamie Foxx was funny as always.

Jimmy Fallon very funny also.

Why would anyone put Jamie Foxx on a show then make him watch another comedian sing and play an instrument? That was interesting booking.

I guess it was cheaper to have Jimmy Fallon play instead of Jamie. Just put them on different nights. I thought it was a little Hmm….

You book two comedians on the same show, then make the BLACK one with an OSCAR who can SING and play any KEYBOARD go first without performing. So that the BLACK has to move over and watch the WHITE one SING and play the GUITAR. Things that make me go Hmmm..

The Oscar winner Jamie Foxx had to free lance with the Tonight Show Band.

Have Jamie go first. That’s fine. Just don’t have someone who is too similar, as the next guest. I have never seen two cooks, sports players, animal trainers, guest bands etc. on the same show. ( I hope you read that with attitude)

Peter Bjorn and John was the musical guest. I don’t think the girl knew to sing to the audience. They sang to each other. It was different and strange. It was cool.

Glo-2-D-2

I'm still swimming without water.

I shouldn't be left unattended. I am running amuck! To entertain myself, I decided to pretend that I was C3PO from the movie "Star Wars" next to the R2-D2 mailbox in front of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. (Hey Lukas, I am your mother.)



I also posed in front of the big NBC sign. (I wonder If I can return this non-fitting extra large bathing suit from Target that cost 14.99. It does not have enough material for a extra large behind)



I'm going to start my own swimsuit magazine and call it. ZELLULITE (I am a genius!)

My boyfriend drove through a red light by accident last night, but I lived to blog again... I thought my heart was going to stop before his car did.



We have been together 9 months. ( I didn't tell my mother he was white, I told her he was light skined, don't you tell her either...)



We are at the middle of the week! Jay and his wonderful staff will be back soon. Until then please watch tonight's show. Evanescence was entertaining!

Guests:

Pitch to America. Some lady is marketing tape, that women use to push their breast up. It looked painful and stupid, but it sold. I'm going to go to Office Depot and market some post it stickies to write on your underwear and make millions. (I'm a genius)

Sandra Bullock was in a skin tight dress. She looked stunning. Sandra's hair was okay in the front, but it looked like her stylist went on strike before they finished the back. It looked like a rat's nest back there.

Andy Richter, a traditional, funny chubby comedian. NBC loves him, I think he has been on three failed shows but maybe his new show will be the winner. I'm sure they will pair him up with a hot girl that he could never get in real life. Typical!

Evanescence was the musical group. I heard the lead girl was a real pill back stage, but she was good. Her voice is strong. I like Evanescence, but all of their music sounds similar. She is very pretty in a soft Goth way.

Remember, let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me... true and cheesy, I couldn't think of anything else.

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

GloZell Will enjoy her vacation!

This is me with my hat on a rock in my extra large bikini that does not fit from Target. I refuse to buy size 2x.



I enjoyed reading Jay's book "Leading With My Chin". It cracks me up.



I have to break out of my shell. I always wear jackets and try to cover up. I don't have Celebrity Fit Club. No matter what I do, I will always be an before picture. I just can't beat myself up about it. Who cares! Be Free!

CHANGING THE SUBJECT:

Jay Leno loves cars!



My friend Cassey has an 1951 Pontiac which he had for a year before his wife found out.



Watch the animated movie "Cars" by Disney Pixar. Jay Leno plays the car "Jay Limo"!That's great! They captured Jay's beautiful blue eyes.



The Tonight Show with Jay Leno is still on vacation but the rerun with Will Ferrell is worth watching twice!

Guests:

The lead singer from the music group "The Flaming Lips" did a bit for the show. I would rather the show bring back "Iron Jay", or someother character Jay use to do.

Will Ferrell did not disappoint. I love him. I love him. I love him. His outfit was tight and had holes in it.I could see his red briefs through a hole in the back. He is so funny. Pleasego see his movie "Blades Of Glory" I know it looks stupid, but it’s a good,stupid, funny.

