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Saturday, March 31, 2007

Why GloZell is dating a white man… part 2

My mother has been calling me asking why don’t you like black people? People have been calling me and telling me that you said that you don’t like black people.

That is not true, Gloria Jean Robinson Green. I wish she would read the blog herself before calling me all times of the night.

I was in the restaurant Uncle Andre’s B-B-Q in Studio City. Some of us musicians go there after church if we have go back and play later on. It takes about 2 hrs to get your food. It is so slow, but the ribs are great.

One day, these two black guys were in there. One was very good looking. His name was Shaqkobe. I thought he was joking because that was when Shaq and Kobe were playing together. He said no, that’s what he was named 27 years ago. I didn’t care - he was still hot. (See mother I said the black guy was hot)

He called months later, but I didn’t forget his name. We made plans to go out, but he cancelled them the day of. Whatever.

Months go by, and I’m in Ralph’s grocery store and I see Shaqkobe in line. He said, Glo I lost your phone number, I was moving; I don’t know what happed to it. Yes! He lost my number, of course he would have called me. I had it going on I was teaching at Bryman College at the time and had a nice apartment on Moorpark in Studio City, life was good.

Shaqkobe called after weeks and we made plans to go to the movies. It was a hot July month. I was in the valley, where it’s even hotter.

My phone rings its Shaqkobe! I was looking good, if I say so myself. Lots of T and A.
Shaqkobe looked different in the night light. What happened to the nice hair cut, and nice clothes?

Shaqkobe’s hair had grown out, and it looked like he tried to wet it with some curl spray or something; His hair was dripping at the ends. He had on a long sleeve yellow plaid shirt with blue pant that had an opposing pattern on them. I looked down and, oh my goodness!

The brother was wearing Uggs!

Every white girl in the world was wearing the snow boots Uggs at that time. Snow boots, it’s July… in California! They didn’t even look the right size. Shaqkobe stuffed his feet in some Uggs? I had to ask him, because it was hot outside and I didn’t’ know men wear Uggs? I didn’t know black people wear Uggs. He looked like a bonafide fool. Shaqkobe said that this was his style.

I was thinking I’ll just get through this date and that will be that. We get into his old junky car and as soon as he shut the door, the smell hit me like my grandmother would do if you talked to her while she was watching "The Price is right". It smelt like fresh pee.

I couldn’t breathe but I was trying to be polite. I asked is it all right if I break this window to get to some oxygen? Shaqkobe told me that his car was in the shop and that he was borrowing this one. On the way to the movies he was asking me about my apartment, how many rooms, if I lived alone, how long have I been teaching.

I told him I live by myself, it’s a one bedroom, I pay $1,020 a month. I asked him where does he live? He said he was in between homes. I thought to my self… if you are in between jobs that means you don’t have a job… so if you are between homes that means you are… oh my goodness! I ‘m dating a homeless man and I’m trapped in his moving bathroom.

We get to the movies and he tries to pay with his Ralph’s card. I thought I was going to die! I said you can’t pay the Movie Theater with your grocery card. I paid.

I was a little scared. I didn’t’ know my way around California yet and I needed him to take me back home.

I don’t remember the movie, but I remembered when he passed gas during it. I saw vapors like the Halls cough drops used in their commercials, and something dripped off his hair on me.

He finally took me home and had the nerve to want to come inside my apartment. He truly must have bumped his head twice. He looked crazy, and smelled like hot donkey.

I didn’t let him in, and I never went out with him again! Tune in next week for part 3…

Remember, say it loud, I’m black and I’m proud!…

LoVe Ya, (but not Shaqkobe)

GloZell

Friday, March 30, 2007

John Melendez is very hot GloZell…

John Melendez use to be a fat blob but now he runs 5 1/2 miles five days a week to keep his new hot bod in shape. I should take my big black behind with him. I will, right after I finish all of my Girl Scout cookies. (Darn those brats) Today John went running, and was caught in a huge brush fire. (Oh, no, who’s qualified to lift a cup at Jay) He had to run to get away from the smoke. John was stuttering "H… H… Help I’m a celebrity get me out of h… h… here!" John is always very nice to me.

John Melendez’s wife is Jewish. I was Jewish once. I know a lot of Jewish people. I was invited to a Passover meal. All Jewish people should be skinny. It was three hours before we could eat! And when we did, it was to dip a piece of parsley into some salt water. All I could think of was taking the hot sauce out of my purse, grabbing the hard-boiled egg off the table ,and making a run for it. When we did eat the food was great. Being a Christian, I value the traditions of the chosen people of which my faith sprung out of. I guess, I’m too greedy to be a Jew.

In line, we almost died of all the smoke. Ashes were blowing on us. It really got bad. Some of the pages and security guards had on masks. Hello, we didn’t get one.

I met Diane and Joel and their son Jason. In 2004, Jason was picked out of the line to tell his most embarrassing moment on the show. It wasn’t until he walked into the studio before someone realized that he was 14. Jason goes to North Central Indianapolis High School, the same one Smitty attended. How lucky is he!

I also met Andy, from Indianapolis, who tried to teach me the card game, Euchre. It’s popular in the mid-west and that’s where it should stay. Yee-haw

The Pages did the best job I have ever witnessed. They all had smiles, and it seemed like they liked being there. I know that they have to answer stupid questions every day, but you are the only ones the guests get to talk to. People take pictures with me. They should feel the same about you! Jason K. I felt like you put a great effort into turning things around. Great job Jason K. I enjoyed your witty banter with the guests, you even made me laugh.

Friendliest new page award goes to Scott and Deshuan. (Sorry if I spelled the black male page name wrong)

All hail Jeff the King of Wardrobe. The cameraman who always wears sport socks with loafers has been made anew. He was wearing beautiful sneakers! Jeff, I think it would be great if you had your own segment, making over a guest on the show. Move over, Queer Eye. I hope you producers are reading this, like Debbie, Bob, and the one who is pregnant Tracy. (I don’t know the rest) It will work. After Jay is dressed, Jeff can grab a guest. There is only so many times a lint brush needs to be run over Jay’s suit. Jeff is talented. Use him!

I caught a Tonight Show with Jay Leno travel mug! I will travel just to use it. Thanks, Bobby!

I’m losing it. I think Smittys drum, which now has his face on it, was smirking at me during the whole show. I’m afraid to look at it because if it winks at me, I will freak.

Guests:

Amy Poehler from the movie "Blades of Glory". I know, Amy, that your bra has Strawberry Shortcake on it, but you still need to wear it. It looked like your nipples were trying to free themselves. I’m going to need you to cross your heart.

Rick(y) Schroder looks the same as he did 20 years ago. (Next)

Ozomatli, was the musical group. They look like Angelina Jolie’s children all grown up. It was very multicultural. I liked them, they were different and the music was fun.


Remember, If you’re going to consume happiness, produce happiness…


LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Thursday, March 29, 2007

GloZell’s New Career…

I received an e-mail inviting me to go to career day at Charles W. Barrett Elementary School. I responded yes. On the way to the school, I realize that I don’t know what career they want me to talk about. I’ve had many. I get to the school and there's a sign that said "Welcome Glo Zell Actor/Singer with The Jay Leno Show."

I have no idea who recommended me for this, or how they got my name. I didn’t know anybody there.


