Thanks Mr. Beam, and staff for putting my name on the list this week.
It’s my three-month anniversary, my boyfriend and I am going to eat Italian tonight. Jay Leno is Italian.
In the lobby was this woman with more eye make-up than Tammy Faye, and bright orange poofy hair. It looked like cotton candy. Her eyebrows were dyed orange, and she had orange lipstick on. This lady (If she was really a lady) was dressed all in black and was very pale. Her black jeans were so tight she had plumber’s crack going on. To make things worse, she was wearing clear plastic high heels. Her head rocked like Katharine Hepburn to the point you can hear her earrings jingle. She was a slap mess. I should be able to do Tonight Show make over’s. She looked like Texas Mafia.
Welcome new NBC pages. The pages are more diverse looking this time. Their is a very tall guy named Andre, an Indian or Mexican looking girl with thick eyebrows named Frida, and a good-looking Asian guy named Lee. It’s hard to find a good-looking Asian guy. Good-looking Asian women are easy to find, just ask my ex.
Sharon Stone still got it going on. Sharon has a hot body and was working some beautiful pink open toe heels with diamonds around the ankle. Jay was flirting with her the whole time.
Patricia Arquette is funny and cute. I guess she doesn’t mind the way her teeth look. I know she has made enough money to get them fixed. That’s right girl, don’t give in to Hollywood standards! Patricia talked about how her husband purposed to her. They were watching a silent movie and the waiter in the movie was her man. He held up cards that said" Patricia, will you marry me?
My boyfriend Richard and I can get married on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Our Pastor, Bob Bock and Jay Leno can marry us. Raven Simone’ can be my Matron of Honor, and my Opera singing sister DeOnzell and Dolly Parton can sing!
FUN FACT; Pastor Bob married one of our church members Bill Hayes, to his wife on the set of " Day’s of Our Lives" over 20yrs ago, and they are still married. They played husband and wife on the show and were married in real life. (Bill also wrote the song, Daniel Boone.)
Years later we can have children named JayZell and LenoZell… I’m a genius!
Vince Gill was the musical guest. He had just as many people in his band as in the audience. Okay, he had 14 people besides him playing along. At least 8 were unnecessary. They sounded good!
Ms. Vicky, Kevin, and Smitty (band members) took time to say hi to some old senile audience members. One of them decided during Jay monologue to get up and shake Kevin’s hand. Jay had to stop and ask "What was going on"?
After the show, one guy kissed Ms. Vicky on the head, (That’s when she left) and another one was passing out cards to get soup on Friday. He gave me a card and told me that Mary Hart loves his soup, and that Friday is Clam Chowder day. Where else can a sister have this much fun everyday! Wait! It gets better.
To top it off, Ms. I want to be Tammy Faye Lucy fell down on her arse. (Sound it out) Right in front of me. She was rolling trying to get up. (God wants me to talk about these things) I asked her if she need any help - she sharply said "No" I told Dan (a page who flirts with hot girls and has an nice foreign car) that she fell, and I stepped over her. It’s a good thing I’m tall, it took a big step because her hair was very high.
Remember, to follow your basic instincts…