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Saturday, March 31, 2007

Why GloZell is dating a white man… part 2

My mother has been calling me asking why don’t you like black people? People have been calling me and telling me that you said that you don’t like black people.

That is not true, Gloria Jean Robinson Green. I wish she would read the blog herself before calling me all times of the night.

I was in the restaurant Uncle Andre’s B-B-Q in Studio City. Some of us musicians go there after church if we have go back and play later on. It takes about 2 hrs to get your food. It is so slow, but the ribs are great.

One day, these two black guys were in there. One was very good looking. His name was Shaqkobe. I thought he was joking because that was when Shaq and Kobe were playing together. He said no, that’s what he was named 27 years ago. I didn’t care - he was still hot. (See mother I said the black guy was hot)

He called months later, but I didn’t forget his name. We made plans to go out, but he cancelled them the day of. Whatever.

Months go by, and I’m in Ralph’s grocery store and I see Shaqkobe in line. He said, Glo I lost your phone number, I was moving; I don’t know what happed to it. Yes! He lost my number, of course he would have called me. I had it going on I was teaching at Bryman College at the time and had a nice apartment on Moorpark in Studio City, life was good.

Shaqkobe called after weeks and we made plans to go to the movies. It was a hot July month. I was in the valley, where it’s even hotter.

My phone rings its Shaqkobe! I was looking good, if I say so myself. Lots of T and A.
Shaqkobe looked different in the night light. What happened to the nice hair cut, and nice clothes?

Shaqkobe’s hair had grown out, and it looked like he tried to wet it with some curl spray or something; His hair was dripping at the ends. He had on a long sleeve yellow plaid shirt with blue pant that had an opposing pattern on them. I looked down and, oh my goodness!

The brother was wearing Uggs!

Every white girl in the world was wearing the snow boots Uggs at that time. Snow boots, it’s July… in California! They didn’t even look the right size. Shaqkobe stuffed his feet in some Uggs? I had to ask him, because it was hot outside and I didn’t’ know men wear Uggs? I didn’t know black people wear Uggs. He looked like a bonafide fool. Shaqkobe said that this was his style.

I was thinking I’ll just get through this date and that will be that. We get into his old junky car and as soon as he shut the door, the smell hit me like my grandmother would do if you talked to her while she was watching "The Price is right". It smelt like fresh pee.

I couldn’t breathe but I was trying to be polite. I asked is it all right if I break this window to get to some oxygen? Shaqkobe told me that his car was in the shop and that he was borrowing this one. On the way to the movies he was asking me about my apartment, how many rooms, if I lived alone, how long have I been teaching.

I told him I live by myself, it’s a one bedroom, I pay $1,020 a month. I asked him where does he live? He said he was in between homes. I thought to my self… if you are in between jobs that means you don’t have a job… so if you are between homes that means you are… oh my goodness! I ‘m dating a homeless man and I’m trapped in his moving bathroom.

We get to the movies and he tries to pay with his Ralph’s card. I thought I was going to die! I said you can’t pay the Movie Theater with your grocery card. I paid.

I was a little scared. I didn’t’ know my way around California yet and I needed him to take me back home.

I don’t remember the movie, but I remembered when he passed gas during it. I saw vapors like the Halls cough drops used in their commercials, and something dripped off his hair on me.

He finally took me home and had the nerve to want to come inside my apartment. He truly must have bumped his head twice. He looked crazy, and smelled like hot donkey.

I didn’t let him in, and I never went out with him again! Tune in next week for part 3…

Remember, say it loud, I’m black and I’m proud!…

LoVe Ya, (but not Shaqkobe)

GloZell

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey GloZell it's me Dornell....nice blog....I see u have gained some weight? u still look great to me...take care....GOD is Love.... backwest95@yahoo if u ever just want to say hi

GloZell said...

I will contact you. I love you Dornell, you know you are one of the reasons why I'm dating a white man, and your story will come up soon. I truly enjoyed you and your family and I wished it could have worked out. People at church still ask about you and the kids.