Oh My! I stood there looking at the sign. What am I going to do? They think I’m Vicky the lady who sings on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Do black people watch the show? I told them I was independent of NBC, and that I’m out there to have fun, and to write a blog about it. I thanked Principal Precious Robinson.(No really, that is her name...Principal Precious)

After hearing the second graders talk about their hard times in life and how they were going to go to college someday, I knew I couldn’t leave. I sat next to the first black this and the first black that. I felt so stupid for being there. The only black people who were missing were Oprah and Dr. Martin Luther King. I went to the classrooms and talked about the show, and what I do. I did some comedy, and they liked me.

I told them that I have met hundreds of people in the line, at the Tonight Show and not once has anyone said anything bad about Jay Leno. A little girl asked me who was Jay Leno. (They didn’t know who Jay was but they still enjoyed me!)

In the very short line today (the studio wasn’t full) I met Jon and Talon who got a picture with Jay.

Jon works for Cox Communication and Talon does illustrations for fantasy games. Mary stopped by from MTV on her lunch break and took pictures. Love her.

I also met Gary Bennett who lovesHooters restaurant, and his beautiful companion Marsha Hass,(in the photo below) who is a retired dance coach. They love to travel the world.

The show line up seemed like it was going to be boring. As you can see from this photo below, very few people showed up. Mary came by and took this shot about 30 minutes before we all lined up to go into the studio. Maybe if they had announced that TWO legends PLUS Ross the Intern were going to be on the show, I think more people would have shown up. It turned out to be one of the best shows.

To the female page who always does her hair, and takes time to fix herself up everyday. Hats off to you. You inspire me to get it together I don’t know who you do it. No one else does.

Guests:

The legendary Little Richard was awesome. He was dressed in gold and his bling-bling. He has trouble walking, so he was rolled out in grand fashion. Oh, yeah, he was with the kid that got kicked of American Idol. (The guy who has a good voice and looks like a cabbage patch kid.)

Ross the Intern. Love him to pieces! When is he going to get his own show?

Cambell Brown, who is pretty and very intelligent. Most news people who come on the show are boring. Cambell was just right, she kept our interest and she was only on for one segment. Thanks

Will Arnett is very funny. I can’t wait to see him in the movie "Blades of Glory".

The musical guess was a Jazz musician named Dave Koz who featured Johnny Mathis. Two legends on one show! Johnny had on a green sweatshirt and some wrinkled khaki pants. Chances are he had something else he could wear.



Remember, you don’t have to be rich and famous to influence a child…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

An open letter to Mr. Scott...

Dear Mr. Scott head of the NBC Pages,

I hope that you are feeling better. You must be sick because the page Jason K. is attempting to do your job. I know, he wouldn’t do that unless you appointed him in charge, until you get better.

Today, Jason K. came up to me and said that he needs me to have more class when I write my blogs. And that I should not talk about him, because of just one incident that happed yesterday. May I take the time to tell you that he has messed with the wrong Negro. I come to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno almost everyday since last July, and very few people know what goes on, in that line, more than I do.

Jason K. has been rude on more than one occasion. I don’t write about pages or crew who are rude unless they have done it, three or more times. I have said to Jason K’s face that he comes across as arrogant. I told him that months ago. So, when the guest commented on it yesterday I reported it. I used nicer language than they did when talking about him. I don’t ask the guests, "what page has been mean to you today"?

If you need me to tell you the exact days Jason has been rude I can look on my blog and find them, I never said his name, until now.

Jason K. also said, that he has heard that I have pulled people out of line who have guaranteed tickets. First of all, you know that incident. No one asked me my opinion, but you (Scott) came to me, in a very friendly and professional manner and we discussed it, so I thought that was the end of that.

I do not understand why your understudy, Jason K, brought that up today. To my understanding, you are in charge, and you handled that incident when it happened a week or so ago. If you asked me what happened, or the other people in line, it wasn’t my fault. And the pages on duty, that day, handled things, at the time. Jason K. asked me not to do the pages job.

I told Jason K. that you already took me aside, on that day and put me in check.

Jason K. also said that he heard that I tell people that they can’t come into the show without ID. He might have heard that, but that is not true. I tell them to go to guess relations.

On more than one occasion, people under 16 have gone to the show and I didn’t say anything. I watch them act like they can’t find their ID. Not the older ones, but the younger ones whose parents lie for them.

I'm not out there to cause problems. I understand there's no need to be overly helpful. Ever since you spoke to me, Scott, I thought things were cool.

This is not my job, in fact I go out of my way to tell the people in line I do not work for NBC, but do I tell people where the nearest bathroom is, where to park, what’s good to eat in the area. No one is out there to tell them. The guests usually are going to the show one time during their vacations. So, they don’t bother with writing good commits, or bad. But I hear everything from them, because I am one of them.

No one is else is out there, hours before the show, talking and keeping things lively - not a page, not a guard, not even Jason K. I respect what you told me, so please make sure that your first runner up gets the memo.

I hope you get well soon. I’m sure you can handle what you need to handle, without involving me. I would love it if the pages didn’t act like they were going to a funeral, when they come out to greet us. But I would like it noted that Becky is always energetic and fun. Please reward her.

I do apologize for any misunderstandings. Can’t we all just get along?


Sincerely,

GloZell

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

GloZell there are two Smitty’s!...

In line I sat next to John and Carolynn, from Saskatchewan Canada. Poor John, ever since they arrived he has been peeing red crystals. John is a Geologist. I said, If any one knows about crystals it’s you. They were nice and bought me a hot dog. (Place joke here.)

John and Carolynn said that the page working behind the counter today is rude, and not a people person. Right away, I knew whom they were talking about. I walked over to see, and sure enough, it was Jason K. (The one with a lot of hair but still has a comb over) I have seen him being mean to the guests first hand. He is a snot, who knows how to kiss up to his bosses. Jason K. can’t you kiss up and be nice?

Smitty’s drum has a picture of himself on it. It’s hideous. This weekend, I will audition new nicer drummers for the show. (Smitty was mean to me 3 1/2 times. Maybe I can play Smitty’s drums and beat on his face.)

Bob, the warm up comedian was nice and tried to throw a T.S. bag at me but the guy in front of me swan dived and caught it. Thanks anyway, Bob.

Guests:

Hillary Swank looked hot in a simple tight gray dress. I didn’t like the white heels but she was still hot. Speaking of clothes, Jeff (Jay’s wardrobe guy) please help the guy on camera #3. He was wearing white sports socks with loafers and high water jeans… Again!

Carlos Mencia was very funny. I enjoyed him and I hope he comes back before Terry Bradshaw. They love that funny drunk.

Gym Class Heroes was the musical guest. They were different in a good way. I describe them as alternative-punk-rap.

Remember, it’s not what you do, but why you do it…

LoVa Ya,

GloZell

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

GloZell is smarter than a 5th Grade Redneck…

It was so cold and windy a little white girl with ruby slippers flew by, and her little dog too. "The Tonight show with Jay Leno" gave us all hot chocolate. It saved our lives. Thanks!

I sat next to Shawna, from Washington, who has traveled all over the world serving our country, also Kevin, an engineer, and his wife of three years, Melinda who is a kindergarten teacher. They got a picture with Jay!

Rachel of the local paper "The Burbank Leader" interviewed me. She wanted to know what has happened to the mailbox that is painted like R2-D2 from Star Wars. I told her that I’ve seen a guy dressed like Darth Vader make out with it.

Jeff (Jay’s wardrobe guy) was dressed like a normal person today! Jeff has about 50 pairs of pants with loud patterns and prints. Hey Jeff can you please tell cameraman #6 to please stop wearing white sport socks with loafers and high water jeans. It is your duty!