Sen. Joe Biden… Who is running for president, was so clean and articulate. To bad, he is not going to win. (Next)

Paolo Nutini was the musical guest. I promise I didn’t understand what this guy was singing. I truly thought he was stoned, and speaking another language.I managed to make out something about shoes. The band had a great sound and if they had an interpreter, I would have enjoyed it more.

GloZell uncelebrity unfit club.

(photo from a previous hike)

Fightin' Mad Mary made me walk Runyon Canyon. I was happy when I thought I was at the top. But then we kept going. I was still mad at her when I finally reached a bench at the top.
Fightin mad Mary's husband took pictures on his cell phone. (Thanks)One of my braids fell out. I was up there to lose weight not my hair!

Since it's time to tighten my weave, I didn't want to go swimming this holiday, so I went to the NBC Burbank studio and enjoyed myself.
Can you tell I miss my Jay! I had to use my Tonight Show with Jay Leno Ticket to cover my crack because this Target Extra Large bikini wasn't large enough!

( The bikini was $14.99. That's a lot of money for something that don't fit.)

I also went Hollywood Walk of Fame to check on Jay's Star. It's right in front of Guinness World Record Museum. People walk on his star and they tried to walk on me!



Tonight is a repeat but worth watching twice.

Guests:

Ross the Intern. The editing on his piece was terrific. Ross always delivers, so I focus on other things. Ross is the best. I feel sorry for him on Celebrity Fit Club because everyone is so angry and mean. They curse and fight, but not Ross. Ross is a great guy.

Cameron Diaz always talks about burping or peeing or something.(Something's not right) I don’t think Justin Timberlake misses that poo talk. Cameron Diaz cracked herself up and had a great time. She is promoting the movie "SHREK The Third". Cameron looked great! Jay liked her hat.

6 Year Old Piano Prodigy Ethan Bortnick was so cute. I thought it was going to be boring but he was so honest and sweet. Everyone loved him.

Nelly Furtado is one of the most beautiful women in the world. (Which is good because I wasn’t into the song she sang ). She looked amazing. Her jeans were tight and she has a little meat on her bones.

Remember, make some progress every single day…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

GloZell’s husband took everything!..

Please read blogs 1. (GloZell’s husband? which is in April’s archives) 2. (GloZell and husband move to California) 3. (GloZell and her mother –in-law) this is four I think?

He hands me the divorce papers. (What? the brother has lost is ever loving mind) I told him I would sign them in a week because I think his is under the evil influence of his mother. Doc kept saying that he would never date again! He will never get married again!
(Duh, no one is going to put up with what I put up with. The "Thing")

Doc said. GloZell you will not make it in California without me. You have only ever lived in Florida with your parents. How are you going to get around? You get lost all of the time! No one is ever going to love you and you might as well go back to Florida today!

I said nothing…

I think somewhere in his mother’s mind she was by herself and that Doc was a man that she could never get. So she poisoned his mind that week I wasn’t there. Also Doc was feeling guilt and lost over his father.

Doc packed, he had an found an apartment. He had money so it was easy! Doc was making about 100 thousand dollars a year. (He did lots of surgeries and he was one of the best) I never thought to take half of his money because this would just drag on and I knew that Doc was going to wake up and realize that he lost his father and got a divorce in the same month. I didn’t want to add to that.

I told him to take what ever he wanted. All I want is the Dog and the cat. Doc never walked the dog (Zellmen) and he hated the cat. (BuTu’)

When I met Doc, I had a cat that my sister gave me. A kitten just showed up in our yard in Florida one day. My sister Dee dropped breadcrumbs and it followed her into the house. Dee gave the kitten to me for my birthday July 30th. It was my favorite gift ever!

When I met Doc, he asked me if I wanted a dog. (No thanks I have a kitten). Doc’s mother had a black and white dog that passed away. So Doc bought her the same breed of dog the same week. Doc’s mother said it was too soon so Doc was stuck with this dog.

