My mother has been calling me asking why don’t you like black people? People have been calling me and telling me that you said that you don’t like black people.
That is not true, Gloria Jean Robinson Green. I wish she would read the blog herself before calling me all times of the night.
I was in the restaurant Uncle Andre’s B-B-Q in Studio City. Some of us musicians go there after church if we have go back and play later on. It takes about 2 hrs to get your food. It is so slow, but the ribs are great.
One day, these two black guys were in there. One was very good looking. His name was Shaqkobe. I thought he was joking because that was when Shaq and Kobe were playing together. He said no, that’s what he was named 27 years ago. I didn’t care - he was still hot. (See mother I said the black guy was hot)
He called months later, but I didn’t forget his name. We made plans to go out, but he cancelled them the day of. Whatever.
Months go by, and I’m in Ralph’s grocery store and I see Shaqkobe in line. He said, Glo I lost your phone number, I was moving; I don’t know what happed to it. Yes! He lost my number, of course he would have called me. I had it going on I was teaching at Bryman College at the time and had a nice apartment on Moorpark in Studio City, life was good.
Shaqkobe called after weeks and we made plans to go to the movies. It was a hot July month. I was in the valley, where it’s even hotter.
My phone rings its Shaqkobe! I was looking good, if I say so myself. Lots of T and A.
Shaqkobe looked different in the night light. What happened to the nice hair cut, and nice clothes?
Shaqkobe’s hair had grown out, and it looked like he tried to wet it with some curl spray or something; His hair was dripping at the ends. He had on a long sleeve yellow plaid shirt with blue pant that had an opposing pattern on them. I looked down and, oh my goodness!
The brother was wearing Uggs!
Every white girl in the world was wearing the snow boots Uggs at that time. Snow boots, it’s July… in California! They didn’t even look the right size. Shaqkobe stuffed his feet in some Uggs? I had to ask him, because it was hot outside and I didn’t’ know men wear Uggs? I didn’t know black people wear Uggs. He looked like a bonafide fool. Shaqkobe said that this was his style.
I was thinking I’ll just get through this date and that will be that. We get into his old junky car and as soon as he shut the door, the smell hit me like my grandmother would do if you talked to her while she was watching "The Price is right". It smelt like fresh pee.
I couldn’t breathe but I was trying to be polite. I asked is it all right if I break this window to get to some oxygen? Shaqkobe told me that his car was in the shop and that he was borrowing this one. On the way to the movies he was asking me about my apartment, how many rooms, if I lived alone, how long have I been teaching.
I told him I live by myself, it’s a one bedroom, I pay $1,020 a month. I asked him where does he live? He said he was in between homes. I thought to my self… if you are in between jobs that means you don’t have a job… so if you are between homes that means you are… oh my goodness! I ‘m dating a homeless man and I’m trapped in his moving bathroom.
We get to the movies and he tries to pay with his Ralph’s card. I thought I was going to die! I said you can’t pay the Movie Theater with your grocery card. I paid.
I was a little scared. I didn’t’ know my way around California yet and I needed him to take me back home.
I don’t remember the movie, but I remembered when he passed gas during it. I saw vapors like the Halls cough drops used in their commercials, and something dripped off his hair on me.
He finally took me home and had the nerve to want to come inside my apartment. He truly must have bumped his head twice. He looked crazy, and smelled like hot donkey.
I didn’t let him in, and I never went out with him again! Tune in next week for part 3…
Remember, say it loud, I’m black and I’m proud!…
LoVe Ya, (but not Shaqkobe)