I noticed that the female pages have been sprucing it up a little. One female page today, curled her hair, wore fake designer glasses and red lipstick. Can it be because of Christopher, the new hot page? Yep, Thank you Scott, or whoever hired him, because he is so good looking.

Guest:

Jeff Foxworthy is always funny. I love him because he is so nice. Every time he’s on the show, he gives us stuff. Today we got Jeff Foxworthy Beef Jerky. It has a great taste but you have to have some strong horse like teeth to chew it.

I enjoy his show "Are you smarter than a 5th Grader".

Charlie Engle, Kevin Lin, and Ray Zahab who ran across the Sahara Desert. Charlie and Ray are motivational Speakers. I’m a motivational Speaker also. I’m speaking this Thursday at Charles W. Barrett Elementary School. I am talking about my adventures. In four months it will be my 1 year anniversary of going to the Tonight Show. I guess I’ll stop then, no one can say I didn’t try harder that anyone else to be a corespondent for the show. It’s been a great year. I have met some great people and seen a great show!

Dierks Bentley was the musical guest. He had a great sound and he is so good looking. Dierks looks like the new hot page, Christopher.


After the show, I met Joseph M. Block and his hot girlfriend Anita. He was on the show Beauty and the Geek last year. I love that show.


Remember, Know when to walk away…


LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Monday, March 26, 2007

Troll vs. GloZilla…

I can sing, play the piano; write music…are you thinking what I’m thinking! Yes! I will write and star in " I love Jay Leno"… THE MUSICAL. I cant wait to write songs like," Lord have mercy, Leno got his blue jeans on", "You have 400 cars, can a sistah get a ride?" and my ballad "His chin drew me in". Broadway, here I come!

Today, we had line snobs. Jen, Dan, Paul, and Derek who are from Canada. They were playing cards so they kept to themselves and it was hard to get to know them. Derek came late with a drinking glass that he stole from the hotel. Oh, Canada.

My lunch came today from four beautiful Asian ladies. Ida, who loves purple, her sister Eileen, who is planing a September wedding for her daughter and their co-workers Linda and June. They work for Classic Rock Jewelry Store in Japan Town, San Jose, California.

I also met Sue and Max, from Portland Oregon. Max who is 17, a huge Quentin fan and a great artist. The ladies, Max and Sue took pictures with Jay! They were so happy!

Oh, no what does my wondering eyes appear, but a miniature person running towards the line. It’s Smitty, AKA "The Troll" who lives under the Tonight Show stage and comes out to play the drums. I said "Hey everyone this is Smitty, the guy who plays drums for the show, take out your cameras (even though, I don’t think his image will come out). Smitty didn’t say hi, or thanks for coming, the Troll said nothing.

A mean girl who was first in line asked him "How does she know you? The Troll said" she doesn’t, she just comes here everyday" and walked off. If your pour water on him, thousands of Smitty’s will pop out of him and try and take over the world.

I was happy that the mean girl, and I sat on the same row. She was complaining that she should be on the first row, and not the fourth because she was in line since 5 AM to see Quentin. I told her that they put pretty, young, thin girls, on the first row and your batting a zero honey, but don’t worry their will only be one camera in your way. (Boy that was evil, and yet true). Lord forgive me.

Guests:

Quentin Tarantino is high energy. He said he enjoys how black people talk back at the movie screen. Great, put more black people in your movies! Did you hear that?
Pete Rose is a legend in baseball. I know nothing about baseball because it is boring, to me, and so was he. If you love baseball it will still be boring to you. Pete Rose is a legend and I respect that, it was nice seeing him.

Mika was the musical group, if you call that music. I call that foolishness! It was different, and interesting to watch. There was a rabbit, and at one point a donkey. I don’t think just listening to them will be as interesting as watching them. It was a crazy day!


Remember, don’t underestimate the power of kindness…

LoVe ya,

GloZell

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Why GloZell is dating a white man… Part 1

Since moving to California, I have met some interesting black men. None as great as my father the late Dr. Ozell Green, or my uncles on the Robinson side.

I met a guy named Bruce. He was 48 years old. Nice looking black man. Bruce was wearing a striped suite (peach and cream) with matching striped shoes, socks, hat and handkerchief. (I should have run away then, but I figured he could change) He was so nice even though he looked like an Ice Cream Pimp.

I was a teacher at Bryman Collage at the time. Bruce told me he was retired. Retired? I said, you are so young. Bruce said he was a retired architect. I said, My Rich Uncle Richard Robinson is an architect in Florida. He went on to say that he didn’t have any kids, and that he lived in a two story house that he designed. I was so impressed. My Uncle Richard lives in a house that he designed. It was meant to be!

Days later we were on the phone and I asked him what kind of places has he designed? Bruce said he designed the Burger Kings, with the two drive up windows. Before him their was only one. I thought that’s right, I said, I remember when there was only one window and you had to pay and get your food from the same window. Wow, Bruce you made life better for the fast food world. (Yep, I was that gullible)

Later on, he slipped and said I have a long day at work tomorrow. Tomorrow? I thought you were retired? He said, Oh yes, but I drive trucks to keep myself busy.

Then he started asking me questions about myself when I heard him cover up the phone and say Momma get out of here! Yes, I’m talking to a girl, just go! Okay… okay, put the chicken on the dresser, of course I want hot sauce!

I said, wait a minute you live with your mother? He said, she is handicapped and lives with me. I take care of her, because she is a quadriplegic. Oh really? I thought to myself, maybe she was in a wheelchair with some kind of holder on it because she brought up a plate of chicken, up stairs. I tried to justify all of that.

Bruce said that he wants me to come over this weekend, because his mother and sister won’t be home. I said, Your sister lives there also? Bruce explained that he takes care of her also because she has kids, and no man. I asked, Where are they going? He said, they are going on a camping retreat with the church.

I said, but your mother is a quadriplegic. Bruce said, well it comes and it goes. I couldn’t justify that one.

Bruce was no Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Jamie Foxx, Morris Chestnut, Terrence Howard, or Sidney Poitier. I think those are the only ones Oprah likes also.

He definitely wasn’t a Robinson.

Tune in next time when I talk about the guy I met named Shaqkobe (I can’t make this stuff up.)


Remember, Black is beautiful…


LoVe ya,

GloZell

Friday, March 23, 2007

Glo, Africa will fly away from Nick Nolte…

I decided this Monday I will start the "GloZell Is In Line Everyday Hoping To Be A Corespondent For The Tonight Show Exercise Program", or GIILEHTBACFTTSEP for short. Yes, I will use my time wisely. (And some people think I’m nuts... ha, I say)

In line today I met Carolyn, who is visiting her son Troy, who is a research Analyst for the Tonight show with Jay Leno. She is so proud she told me four times. (Either she is proud or forgetful) I hope Carolyn enjoys her visit.

Bernadette and Oralia stopped by to say hi! They are on their way to Rib USA for lunch, because the guys who work at BET eat there. That’s right ladies take charge of your love life through the ribs. (That’s how Eve did it)

My lunch came today from Linda and Tom Anderson. They are traveling with their nice Julie, and her fiancĂ©’ William. This week he got a speeding ticket, his luggage lost, and stood in line all day just to not get into the Price is Right. Julie didn’t have her ID.