Love always and I hope all is well and that you find someone who makes you happy...Yep I've gained weight, people feed me in the line all the time. Let me know when you and anyone you want would like to come to the show!

It will be great seeing you, you big tall good looking black man with size 15 shoes!

My white guy got me a jump rope and i'm going to jump before the show.
I will be taking a befor bathing suit shot so don't be grossed out!

Remember when we went walking once!Yep you left me in the dust!

I pray for you all the time. I truly wished it would have worked out, we had alot of fun. remember the time I made you go see a monk, and they served fish eyes.(lol) I don't know why you put up with me as long as you did.

God bless you always!


I wil love you always Dornell

GloZell

Anonymous said...

I will always Love u as well....I went to see the monk and ate the fish eyes 4 u....belive it or not....b 4 u I had been asked 2 get married 8 times and that was the 1st time I even thought it could happen....remember how much I sweeted when buying the ring...lol...lol...u are so full of joy and I wish u the best as well...I'm still waitting on some tickets when u hit it big

That's still no reason 2 date white men but if thats whats u happy....go 4 it...u deserve as much happiness as u give...my heart..home...and arms will always have a place 4 u...even if u have gained weight which u always said will never happen...lol..lol..lol
God is Love and I Love u.

Peace & Blessings
(((1)))
1-Life
1-Love
1-GOD

Fightin' Mad Mary said...

Dornell, you wrote-

"I see u have gained some weight?u still look great to me"

that just might be reason number 3 that GloZell is dating white men.

Anonymous said...

Hey, girl. This is your cousin Nickie. What is up with you and Dornell? From the comments the two of you are making back and forth, there is something still there. Can't wait to hear why that didn't work out. I haven't given up on black men. I just am not dating anyone right now. Could I get something other than a gold-tooth fool, an old man, or a stalker? I'm a decent-looking womom in my mid-thirties. What is the deal? Girl, remember that police officer you gave a hard time at the club New Year's? Why won't he go away???? I will tell you the details another time, but I saw where he emailed you and me inviting us to one of his fraternity's functions. I politely asked him to take me off of his list. This is the stuff I get. He was trying to holler at YOU, but won't just leave me alone. I call him "John Tha Dog" in my phone so when he calls, I know NOT to answer. I deleted his number too soon before and kept answering his calls. Tell me this is not the situation with Dornell!!!

Anonymous said...

Mary....she's datting white men because she is crazy...not because of me and 2 u Kickie....Hell naw I'm nothing like that and to who ever....I will always love GloZell

Anonymous said...

1 more thing...i have your tax info and check...holla.... backwest95@yahoo.com

GloZell said...

Dornell you are the #1 reason I am dating a white man! You are the 1-10 reasons I am dating a white man. So I'm crazy! I'm the one who's crazy, are you kidding me! You have got to be kidding! I don't have enough blog to talk about you!

I know you must be kidding if not you truly need HELP! Let me know when I can pick up my tax stuff it's not like I can call you.(lol)

Cuz Nicky, child I have to prepare myself and figure out how to edit the crazyness Dornell put me through. I have an Image that I try to mantain and I have to figue out what I am truly going to allow myself to say! I'll put it like this Dornell is my Country Poet.

That cop was funny, I knew I was leaving to go back to California. He still calls you...ha ha ha!Can't wait to hang with your wild self again. Got to go my wonderfu white man is cooking me dinner.

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Anonymous said...

Cuz. Nickie again.

You know you are off the chain with this blog. TOOOOO funny. I'm not the only one in your family who reads it. Keep it up.

Oh, my!!! If Dornell is your "Kountry Poet" then, WOW. Words escape me. Dornell I will pray for you, too. Not only do you need prayer, but you need counseling. I REALLY can't wait to hear this.

Anonymous said...

I can not get over the traveling toilet. that is just NASTY. girl I would have thrown up and told him that was his gift for taking me out. SESSY CARAMEL

GloZell said...

Sessy C. You are so right! That is just crazy I know! Thanks for your input.



GloZell

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Creativekadar said...

That Dornell J is beyond crazy! Keep praying for his crazy azz