GloZell is not a Stalker…

In the news, this morning I heard that Sandra Bullock has a crazy woman stalker who tried to run over Jesse James with her car. They both were just on the show not too long ago. That crazy lady could have been in the studio. She has to be crazy to try to run over Jesse James who makes monster trucks that can run her over.

I feel security is much better this week than ever before. But I just want to break it down just incase you don’t understand.

To all the high and mighty White and Jewish people. If you look down on Mexican people so much, why do you hire them to be security? That is stupid!

If you think Black and Mexican, people are so dumb, how stupid are you to use them to protect your life?

Is there an evacuation route in the studio if something happens? This is not for the dark people, It’s for you, White and Jewish people. Because ALL dark people know how to EVACUATE!

We are born with it. There never is an evacuation drill at King Drew Hospital. At Mt. Sinai, you better practice one. When something happens there, not one black or Latino person is in the building, not even a Black or Latino baby. Trust and believe.

I am looking out for you Jay!

If you get on a plane, White and Jewish people and there is not a Black or a Latino person…GET OFF! You are not safe. If you get on and the whole plane is filled with, Muslims chanting go Allah! And there is one Black or Latino person; you can sleep the whole trip. That plane is not going down. I don’t care how old or handicap that person is.

How retarded is it to know how to exit a plane? Who is going to take their chances by jumping out of a plane 25 thousand feet up in the air with a seat cushion? But they go over it every time you enter a plane. Not once have I ever seen anyone go over an evacuation route at the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Is there one? Whites and Jews I hope your are reading this because we the Darks wont be there.

You don’t believe me? When you take a black person out, (we will say yes because you are paying) they will always face the door. If not, trust and believe while you are looking at the architecture or the menu, we have already spotted all of the Exit signs.

Guess What? We really don’t like you in general. We will laugh at your corny jokes and put up with you at work but that’s about it. If you stop paying, we won’t hang. Don’t ask if that’s true because we will deny it every time. As soon as we get home it’s " Do you know what that cracker had the nerve to say? Every one is prejudice when they get home!

If something happened in the studio, you will see how close of friends we are. I can picture Jerry the keyboard player saying "Hey, Kevin did you hear…where did he go? Hey, Vicky I think I smell smoke…where did she go? What's up Doc? My man Smitty, I think something’s wrong, I…Hey! We will knock you over to get out because you are just standing there trying to figure out what’s going on. Run first, ask later.

Dark people don’t need a plan because we will bust through a wall like the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull. (White people are laughing but the dark people are nodding and saying "That’s true sister")

Why is the head of security also in charge of telling the ladies with the big boobs how to line up to dance on the stage before the show? How stupid is that? Can somebody please think?

You need to be nice to the security guards and maybe one might look out for you. I bet that old Asian security guard, Jet Li Sr. or whatever his name is can take a broom and beat the daylight out of someone.

I was there when that girl jumped on the stage last year. It took a long time for anyone to respond? (Check the tape) That actor had to grab her, take her off stage, and scream cut the cameras, before anyone helped him. That is Unacceptable! Look at the tape! I was out of my seat before she got to the stage.

Jay played it cool but I bet Jeff couldn’t clean Jay’s suit that day. Jay do you have pepper spray or anything at that desk? Don’t live in fear, just be prepared.

To the one Persian/Armenian looking guy who works at the studio. Your name sounds like something a cat threw up, Iaaackkk. We all know that you and that girl that dresses nice all the time with the pointed black boots are involved. ( Those boots are great for getting roaches in a corner) Girl, you can do so much better than him! He’s a player and he is not all that.

Ms. Debbie. (Producer/cue card writer) Who were you being cute for today? Your toes were out (red pedicure, nice), Cute black leather jacket, tight white T-shirt (I never knew you had hooters). You have a hot little body under all those clothes. Rock it honey!

Guests:
Ross The Intern, who is love. Ross has lost weight with the "Show Celebrity Fit Club"on VH1. He looked good before. Now Ross is healthier.

Conan O’Brien told a story about how he was over Jay’s house and Jay went to sleep. That is exactly what I’m going to do IF he takes over the Tonight Show! Go to Sleep.

Venus Ramey who was Miss America 1944. Some old lady. I’m surprised she didn’t bake a pie.

Kings of Leon was the musical guest. They had so many fans. K. of L. all are so skinny and had on tight black pants. They were good! The lead singer is hot!

Remember, nobody cares about you more than you…

LoVe Ya,

GloZell