They wanted to meet John Melendez; I ended up sitting next to him and asked John if he could just say hi to them. John spoke to them and then asked my how my blog was going. I love John Melendez. (He should be nice - he gets 2 million dollars a year to raise a cup)

My ticket came from Suzzane. Her daughter Lyn and her husband Windell have been married for 56 years. Three months ago Suzzane had 4th stage lung cancer. Three weeks ago, the doctors couldn’t find a trace of the cancer. She asked me to pray that the cancer doesn’t come back! I took her by the hands and said, "in the name of Jesus, I rebuke the devil, and I plead the blood of Jesus washes over her, and pray that the cancer never returns!" Amen. Suzzane was picked to dance and got a T-shirt. She had a great time! Thanks BOB!

Today, they picked out people to ask Jay a question. I knew it, because they always send out this nice guy, who looks like Ellen, to interview people.

Guests:

Nick Nolte. Okay…he was the third guest this week that seemed to have had a couple of drinks before the show. The show tapes at 4:30 PM. Who gets drunk in the afternoon? Why not make things easier and shoot at the Betty Ford clinic? Nick was a slap mess. Who knows what he was babbling on about.

Ruud Kleinpaste, AKA the bug man. He had this huge African Beetle that flew away and landed on a light above my head. This Harriet Tubman of a beetle was making a dash for freedom, from da white man. I think I heard it singing "Swing low".

Guster, was the musical guest.(click here for the bands official website) I thought they had a cool old sound, like the Mommas and the Poppas or the Beetles (not the scary African ones)

I sure do wish they would book someone good looking like Gerard Butler because todays guest hurt my eyes.


Remember, beware of difficulties, but believe they can be overcome…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Blades of GloZie...

In line today I met Christi and Kevin from Tulsa Oklahoma. Kevin was getting his eyes checked, and Christi was working at the eye place, Kevin asked her out and they have been seeing each other for two years. (Get it, seeing each other… I’m so funny)



They went to the Price is Right. Christi won a Ford Truck and made it to the Showcase Show Down. How cool is that! They got in line at Midnight, and camped out all night. It was worth it. The show will air April 20th.

I got my ticket today from some cool Ohio State Boys on Spring Break. Jason, Justin (who turned 19 today) Todd (Who almost got hit Jaywalking across the street) and Jeremy, AKA the Pizza Dude! They were so funny and really made the day go fast.



I helped another Christi, and Jennifer who are in nursing and Elena who is Pre Med. get tickets. They also got a picture with Jay.

Out of the blue sky Mary showed up and took pictures for my blog. Mary is the greatest! The few pictures I have on my blog are because of her. She stopped by, during her lunch break. She is a high, powerful editor for MTV. Her blog is Fightin’ Mad Mary.

In the ice-cold studio, I found out that it was Larry’s (a NBC Page) last day. He got a job! Good for you because, I know you get paid shiz nit as a page.

Jeramiha’s birthday was last Tuesday. He is a pretty good page.

Someone asked me if I thought Kevin Eubanks was gay. Why would anyone think he was gay? Just because he plays an instrument… not married… no kids… never seen with a girl… and wears tight sweaters… OH MY GOODNESS!

Guests:

The lead singer from the music group "The Flaming Lips" did bit for the show. I would rather the show bring back "Iron Jay", or some other character Jay use to do.

Will Ferrell did not disappoint. I love him. I love him. I love him. His outfit was tight and had holes in it. I could see his red briefs through a hole in the back. He is so funny. Please go see his movie "Blades Of Glory" I know it looks stupid, but it’s a good, stupid, funny.

Sen. Joe Biden… Who is running for president, was so clean and articulate. To bad, he is not going to win. (Next)

Paolo Nutini was the musical guest. I promise I didn’t understand what this guy was singing. I truly thought he was stoned, and speaking another language. I managed to make out something about shoes. The band had a great sound and if they had an interpreter, I would have enjoyed it more.


Remember, You don’t have to know what’s in someone else’s closet, just clean out your own…


LoVe ya,

GloZell

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

One Moore leg GloZell…

This guy, Erwin or something like that comes out of the studios sees me sitting there and says "Don’t you think your pushing it coming here every day" then he walked off. This is the guy who use to open the curtains for Johnny Carson at the Tonight Show.

I wanted to say hey aren’t you pushing it, your job has been over 20 years ago. No one needs you to ride your bike up here and eat all the food in the Green Room. Jay doesn’t even use curtains. The white people at the show are nice, but the brothers haven’t been. (Like Smitty, who walks like a penguin, and not the cute ones from "Happy Feet" - think Batman) I see why Oprah hardly ever has brothers on her show.

I got my ticket today from three nice sisters from Minnesota. Cindy, Paddy and Suzie. Paddy is a Cancer survivor, who loves Ellen and they all decided to go to the Ellen and Tonight show with Jay Leno. They know how to party! We had three cheeses, chips, dip, salsa, triscits, nuts, pepperoni and water, plus they gave me a gift. They got a picture with Jay and had a great time. They also remembered when Ellen talked about me, during her 12 days of Christmas show her first year.

I also met some wild cool people from Gainesville Florida. That’s the town I went to college in. (Go Gators) After the show they got a picture with Jay!

In the audience, before the show, I saw one of my comedy mentors from Florida. I had no idea how to get a hold of him when he moved to California. His name is Phil Moore and now he works for Entertainment Tonight. (I love that show). I use to baby sit his son who is now going to go to college in California. (I’m not that old). I got his e-mail, and phone number so we can keep in touch.

Guests:

Roseanne Barr was looking good. I didn’t get the white socks and red plaid heels but it’s Roseanne. The last time she was here, was Halloween. Roseanne was dressed like a giant fat fairy, and she had been drinking. (Guests seem to do that a lot) I saw her act last year in Vegas, and it was very good. I could have lived without her taking her clothes off.

I found Heather Mills, intriguing. She has a great personality and out look on life. I watched her on Dancing with the Stars to see if her leg was going to come flying off and hit some one on the head. Sadly, it didn’t, but it still was a great performance. (Come on, you know that’s why you watched)

James Morrison was the musical guest, he has a nice strong voice and I enjoyed him. The background made it seem like he was in the enchanted forest with his keyboard player.


Remember, a wise woman makes more opportunities than she finds…


LoVe ya,

GloZell

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Walla, Holla at GloZell…

I got my ticket from 5 wonderful Seventh Day Adventist University students from Walla Walla University from Walla Walla Washington, home of the onion-throwing contest.

Ken has been trying to get a hold of his mother, who wanted him to visit her this spring break, instead of going to California. She is protesting by not picking up the phone for the last two days.

Michelle who anchors a TV program for her school. Shauna who looks just like Goldie Hawn when she was very young, Landon who can’t dance, and is going to be an awesome minister someday (His grandfather is the only one who has seen Michelle’s show) and Jacob who ate for three hours at a buffet across the street in a hot pink T-shirt.

The mechanic across the street at Tuneup Masters named Henry was kicked out of an Seventh Day Adventist Seminary school for touching a girl’s knee under a table.

Henry worked on my car last Wednesday and my engine light came on two days and 300 dollars later. Grrrrr...

I also met Terri and Virgil from Virginia. They live on a boat and have a Rat Terrier dog named Captain. Virgil was Terry’s mechanic and he has been looking under her hood for 5 years. I guess I need something better under my hood!

Guests:

Jay’s Monologue didn’t work on today’s crowd, but with Kevin’s smart remarks, Jay turned it around. That’s okay, Jay you are still my Boo.

David Spade is small, but thicker than I thought. I believe he had a little drinky poo before the show. He put his foot on the table several times. I will never invite him to my house. (When I get one.)

David was funny and kept moving his thin wispy hair out of his face. (Hey, why don’t you cut your hair, the Doobie Brothers look is out this year) I don’t understand how he got close enough to even smell Heather Locklear.