(I didn’t know that until after the wedding) Doc offers to fix my kitten for free. (Okay thanks) The kitten died during the surgery and he told me right before my set. (I use to be Storm from the X-men at Universal Studios Florida) So I would cry during break and get it together before set.

When I got home, I told my parents that Doc killed my cat! They said don’t fault Doc for that. Don’t cancel the wedding. These things happen. Doc offered my dad the dog. My dad loved that dog. I guess Doc felt bad and one day he brought me a kitten that jumped all over the place. (I didn’t ask for the cat or the dog) I said nothing.

My parents said that Doc is trying his best to make it up to you. We had a funeral for my cat (Boo Boo Kitty) Doc had her in a box, gift wrapped with a bow. We buried her in my parent’s back yard. (I live in the twilight zone)

When my father died (six months after the wedding,) I vowed to take care of that dog! And even though I didn’t want too I loved the cat also.

(In California) Doc said fine. I told Doc we could separate for as long as he liked. Just think about what you are doing. (Think without that devil you call mother) I will not live feeling like you just going to pull out divorce papers on me when you feel like it. So if you are going that’s it. No coming back.

Doc left. Weeks later he called and said that he misses the animals and he wants them for a weekend. (Fine) I was never mad at Doc. I had to go into how do I stay in California Mode.

He picked up the animals and brought them back. I had to move out of that apartment because I didn’t want to have to work just to keep the apartment. I had to feed a cat and dog and Doc didn’t help at all. I didn’t ask. I needed a cheaper place.

I found someone who would take the animals while I was moving. Doc said that no man is going to take care of my animals. I asked Doc are you sure you want them? It’s going to take me a week or so to move.

He said that I’m their father and I will take care of them. (He is a Veterinarian) The dog-jumped in Doc’s SUV. But the cat was holding on to me for dear life. I kept telling the cat that I’m going to be with you soon. When I finally got the cat in the cage. She just turned around with her back towards me.

It hunts me to this day.

Doc texted me that he is keeping the Dog and he gave away the cat to a good home. (I’m crying now as I write this because that’s all I had left). I didn’t ask for money, I gave him the 15 thousand-dollar ring back. We hadn’t been in California 6 months yet.

I didn’t want to go to court or anything because who was going to give me the animals over a veterinarian. All I asked for was the animals. I didn’t want to be limited to his money or his pain and suffering. His mother and his friends couldn’t ever say that I married him for his money. I[m proud of that!

I hope BuTu’ (my cat) is in a good home and my dog (who my father loved) is well. I would give anything to see them. Even a picture. Doc never answered my calls! I would beg just to see them through the car window.

I stopped calling…

I started going to the comedy clubs every night until…

To be continued…

I will be bloging this week. I couldn’t afford rent and flying home to Florida. Thanks for reading.

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Glo, its Jay’s Quinceañera!...

Happy 15 years on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Can’t wait for 20.

In was in line at 7:30 AM for tickets. A man was yelling into his phone. "She won’t sell me the house! She is not getting my daughter! Ect.

(Here we are breaking bread together)

John Ph.D. is going through a bitter divorce. He is a Professor of Communication at a college in Florida.

His wife (who John said was too media ignorant to find this blog) won’t sell him their house, which he is offering more than what it’s worth to her, so that their 3 year old daughter doesn’t have to move. He want’s custody.

His wife is a License Mental Health Counselor. John has been proven innocent of abuse to his wife. John fired his lawyer after he got his Tonight Show with Jay Leno Tickets.

And got a new lawyer before the show started.

I also met:

Susan who was trimming her hair in line. Susan is divorce after 23 years of marriage and now she has a great boyfriend who is going to take her up in a hot air balloon.Her sister Debby was fired from her job after 15 years because her boss is short and he started dating a female cop who didn’t like her. Debby lives next door to her sister Susan in Chatsworth California. Debby divorced after 17 years and is now on the market.
Susan and Debby started a fashion dog on-line service. www.blisspets.com.

