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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

GloZell is a mean old Lion…

The joke Mr. Leno made about a cat yesterday during his monologue was funny. Jay has the best writers. Jay Leno owns a cat. How nice.

Dear Jay,

I think it’s great that you like pussy
Not too many men in California like them.
I had a pussy but it ran away. I didn’t give it the attention that it needed.
Make sure you stroke your pussy everyday?
What color is yours?
Are you superstitious?
Do you care what color it is?
I bet you like your pussy black!
It’s amazing how I know these things!
In you book "Leading With My Chin" your pussy stories were hilarious.

Billy the Cig… Huckleberry Finn called and he wants his high water jeans back…

Jeff the wardrobe guy. I liked your friends, I can’t believe they were seated all the way in the back. Is that why you brushed the invisible lint off Jay’s suite 27 times? That was the most lint-less suit in the history of the show. Love Ya!


Guests:

Dr. Phil was good. Jeff the wardrobe guy. You bushed off invisible lint off of Jay and you couldn’t do anything for Dr. Phil who was wearing two different suits? Blue jacket, Grey pants and black shoes. Tisk, tisk. I guess you were hypnotized by all of the diffrent strips you had Jay wearing today. I got a little dizzy also.

Rove McManus is an Australian talk show host, who told a story about a monkey who picked his nose ate it and fell out of a tree. That is not the how it goes. There were two monkeys in two different trees. One monkey is digging in his behind, I mean really going at it. Monkey # 2 is just watching him in disgust.

Monkey #1 sniffs his finger passes out, falls out of the tree and the other monkey laughs. It is the funniest clip ever shone on America’ Funniest Home Videos. It is crazy funny.

Patty Smith was the musical guest. Patty Smith is a man. He had a great sound and… What? Patty Smith is a Woman? No way! You mean Patty use to be a woman. What! I don’t care what that was. Patty rocked it. The Shim was awesome! It sung a song and the chorus was " It's just a shout away! It's just a shout away"

I need "her" to wear a dress, some lipsick, a bra, something! "It's just a shop away! It's just a shop away!

Last night I went to an Ugly Betty Party and every one was nice. Except Vanessa Williams. She was the only one who wouldn’t take a picture with me. I guess I had on too many clothes for her taste.(Hustler Tramp! Playboy is much classier) Vanessa was beautiful but she is a Stank Heifer! Ha,Ha, Ha.

I also loved meeting the host of "America's Funniest Home Videos" who is also the host of the show "Dancing with the Stars".

Our thoughts and prays goes out to Ellen Degeneres. We pray that your back heals quickly!I love the Ellen show.

Remember to spay and neuter your animals…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey this Chris, stick with the guest of the show and stop citizing people. Thats how this blog use to be. Stick with the show.

Anonymous said...

Michael here,

I disagree with Chris. I think you've got some pretty funny stuff here!

Write what you want!

Really Hilarious!!!

Anonymous said...

I disagree with Michael, Some of the stuff you wirte has nothing to do with the show or Jay Leno!!!

Anonymous said...

Michael here,

Funny is funny. If you haven't noticed, she writes about herself too, and is pretty honest, I'll bet.

I'm interested in all the things she writes about.

If it's not your cup o' tea, then you have a decision or two to make.

Me I'll keep reading.

Still great stuff!!!