Richard Engle has thick hair, so maybe he is taller than David. They are about the same height. I don’t think they can ride any rides at theme parks.

Richard is a serious journalist and showed footage of dead people, shootings, a lot of blood and other footage from his documentary. Yep, it was a fun show.

Hinder was the musical guest. They were great. I see so many rock bands. White guys with weird hair and guitars. They were one of the more polished groups and I liked their song.


Remember the Seventh Day and Keep it Holy…



LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Monday, March 19, 2007

XXX, Strawberry, and Glo…

I was in line talking to Melissa who is majoring in Child Development and Steven, who is majoring in Chemistry, German and Business who are from Minnesota. When all of a sudden Strawberry appears.

Strawberry entertained us all day. She showed us her catwalk and she sung a Whitney Houston song. I met Strawberry last Thursday, and I will never forget her. She is on vacation from "The Playpen" in Manhattan New York. She charges 35 dollars for five minutes. (That’s all I can say about that) And believe me she said a lot.

Two guys were filming something for the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno". The cameraman was named John, he was shooting some guy getting intimate with a mailbox painted like R2D2 and he was in a Dearth Vader T-shirt. He did it over and over from all sides. It was a wild day.

I told my little group how to get a picture with Jay. When Jay asked Strawberry what she did for a living, she said she was a student. (Well I know she probably teaches) Strawberry is going to audition for "America’s Next Top Model". I pray that she get on somebody’s show.

I asked Strawberry if she liked being a prostitute and she said "No, but I have got to pay my bills, buy my weed and take my vacations". I asked her if she goes to church. She said "I go sometimes and I know Jesus".

Strawberry I want you to know that I will pray that you don’t have to sell your body. You are very funny and when your not cursing me out, I really like you. Take care of yourself and be careful. Keep in touch.

Kevin’s head is freshly shaven. He looks like a delicious guitar playing milk dud.

Guests:

I was in the second row in a red jacket and Strawberry had on a light blue wrap on her head. You can spot us when we shook Jay’s hand.

Terrence Howard. When he came, out Strawberry was screaming like a crazy woman. During one of the breaks Melissa and Strawberry yelled his name, he walked over, hugged and kissed Strawberry and shook Melissa, Steven, myself, and this guy named George from Howard University’s, hands. Thanks Strawberry.

Terrence told Jay that he couldn’t be in a room with a TV, because he only watches the adult stations. (XXX) No wonder he jumped off stage to hug Miss Strawberry.

Terrence told us all to see his new movie; I already forgot the name of it.

Bruce Fine is this adorable comedian who is truly funny. I have seen his act and he was a little off in some places from what I’ve seen before. Over all his is very talented and I hope that he comes back.

Jersey Boys is a musical, and they performed a medley from their play. It was a refreshing change from the unknown rock bands that I always see. They had energy and they weren’t boring. Bruce and Terrence were off stage singing along.

The show was great icing on the great time we had in line today. It was a fun day!


Remember, you should always give up things that bind you…


LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Top of da morning to ya Glo…

Happy St. Paddy's day!!!

In da news this week, Angelia Jolie adopted a child from Vietnam. What is she doing? I think that it is very interesting that she is considered to some a Saint like person for this rainbow family she is developing. Let’s not forget that she put her whip appeal on Brad and he left his wife who is America’s sweet hart Jennifer Anderson. (She’s our friend) I know who cares.

I just think that if Angelia really wants to stand for peace, she should start with her own family. She hasn’t talked to her father for years but she can make a difference across the world. Bridge the gap with your dad first. Oh, wait, I hear they are talking. Well, her mother has passed away. What more motivation dose she need. From one big lipped sister to another, make peace with your dad, and then continue your collection of "We are the World". I hope they’ve worked it out.

Oprah is taking care of hundred of African children, but she didn’t bring them to her house, okay.

Who is left on American Idol that we care about?

American Idol is good y’all. Did you see it when big hair Diva Miss Diana Ross was on? (Love it) The black guy had to go because he forgot the words, like a dummy, and is too normal for the show any way.

The skinny pale white bald guy who looks like he has had chemotherapy. I call him Powder, is still on. Powder has a nice voice, I think he was a troll in the last Harry Potter movie.

The two black Mahalia Jackson sisters will cancel each other out but will tour in plays like "Mamma I need a man" or "Grandma help me find a man"or "Sh** a good man is hard to find" Live at the Rosa Parks Playhouse. Or they can advertise for "The Gap". Get your grill fixed, girlz.

And my favorite contestant is the tiny girl that hulas. No, that’s not a guy? I’m talking about the little tan girl with beautiful hair and who can’t sing… What? That’s a boy?! He is too pretty.

I heard Howard Stern is asking his listeners to vote for the hula person. Hey, it makes for great TV and I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

Did you hear that Anna Nicole has a 6-year old boy living on some Indian reservation with his dad? Anna can keep a secret. My mother gives me money, so I won’t become a whore. I love Anna Nicole, but my goodness that child got around, probably because people were pretending to be her friend. Like stank behind Howard Stern. RIP now Anna.

Special thanks to "Fightin’ Mad Mary", please visit her blog. The link is off to the side on the screen. She’s helped me so much in improving my blog. I love her!

Remember, what is done in the dark will come into the light…

LoVe ya,

GloZell

Friday, March 16, 2007

GloZell O’Green…

I got my ticket today from Mary and Tim McCarthy from Martinez California, Home of the Martinis. Mary was happy to find Krazy Glue at the Mobil station across the street, Home of the ridiculously high priced gas.

They are playing hooky from work. Mary works for Longs Drug Store and Tim is a Technical Engineer and computer software guy. They were so nice, they gave me cookies and bought me a bottle of NBC water. Tim plays the guitar and they Tivo the Tonight Show with Jay Leno every night. During the tapping, Tim massaged Mary’s shoulders.

Also in line was Tiffany, a window washer. She has been to the show before and has met Jay. I think Tiffany could be a model if she took out one of her face piercings and dyed her roots. Tiffany has a pretty face, and a model’s body. Use it girl! She will be back in April.

A sister of one of the pages was here today. She was pretty, with a high voice. She talked about how, on the plane, they were showing the movie "Happy Feet" and how she freaked when she saw the Hollywood sign. Alexia, I hope you have a great time and have a safe trip back to New York. You are a little less snobby than your brother is. (Just a little)

In the studio, the on stage security guard Andy, AKA "The Hair" wasn’t there today. (He’s Irish and I bet is starting off his weekend early) I saw five people using cell phones. He’s the one who normally stops them. His replacement was too busy looking at the videos to catch anything. Then during the show, while the security guard was off to the side, he picked his nose, and rolled the green booger with his fingers. At least do that in your car, at the light, like a civilized person! (Gross)

Guests:

Terry Bradshaw. Was all over the place. I think he is a functioning acholic, or he needs medication. He is a great guest when they can’t get anybody else. He talked about nothing, because he had nothing to talk about. Terry told some jokes and said, "I wonder why I’m not hosting this show?" (Ooh, ooh, I know why… because you’re not funny) He is a favorite on the show, and I would like to see him again when he has something to advertise, even if it’s AA.

Terry said he introduced himself to a male model, because the model was so good-looking he couldn’t take his eyes off him. Terry, please, take the first step. The First Christian Church of NoHo has a great AA program.

I think the Producers of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno thought… How many old white guys can we get on the show this month? Yesterday, it was Dan Rather, today Terry Bradshaw. Next week, tune in to see Jay interview Santa Claus and the Grim Reaper.