Sean and Joe who likes the guitar playing of Stuttering John! (What!) They said that John Melendez is a great guitar player and they like his album. (I have heard it all!)(Sean, GloZell and Joe the Rocket Scientist)

Sean makes and sells political apparel by day, and delivers pizzas by night. (Hey do what you got to do) www.politicsunusual.net

(Why did they have me hold up the BLACK t-shirt? That's a pretty political statement!)

Joe (graduate of MIT) works for NASA and goes to the National Board Game Convention three times a year. He is literally a Rocket Scientist. (That’s hot) Their mother Cathy is proud of both of them.

Bash Gupta originally from India, now lives in California. He watches Jay Leno every night but he prefers Johnny Carson. Bash was with his co-workers Silvia and Sandra.
Bash works for Burger King. His boss also owns 4 Popeye’s Chicken restaurants. John Ph.D. felt better after the Chicken.

Jay’s fans continue with Linda, Jenny Mikki and Rita. Rita got a picture with Jay in Merrillville Indiana and put the picture on a pin. Rita want’s Iron Jay back!


Guests:

Jay’s monologue had some hot jokes and some that missed.

The audience asked questions segment was great. Very funny. People like to see Jay do mock interviews, characters. Do more with Jay!

Dennis miller is a great guest. You never know what he is going to say and some of it has to censored. I don’t like him! I would NEVER pay to see him. He was booed off the stage at University of Florida’s Pep rally "The Gator Growl" when I was there.

Dennis has a gut, but has not changed his jacket size accordingly. Dennis had his jacket buttoned and when he sat, I heard the cries of his poor button holding on for dear life.

ROSS THE INTERN: He was hot. I’m going to ask him to be my baby’s momma!
He has lost weight on the show "Celebrity Fit Club" but not his humor. I only wish the best for him. Love Ross forever!I pray that all is well with your family ROSS.

Dennis kept trying to be funnier than Ross was, but he wasn’t’! (Ha) Dennis is getting old he kept repeating himself. He said that it was Jay’s 15 anniversary 3 times. Like we forgot. I wonder how Jay sits with Dennis all up his crack! Come up for air Dennis!

Dwight Yoakam! Susan and Debby have seen him 54 times. Dwight had on these tight rubber looking pants on. (His poor twigs and berries) Dwight was great as always! The way he plays his guitar, looks like a symbol for something else.

I wonder if that’s why John Melendez plays one?

Remember, the person you marry is not the person you divorce…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

GloZell needs a Bodyguard!...

Today I met:

In the 8:00 AM ticket line. An old guy asked me if I was the one who asked everyone in line where were they from the last time he was here. (Yes!) His name is Dodger Dave. Dave was the first person to get a ticket to The Tonight Show with Jay Leno 15 years ago.

(I don't know what game he was trying to referee)

I met him three months ago in the show line. He and his wife, talked, talked, talked. I told myself what’s the big deal GloZell just listen. They talked about the Dodgers and soup. At that, show his wife Alice started talking to Kevin (the bandleader) during Jay’s monologue. It was funny. Jay had to stop and talk to her.

Dodger Dave said that Mike S. (the stage manager) Bob Perlo (the warm up comedian) and Vicky R. (the singer) are always so nice to him and he has served them all peanuts at Dodgers Stadium.(Dave has worked there for 32 years)(He changed clothes)

Dodger Dave has his attack dog Spike to keep him company. His wife Alice died four weeks ago because of diabetes.

Dave bought a new car three weeks ago. (Okay)

I also met Bob, Barbara, Mathew and Laura Marshall from Montgomery Alabama.
Bob has such an outgoing personality.
Barbara just bought her jacket because she had a tiny bag of sequence attached to it.
The wild bunch were Bill and Philips Sampson from Huntsville Alabama, and Bob and Cindy Fischer from Bloomfield Hills Michigan. They bought me lunch! Thanks.