Mary Lynn Rajskub from the show "24". She looks better in person, and she is very funny. (Next)

Musical Guest was this tiny black guy named Musiq Soulchild… I don’t know what he sang because, I was wondering if his clothes were going to continue to eat him. They were so big. If you look to the right, I think there was a Pigmy singing background in a red sweatshirt. And you thought Angelina Jolie was helping the Africans.

Please don’t repeat this show. Hopefully people will just watch the monologue, Jay Walking, and go to sleep.

Have a great St. Patrick’s Day!

Remember, everyday is lucky, because you are here to enjoy it.


LoVe Ya,

GloZell O’Green

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Strawberry, Midgets, Tanorexia, and Glo...

I got in line at 10:00 AM, nobody else was in line till about 1 pm. Nobody wanted to see Dan Rather in fact people gave me their tickets when they found out who the guest was today. As I sat outside feeling like a fool, asking myself why do I do this? Will I ever be a Tonight Show with Jay Leno" correspondent? I’m so bored today! Just then, a family of midgets came walking by. It was a sign from God.

I don’t’ think I have ever see midgets outside on a family outing before? They were on vacation from Wisconsin.

There was mama midget, papa midget, and baby midget. They sat in line with me. I told them they couldn’t bring the baby into the show. The mother said, "He’s 16 years old". Oops, my bad. They didn’t get in because they didn’t have I.D. proving that he was 16 and not a baby. Sorry little man.

The Dwarves didn’t like it when I asked them if they knew how to make cookies like the other elves. (Midgets don’t have a since of humor) I will make it up to them. When I get on the show, I will thank all the "Little People".

I like Little People except Smitty. (The Tonight Show with Jay Leno drummer)

I sat next to Paul Fowler and his son Brad Fowler. Paul is a cool dad. He takes his children on a one on one vacation every year. They live in Salt Lake Utah. Brad is 21 years old, lives on his own and has a great job at UPS. So this trip was extra special to Paul who doesn’t get to see his son as much as he would like.

I also met Angela and Greg who befriended a girl who had crack head tendencies in ticket line at 8:00 AM. Out of the blue was this mess of a girl who said she was on "America’s Next Top Model" jumped in the front of the line next to Angela. Her name was Strawberry. I told her to get to the back of the line, and she cussed me out.

Strawberry said she was an actress with the hunger in her eyes. (And I think weed in her system)

Some of the people in line said she was smoking pot in line, before the door opens to get tickets this morning.

I told her the back of the line is VIP and then I walked her back there and she stayed.

Then a lady who looked like she could be my cousin from the back, turned around and she was a white woman. I have never seen a white person with leather raw hide looking skin. She was a slap mess. Angela just looked at her in disgust. She looked like she could be made into a jacket. She must tan in a microwave. Please get help, or at least some sunscreen.

Guests:

Dan Rather. I thought he died a long time a go, so I guess he looked good.

Andrew Zimmern. Eats exotic foods. Jay, Andrew, and Dan ate crickets. (Yuck)

Lloyd was the musical guest. I was guessing if he was a boy or girl, Indian or black. He truly was a guess. I grew up with Michael Jackson, so he didn’t do it for me but Angela was jamming the whole time.

Remember the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree…


LoVe ya,

GloZell

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Miss G.L.G…

Outside in line I met Bryan, the talent coordinator for the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno". Guess what? He is black! Bryan is young and is a nice, cute light skin brother. Light skin isn’t in right now. But don’t worry Bryan, it’s making a comeback. (Thanks to Terence Howard). I wish I met Bryan before I gave up black men, oh well.

In the studio audience, there were 51 Miss USA contestants and the reigning Miss USA. The one who made out with Miss Teen USA and went to rehab. She looked like she’s a real "Ich bey". She’s just mad that she is back to her pre-coke weight.

They were beautiful, but most of them didn’t have two things that matched, beautiful face, and no boobs, or big boobs and no behind.

The ladies had fake tan stuff on their skin. (Except the sisters)

The women had little to nothing on. They froze! (Ha, Ha) It was like a room full of Barbie Popsicles.

Miss Carolina was nice and spoke to the people in the first row.

Miss Idaho breasts were just as fake as a box of Idaho potatoes.

Miss Washington was chubby and needed a weave.

Miss Delaware needed some lotion on her extra dry elbows.

GloZell’s Ghetto Gorgeous tip. Go to the 99-cent store and get those sponges with the one ruff side. The ones that are used to clean pots. Use that in the shower. Wash with the sponge part and scrub your crusty feet, elbows, and knees with the ruff part, okay.

Miss Louisiana was a little scary looking in the face. (Maybe, she got caught in Katrina)

Miss GloZell Lyneette Green needs to stop hating on prettier girls.

The only pageant I ever won was for my church; I looked good in the sexy choir robe competition.

The contestants had a body guard, the traditional extra large bald black guy that is too big and too old to out run anybody, if he had to.

Guests:

Minnie Driver scratched her arm and leg and flipped her hair the whole time. (Hey Minnie, they make powders and creams that can take care of that kind of any itch.) She has masculine hands, forearms, and at midnight, I think she turns into a man. Over all, she is a great actress and yada yada.

Bailee Madison, is a 7 year old actress. She was very cute. Come back when your Dakota Fanning.

Finger Eleven was the musical guest. They rocked out. It looked liked the lead singer was high, and the longhaired guitarist looked like he was having a seizures. They had a solid sound and I wish them well.

Remember, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…


LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

GloZell is Brilliant...

In line I sat next to Sondra and Bob from Kansas city Missouri. Before the show Sondra was picked to dance and received an Tonight Show with Jay Leno bag. She really knows how to shake it like a salt shaker. They are both retired and spend their time and money to travel the states, golf , and remodel their beautiful home.


Guests:

Pitch to America. Some lady is marketing tape, that women use to push their breast up. It looked painful and stupid but it sold. I'm going to go to Office Depot and market some post it stickies to write on your underwear and make millions. (I'm a genius)

Sandra Bullock was in a skin tight dress. She looked stunning. Sondra's hair was okay in the front, but it looked like her stylist went on strike before they finished the back. It looked like a rat's nest back there.

Andy Richter, a traditional, funny chubby comedian. NBC loves him I think he has been on three failed shows but maybe his new show will be the winner. I'm sure they will pair him up with a hot girl that he could never get in real life.

Evanescence was the musical group. I heard the lead girl was a real pill back stage, but she was good. Her voice is strong. I like Evanescence, but all of their music sounds similar.

Remember, let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me... true and cheesy, I couldn't think of anything else.

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Monday, March 12, 2007

GloZell’s Chemical Romance…

I got my ticket today from some Texans. Danny who works for the Government, his wife Gloria who teaches Pre-K and Danny’s proud Catholic mother Lydia.

I got lunch from Ryan O’Connor, Melissa Strauss (who is very hot… she made me write that) Kami Knudsen and JP Strate. Thanks for the hot dog and large root beer float.

In line, a guy named Crazy Mark from Pittsburgh entertained us. He talked three hours straight, and even during the show.

In the studio, it was nice seeing everyone from the show except Smitty, the troll who plays drums for the show. (He was mean to me three times, and that’s not a charm) I don’t give a Smit about him.

Rest in peace Richard Jeni, who passed away this last Saturday. He was a comedian who frequently appeared on the Tonight Show (Both Johnny and Jay)… Which means his spot on the show, is now open for me (Hint, Hint).

Guests:

Mark Wahlberg’s good looking. (Next)

Brad Garrett. You remember the ogre from the show "Everybody loves Raymond". His comedy is funny, in a racist sort of way. I’m hope they edited some of the comments he made, but he was a very good guest.

Brad was making rude comments about Native Americans, Gay’s and other races. He had an unusually dark tan today. He’d better check his own heritage Brad might not be completely from the chosen people. He might be incogNegro. (8 foot Jew, come on)

The musical guest was "My Chemical Romance". They were great! Their fans stood up and knew all the words to the song. They had great energy! The lead singer after the show thanked his fans. The Tonight show with Jay Leno had a great background for them. Fire shot out from behind them. Thanks for an outstanding performance. I’m a fan.
They were refreshing, I have seen some horrible live musical acts, like Robin Thicke.


Remember, don’t throw stones when you live in an 8-foot glass house…


LoVe ya,

GloZell

Friday, March 09, 2007

Dogs will be dogs GloZell...

I'm still in shock about how such a good looking man like Huge Grant is such a nasty dog.

Here's the recap from the original taping -


In line today, I met a retired Airforce General and Judge Honorable Mike an his beautiful wife Ceile.. They are world travelers and just got back for Vietnam. Mike has an incredible deep sexy voice and Ceile is a great cook. They have been married for over 51 years.

They are the proud parents of Marc, who is 48 and a successful Psychologist, and a high-powered lawyer daughter named Suzanne.

While I was talking to Mike and Ceile a young woman approached me and asked if I was the one who has the Jay Leno blog? Then she asked for a picture with me. This Angel is named Rebkah. She is in town so her cousin Suzanne can be tested to carry her children for her.

Rebkah has a heart condition. Dr. Thomas Kim, in Beverly Hills, harvested her eggs when she was 17 years old, because of the medicine she was going to have go on she would no longer have healthy eggs.

August is when her eggs go bad. All of the expense are coming out of her parent’s pocket. When Rebkah told us her story we were all touched. Her cousin, Suzanne is 34, married with three children, and is willing to give her cousin Rebkah the greatest gift of all.

We all had a great time at "The Tonight show with Jay Leno".

Guests:

Hugh Grant. The hoots and hollers went on and on. Hugh is sexy! He was strange as always, and started talking about a recurring dream he has of a woman named Mabel who carries him in a basket and calls him Master. Master… I like to put him in a basket.

Then Hugh said that dogs are attracted to him in a romantic way. The reason I think that dogs are attracted to Hugh is because he cheated on Elizabeth Hurly with a black prostitute. (Who probably called him Master) Dogs know their own kind.


Julie Scardina with two bears from Bush Gardens. The bears were eating apples and grapes. One tried to hump Hugh. My goodness he has to learn how to control that.

Jay threw out the remaining pieces of fruit into the audience.

Nora Jones was beautiful and had a great look and sound. She had cute, female, Asian back up singer. I don’t think I have every seen an Asian backup singer. Great!


Remember, God is good all the time and all the time God is good!…


Love ya,

GloZell

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Glozell says "Don't forget the "k", Jay!"

I thought the relationship was a little strange between John Stamos and Don Wrinkles but hey it's Hollyweird.

Here's the recap-

In the ice cold studio. Jay always wipes off his make-up and messes up his hair during one of the breaks, but today he didn’t. What’s up with that Jay?

Jay meant to say "Ask Men" during his monologue but he for got the "k". The audience got a good laugh.

Guests:

Jay showed some interesting videos of people who waned to be a corespondent for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", I hope they show mine too.

Don Rickles, AKA Don wrinkles, he was old and had help getting up and down the few steps off the stage. If Don was just starting out in comedy he wouldn’t have a chance because so many people get in trouble these days saying anything racist. Don was rude, said racist things, loud, interesting and funny. He asked us to clap for Jay’s dead parents. He will say anything! The girl next to me said I don’t know who that guy is but, he sure is a funny old guy. I felt old.

Over all, it was great seeing a comedy legend.

John Stamos. The Great Greek. He is still Uncle Jessie to me. John has an unusually close relationship with Don Rickles. Don said so many nice things about John. Don must be dying soon, because he never says anything nice about people.

John was cute, and girls were screaming "I love you John". We were instructed before the show not to scream at John during the show.

The musical guest Rocco DeLuca and the Burdan were good. the were very creative with their home made instruments. One of the guys was beating on a piece of wood, and another was playing a drum with his foot, keyboard with one hand, shaker with the other. They could just be cheap. The sound was solid and it worked for them.

Remember, what is yours in the world, you will receive… No matter who tries to get in your way…


Love Ya,

GloZell

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

"Jay is a good kisser, GloZell!…" Take 2

I don't know who picks the repeat shows, because I wouldn't have picked this one, but tune in to see Matt Lauer tight high waisted Steve Erkell Jeans. His boys were a little crushed on the right side.

Here's the recap from that show -

In the studio, this lady gets to take a picture with Jay Leno. She said that she heard that he was a good kisser. Honey chile', Jay kissed the 7734 out of her. I started to count 1 Go Gators, 2 Go Gators, 3 Go Gaters, etc. I made it to 15 Go Gators! Jay was off the chain. Nobody knew what to do because the kiss went on for so long. I mean a long time.

I bet that lady thought Jay was going to leave his wife of 26 years, marry her, have his gray haired children, and drive off in one of his cars. Ha! Well he didn’t, but he really, really kissed her. The audience, staff and GloZell could not believe it. That lady needed a cigarette afterwards. It should have been me! (I could have been a contender!) I show up everyday and barely get an handshake. (Bitter, party of one)

Donald Trump gave us all hot chocolate during the show. I thought Jay was going to ask about his feud with Rosie, but he didn’t, and nothing was said about that. Donald’s hair wasn’t as fugly as I thought, but his face had this fake tan stuff that didn’t look normal.

I sat next to the Olsons, from Illinois. Mr. Olson is a race car driver, who was picked to dance on stage. He couldn’t dance so he started to take off his clothes. Mrs. Olson was so nice to me, they both asked me questions about the show, and I loved answering them. They were special guests of Jay’s and took a picture with him after the show, along with their friends the Greene’s.

Guests:

Ross the Intern, at the Golden Globes. Ross has lost some weight. He is on the show "Celebrity Fitness". He is so fairy funny. I’m looking forward to work with him someday soon.

Matt Lauer from the "Today" show was a good guest. His jeans were too tight in the crotch. His poor twig and berries looked like they were praying for freedom.

The Ragonese’s, are a couple in their 70’s, who beat up robbers that came into their store with a bat and a cane. The robbers must have been 90 years old. The Ragonese’s were funny, and were jamming to the music every break.

The musical guest, the "All American Rejects" had a great sound and a huge fan base. They looked like cute dirty haired white boys. After the show, the lead singer was holding hands with the drummer.

Today was a very unusual affectionate show.

Remember, you are as young as you feel… or who you feel…


Love Ya,

GloZell

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Repeat week continues

I don't know what's all the controversy about Bill Cosby. He speaks so slow I'm a sleep about time he finishes what he's saying. Here's a recap of the last time ol' Billy was on.

In line today I met Gypsy’s, Mike and Debbie, who decided on Debbie’s 55th birthday to sell everything, buy a motor home and travel the land. (Mike won’t let Debbie drive) They told me how much fun they were having. Debbie showed me pictures of her family. They are both very proud grandparents to a handsome boy, named Jacob (who knows how to make some funny faces) and a princess named Astrid. (Who was named after Neil Young’s sister) Astrid has a pretty stepsister, named Ashley! Your grandparents are so cool!