I also met Rene’e from Antioch California who left her family at Universal Studios to come see Jay. The doors opened early so she got her camera ready just in case Jay might walk outside.I could eat in the NBC bathroom today. It was spotless, and had a nice fresh feeling.
The Page Chris M. was good today.

Guests:

Pirates of the Caribbean Premier with a new correspondent was BOO! It was boring. I wanted to scream "Bring out an old lady and let her bake a pie"!

Bring back Iron Jay! Let him bake a pie!

Kevin Costner is so good looking. I think it’s great what technology can do. Kevin and his new wife just had his own grandchild.

Kevin’s energy was low. Jay worked hard to make the interview interesting.

I don’t care because in the movie "The Body Guard" he was The Man. I loved the way Kevin’s character (white male) who took good care of Whitney Houston’s character (black female) Loved it.

The only problem with "The Bodyguard" was the fact that Whitney’s character would do a concert then just flop on the bed in her costume, and Kevin’s character would cover her up. Concert after concert! Night after Night!

Whitney’s character never took a bath throughout the whole movie! She didn’t even walk by a bathroom. The only time water hit her stank behind was when she jumped in the pool. I felt sorry for the chlorine.

That’s the real reason why the Bodyguard had to leave, and why her sister tried to kill her. She was funky and they couldn’t take it anymore!

The sequel should be called "The Right Guard".

Jordin Sparks the American Idol winner. Okay white people, the girl is bi-racial. However, the rule YOU made up, is if someone is three quarters black they are considered black. So, we get her! (Yes) Now then, we will give you suicidal Hale Berry, and skanky Mariah Carrie. Thanks.

Daniel Tosh did stand up comedy! Thanks for the break from the unknown rock bands! Daniel was very funny I hope to see him again. Please buy whatever he was peddling!

Remember, be thankful that you can appreciate whatever the day will bring…

LoVe Ya,

GLoZell

Eureka! Glo got it...

Yesterday in the Jaywalking segment, a person reveled something to Jay that I had done also and not told anyone. The person felt like they were ready to tell that personal information about themselves on national TV! I woke up this morning realizing what the NBC little birdies has been trying to tell me! I GOT IT!

In line, I met Cathy and her son Ethan Maguire who is a student at the College of the Redwoods. They moved from Burbank to Eureka California. They arrived at 9:00AM to see Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Cathy assisted in the birth of her kittens.



David Markland form Blogging LA visited me in line. I was so honored. He has the best personality! Love Him to pieces!



In line, we got gifts advertising The Starters Wife staring Debra Messing from the cutest young ladies in pink and white. I think they use to be cheerleaders.





I also met Scott, Jan, and Bryce Britt from Shawnee, OK.

Jan uses an Insulin Pump. She use to give herself 4 to 10 shots a day and now one every three days. Insurance paid for most of her cost. The pump runs about 7 thousand dollars.

Jan has had diabetes since she was 9 years old. Because she was adopted, her parents didn’t have her family background. Doctors guessed until they finally checked her blood sugar. Jan eyesight is poor; she has had over 11 eye surgeries.

The pump is good for children. Jan remembers the doctors and Nurses giving her a list of all the things she can’t eat. (Mostly sugar) But with the pump, you can get insulin to control the amount of carbs you are going to eat. For more Info. ADA.ORG



When Jan gets back to Shawnee, she has to see a Nephrologist because her kidneys are failing. The Vitamins and medication she has to take for her diabetes are hard on her kidneys. Like Potassium and Lasix.

Jan and her husband Scott decided to not have children. Because Jan worked the midnight shift, she would get sick a lot, eating late, trying to regulate insulin. (Before the pump) Jan was throwing up her Birth Control Pills, and she became pregnant.



Through many scares and prayers, Bryce was born without being sick. Praise God!
One night when Brice was three, in the middle of the night he ran into his parents bedroom and started shaken his mother." Get up Mommy, Get Up! Scott woke up to find Jan unconscious. Her blood sugar was deathly low.

Brice told them, that a beautiful Angel told him that his mother was in trouble. Brice stills remembers that night and what the Angel looked liked.