I love these people. Their family thought, and still thinks that they are crazy! They just look on a map and decide where to live for that week. On the back of their home, they have a truck, motorcycle and two bikes! Mike is a retired firefighter of 27 years.

Wolfman came to the show today. He is a strange guy who keeps coming to "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno". Hey bub, get your on show this one is mine!

Mike won some socks!

Guests:

Bill Cosby, who received two standing ovations. He was a little older, a litter heavier but the same ol’ Bill. He is a hero to me. Jay and Bill are clean comics. Just like me. Bill and Jay talked about cars, and cracked us all up! Bill played in the band during one of the breaks.

Mary-Lynn Rajskub, from the show "24’, didn’t drop the ball. She was hilarious! I love her dry since of humor. Mary-Lynn was beautiful in a brown leopard print halter-top dress. Her spray tan looked great, and so did she.

Katharine McPhee, from last years "American Idol", Looked sexy in a short grey one piece short and top, with black tights. At first, I thought the music was too loud then I could hear her voice over it. Bill spoke to Mary-Lynn throughout Katharine’s whole performance!

This was a very good show!

After the show it was fun watching all the black people who work on the show come out of nowhere to take a picture with the legendary Bill Cosby. I wish I was one of them!

Remember, Life is a Journey… for some of us…


Love Ya ,

GloZell

Monday, March 05, 2007

Jay is on Hiatus, and so is GloZell

Tonight's a repeat and so am I. Below is my recap of the original airing.



In line, I met the greatest people from Florida! Eddie, Sarah Jeanette and Johan.
Johan and Jeanette moved to California because Johan is going to be a very successful actor. (Ya hear that, Steven Spielberg)

Sarah and Eddie Jaywalked across the street to get snacks. Sarah shared her M&M’s with me. (Love her)

Eddie didn’t appreciate me butting in and telling him its time to give Sarah a ring. Not just any ring but a 2 1/2 karat diamond platinum ring in a size six, with at least a D clarity. (It’s been over a year buddy)

I loved both couples and I wish them everlasting love. Happy Birthday Johan!

As I was walking down the hallway to get to my seat. I said great job, to Smitty (the drummer for the Tonight Show Band) He looked at me and walked away. I have said that to him three times since I’ve been coming to the show, and not once has he said thank you. Smitty is not nice.


Guests:

Grammy Jaywalking. This bit was so funny. Jay went to an apartment building and had residents act out different music videos. Who ever thought of this should get a raise, it was hilarious.

Drew Barrymore was fantastic. Everyone loves her. She had on a sexy, one shoulder, chocolate dress, large belt, and wooden bangles. Her hair was simple and she was beautiful.

During the break, a woman came out and handed Drew a mirror and her lipstick, which she applied herself. (She is so independent)

Kyle Krichbaum who is a 12 year old vacuum cleaner collector. This kid was wild about vacuums. Kyle got his first real vacuum at 3 year old. He vacuums three times a day! (And you thought kids were just good for fetching the remote control.) I hope he gets the help he needs. (Just kidding he’s perfectly normal)

The musical guest was Solomon Burke who was out of the world. He was big, black about five hundred pounds and sat during his whole performance. He looked like the main singer from the Chuck E Cheese restaurants or a character Eddy Murphy does. He blew us away. He has an incredible sound and zest that filled the studio. His talent is just as big as he is. I loved him.

Kevin Eubanks (Tonight Show bandleader) standing, was the same height as Solomon was sitting. Either Kevin is short, or Solomon is taller sitting down because of his big behind. (I have the same issue) I was wondering if Solomon could walk. One of his helpers gave him two walking canes. The Tonight show was thoughtful enough to lower the panel so we couldn’t see him struggle to walk.

Remember, It’s not work if you love it!…


Love ya,

GloZell

Friday, March 02, 2007

Glo, Their are Some Scary Gerry Fans…


In line I sat next to Amber who doesn’t talk before 9:00 am, and her best friend Carley who played hooky from work. They are die-hard Gerard Butler fans along with Mariko who should have her own show because she is so funny. They talked about how they got back at a cheating man. Mariko did so many things to a guy who cheating on her, I’m surprised she isn’t in jail. (She scared me just a little).

I was holding a spot in line for Mary. Mary is a very successful editor for MTV.

When Mary arrived this lady, named Lavender, walked up to us and said. "You can’t let anyone cut in line, I can get very violent and stomp you with my boots, I have very heavy boots".


I couldn’t believe that I was being threatened in the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, line. Lavender had a cross around her neck. I wonder what boot stomping denomination her church belongs to.

Then 2:30 PM after most of us was in line since 7:00 AM. Two "ladies" jumped the line and wouldn’t move because they said they’ve been in line for 30 minutes. I wanted to get Rev. Dr. Harold C. Skillrud a Lutheran Bishop who was in the line to read them their last rights because it was about to go down.

Tony (Jay Leno’s security guard) had to come out and remove the two "ladies" from line. (Ha-ha)…

It was such a wild day. I had so much fun!

Guests:

Queen Latiffah was funny and was celebrating her birthday, with a large tequila shot
Given to her by Jay. (Who doesn’t drink). I wanted to see the next guest, to see what all the fuss was about.

Gerard Butler. I can’t say anything bad about him, for fear of my life. I think his fans enjoyed the interview. Lavender, was thrilled – She had made it in. Jay got Carley and Amber Gerry’s autograph. I pray Gerry never make them mad. (They were cute but they can be evil.)


Remember, men, there is nothing like a woman scorned…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

Thursday, March 01, 2007

GloZell is Korny…

In the 8:00 AM line, I again met Sergio. The last time Sergio was at the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jay signed a copy of Jay’s children’s book "If Roast Beef could fly " during one of the breaks.

Wolfman and Sergio raced to the line to be first. Sergio won.

Wolfman collects two stacks of tickets and a cue card after the shows he goes to. I wonder if he is trying to build a clubhouse? (If you build it, Jay will come).

Tomorrow is the last day for three NBC pages. Nasim M. who will be working for Universal Pictures and is best friends and roommates with the page Ashley. Nasim has another friend name Chris who should be "beneficial", he is hot! Alexis (Zoo) who is a very talented actor and musician and Jordan who doesn’t want a job, he did the page thing to pacify his parents who have clout and are rich. I will miss y’all

In line, Sergio and I met an albino who said he was in the band Korn. We didn’t believe him.

John Melendez gave me his Coke. I know it’s because he didn’t want to drik it all, because he use to be fat and he had to put something in the cup. I felt special!

Guests:

Howie Mandel. I think he comes on the show when there is no one else. Howie told everyone to look under their chair to get a Deal or no Deal game. The only lady who had a game under her chair didn’t find it in time. (No deal)

At a spa under waxing, you can order the "Howie Mandel". My first Bikini wax I had to do here in California was a disaster. My client went from wanting a bikini to a Brazilian, which I had never done. I thought to myself, does this woman realize where I have to put this hot wax? I ended up hot gluing her Va Jy Jy shut. She paid, tipped me and never came back.

To this day I wondered how she unglued it, and went to the bathroom that day.

Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC’s, How to catch a predator. (I think I met him when I was 14)

The musical guest was Korn they rocked! The set was visually stimulating. They used so many drums and colorful people, except one, the albino guy singing with the band.

Remember, Look pass the complexion to see a reflection…


LoVe Ya,

GloZell