I just can’t write everything Jan shared. This was the first time I thought I have to write a book. Her story hit home to me because my father died from diabetes. Things would have been different if he had an insulin pump.



Please pray that Jan, Scott, and Bryce are prepared for what God has planned for their lives. I pray that Jan Kidneys are healed and she doesn’t have to have pain and no more surgeries. I pray that in the name of Jesus.

A shout out if thanks to Baptist Hospital in Oklahoma City, and Dr. Shetty in Shawnee.

CHANGING THE SUBJECT

Someone plunged the woman’s middle bathroom stall at the NBC lobby. However, there is Doo doo still one the toilet. I do a lot of things for NBC but I stop at cleaning after someone has sharted on the commode 24 hr. ago. No one wants to sit on the doo doo stool.

Guest:

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger who was very funny. Arnold said that he had seen Paris Hilton’s movies and that She was an Action star also. He talked about health care and how expensive it is. His hands and his back are so big! He will be turning 60 soon. He looks great! It was a great interview!

Debra Messing from "Will and Grace". Debra didn’t have on De Bra. Her whole back showed down to her tailbone. Jay joked that she had the dress on backwards. It wouldn’t matter which way it was. Debra was rail thin and her bones were showing.
The only pair of boobs on the stage was Arnold’s.

Debra did say that actresses had to look, dress, and act a certain way. That’s why she is on the show. And I’m outside. You have to be willing to make sacrifices. Like starve to death.

Fiction Plane was the musical guest. (I hadn’t heard of them either) One was short, one was tall and one looked like Woody Harrelson. They were good.

Remember, God always has a plan…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

GloZell Takes A Ride...

Henry the mechanic across the street wants me to get over my fear of motorcycles. I don’t know how to ride a bicycle.

Tomas is the smog check guy he loves sunflower seeds and pretzels.

Almost everyday they give me their opinion of my blog. I can’t believe they give me their opinion of my opinion! I told them I don’t need you to do that. They said the Tonight Show don’t need me to it either. (Good point)

They didn’t like Maroon 5 outdoor concert yesterday. They said it was noise for the young people.

Dixie came to the show last week and today brought her mother who rides a bike 5 miles a day in the heat of Gilbert, Arizona. (Show off)Dixie has a son in the US Navel Academy where he has achieved the highest grades possible.

Jaston from Young Rosburg Oregon was chilling in the bushes.


Michelle wants to be a California NBC Page. Her major is Media Production at Quinnipiac University Hamden Ct. Michelle works hard for what she wants. Her parents are so proud. Michelle’s mom embarrassed her by telling me all the great things she has accomplished.Thanks Tony (head of security) who was very pleasant today. Today’s cop was so approachable that people took pictures of him. (That’s Great!)


After being outside five hours the woman's bathroom was overflowing before we walked in the door. Click here for all the nastiness and yes I really did take a photo of it.

Billy the Cig. Your act of generosity was greatly appreciated! Great Job!

Bob the Producer. You looked like Bob the builder in your hat today. Loved It! I auditioned for you for Last Comic Standing 2nd season. I knew it was bad when you rolled your eyes and dropped your head before I finished. A clip of my audition was used for the commercial that ran on NBC and Comedy Central. I was the one who pulled off my wig!

Guests:

Demi Moore. She looked amazing, as always. Demi had a picture of ex-hubby Bruce, fishing with her and husband Ashton… hmmm. Then she had a picture of herself putting lipstick on Ashton…hmm. I think they are FREAKY SWINGERS.

Judd Apatow had a picture of Jay, twenty years ago. Judd was funny and very inspirational. He was creative and worked hard for years! And it paid off!

Angelique Kidjo and Ziggy Marley was the musical guest. I didn’t understand a tingy ting ting. Angelique who is African got "Happy" and broke into dance. She was the only one not dressed like and African. I thought they should sing, "One Love, One White Guy". Watch the show and see the white Jamafrican.

Remember, send congratulatory notes…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell