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Friday, October 10, 2008

If I was Obama's Mamma

On the phone

PK --- So mean woman what are you going to do the rest of the day?

G--- I am going to Mr. Wisdom's ... get a wheat grass shot and some Kegan water... he has Vegan food

PK---- I'm not picky about food..

G--- That's cool so ... I'm going now

PK--- I'm hungry

G--- Go get your self something

PK--- Oh um... where is that Wisdom place?

G--- (He wants to go with me?... oh he WANTS to go with ME)

G--- Okay come over you have been dying to come to the hood....

we end up going to a Soul Food place... I figure he will get or see what he wanted.... BLACKLAND
I school him on what is WHITE to do which is wrong to do...

Don't say anything bad about OBAMA...

you will get offered T-shirts , DVD from movies that are not out yet, clothes , shoes, cologne, incense etc. don't act surprised...

some will be advertising " Momma I got a man"play... always with the word Momma...

don't get into any long conversations...

Don't try any slang for you will be out of date anyways....

don't wear a red shirt... got it...

do not get us shot...

PK --- Where is the jungle?

G--- We are not going to the Jungle

( White people the Jungle is where ... and it's pretty famous in the hood... um lots of shootings go on ... Police don't go down there... it's one way in and one way out... a dead end)

PK --- I just want to drive by...

G--- You will be a part of a drive by... and I am telling you ... I'm not going!

Why can't you swim with sharks and climb mountains like the other white people?

PK---- Very funny

(as soon as I like get like my leg back... I'm like going like back swimming... it wasn't like the sharks like fault ... he like thought I was like food or like something)--------

At the Soul Food place...

PK--- What is soul food?... never had it before

Waitress walks off...

it took PK... about an hour to go through the menu....

PK --- Chitterlings... and chit'lings is the same thing? Never seen it spelled out... cool

Waitress runs to the back... you hear them laughing... but clearly she liked him because I didn't get water... I didn't get a napkin... it was all about White guy in here....

people coming up to the window... looking in

( woman is taking out her glued weave in her car... one crack head)

PK -- He's just like Dave Chapelle

( This guy only knows black people from T.V. and movies... ha ha ha... black folks are fancinating people to white folks... he's so cute)

my food came first... black eye peas and rice ... yams... and green beans ...




PK order Turkey and dressing ( he did ask if it was stove top)... red beans and rice... and BBQ sauce and a order of Ranch...

Waitress and GloZell --- Ranch?

PK--- I always find a reason for Ranch Dressing....

you could see the people in the back of the kitchen... looking at him... they were very very nice...

We asked the waitress exactly where was the Jungle...

Waitress --- Da Jungle? Ooooh Go Skrait down dat skreet... turn left... don't go... ( walking off )... Don't Go...

(food comes)

PK--- Try those sweet potato yammies thing with Ranch?


PK ate that food like he has never ever had food before... well white people... you lost one... once you Glo Black... it's a done deal... he has crossed over.. Ha ha ha! Viva La Negro!


Brother walks in and stands at our table.... (Oh snap ... here we go)

I have Obama wear....

PK--- Any McCain stuff?

GloZell--- (WHY? WHY WHITE MAN WHY?)

Brother --- Why?

PK --- Isn't Obama Muslim?

GloZell --- ( AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! )


Brother -- He knows a lot of different people and everyone wants to claim him... Farrakhan lives down the street from Obama... Obama talks to all people... but as far as I know OBama is Christian.


GloZell --- There is nothing wrong being Muslim... ( I think Brother was Muslim... from the Nation... he had on a beanie on his head... wasn't sure)

Brother --- I know a lot but I don't claim any one religion

GloZell--- (Didn't I go over this... no?... Why is PK trying hard to get us hurt?... )

PK ended up having this long conversation with Brother about politics... Brother was well spoken...

GloZell--- You handle yourself well... good job my brother...

Brother --- I am the direct descendant of the 17 President... there is a book coming out and I'm in it... I have been traced to him...( Descendant on the right)

PK --- I'm French and Indian
Brother and Lucky --- Indian... us too...

we ended up talking outside... I couldn't believe it... the waitress would come out and talk also... very very nice...

While outside I notice the sign for the play " If I was Obama's Momma"

(They were happy that a white guy came... like show and tell ... everyone was very very nice to him... awwww PK was a token... PK loved it you couldn't tell him he wasn't down with the people)

Turns out... none of us were registered to vote...

GloZell--- I am voting for Obama... I am voting for someone else... so there is time for all of us... it's important... vote for someone else... like Canadians


( Everyone sing... Oh Canada ... the ones who take our jobs then can't vote.. second verse same as the first..)

we left... drove close to the Jungle... pass Magic Johnson's Theater... he was happy...

went to Mr. Wisdom's place...

I got a wheat grass shot and PK got Tea
( Mr. Wisdom)

insisted that he sees my place...
Burned up at my place

PK --- GloZell if you don't turn off that dam camera...

G- So Cracker man... you enjoyed the hood today...

PK--- We are both from Florida... you are a cracker also... Florida cracker...
(both) ha ha ha ha

He is soooooo cute... he asked me to think about getting a Chasity ring and be married to Jesus he will help me pick a ring out...

(Zell to the NO!)...


well... I haven't shagged Russell Brand yet... so maybe after that... he he he

Remember... Vote... and don't take life to seriously... laugh

14 comments:

Shorts Girl! said...

Glozie,
You've been doing so great with sticking to your hiking and vegan ways, that it's paying off! You look great! Show us a Before and After picture! We want to see the "After-Glo"

Keep up the great work!
I hate that commercial for Prop 2. I don't think it's appropriate for them to be showing it at all hours of the day when kids can watch it. They don't need to be watching that kind of animal abuse. I'd like to take that bastard driving the forklift, tie his arms up, stip him bare and whip the crap out of him with a whip! Se how he likes that!

I don't like voilence, but some people need to be taught a lesson!

I'm glad I have never purchased eggs from Trader Joe's. They were purchasing eggs from a farm where the chickens are so confined together, their little wings don't have room to stretch! Those chickens are all stressed out! Not good!

There is a doggy that lives a few properties away...this morning she was hanging with some chickens. So cute!!! I couldn't believe they were just hanging out! Those are the kind of chickens I like..."Free Range" Happy chickens!

GloZell said...

Shorts Girl...
It's clear that you want to see the Award winning hit play " If I was obama's Momma" don't try to hide it...

I look good... great It all for a Virgin... I will make it as hard as possible... (wink wink hee hee hee)...

didn't think about the kids... oMG it's own right now... it's rough... they don't want you to forget Prop 2

Awww Chicken Dog... How is the cat that you found in your garden... Salem? ( sorry if I got the name wrong but if I didn't aren't you impressed)

the after Glo thought she looked okay... I saw some old pictures... OMG... a Hot Mess! ..

Take Care...
GloZell

Anonymous said...

GloZell, I am on my laptop which doesn't let me cut and paste links,but there is a very funny article about a 105 year woman on aol.com When asked what her secret was she replied, "No sex." So maybe it's a good thing!!!!!

You should check out the article!

xoxo
Leslie

GloZell said...

Leslie...

Only the good die young...
or the ones who have good times...
I could live to be 105 but how happy could I be... well...
I better get happy...

Thanks Leslie... I would like to see that article... I wonder if she just chilled with a guy who she was attracted to... how long does those women live... hee hee hee

GloZell

Fightin' Mad Mary said...

I was just getting ready to send you this article about the 105 year old virgin, but I see that leslie beat me to it!

check her out here -
http://www.dlisted.com/node/28690

ps. I wanna be a token and go to M&M sometime!

Shorts Girl! said...

LOL...
You should actually do your own video of "If I was Obama's Mama" that would be hella funny!

Awe you remembered my baby's name.. yup you got it right! It's Salem. He's great! He had a problem with one of his ears, but I fixed him right up with some apple cider vinegar and water. No visit to the vet needed.

Hey I think you only live about a half hour away from me.

Jasmine said...

Glozell! Greetings from London... I stumbled across your blog and YouTube a few weeks ago when I was looking up Russell Brand's MTV awards thing... you are hilarious and it sucks that they kicked you out of Jay's studio! No one can take a joke... they could have given you a warning or something rather than ban you right away... ah well, his run is almost over.

Keep up the good work on the blog and YouTube.

I read Russell's autobiography when I was on the beach last month... you should read it, it's very funny... he has led quite a depraved life so brace yourself, kind of the complete opposite of your new friend... it opens when he's in a sex addiction clinic :)

Jasmine

GloZell said...

Fight'n Mad Mary!

Yes I will be doing WPTTTH...
(White People Tour to the Hood) ... it's great we will visit all the places on the movie FRIDAY eat luch/shop... the best of both worlds...

tell me when...
Clearly Virgin will live to be 105 he will be by himself.... hee hee
GloZell

GloZell said...

Shorts Girl...
you are a Ghetto Vet! If I was Obama's Momma...

we should go see it...
take care
GloZell

GloZell said...

Jasmine!

I do love The Russell... I heard he was a freak... interesting... thanks for bloging on and I hope you contiinue... tell the Queen...

NBC is not down with freedom of speach... hard to belive but true...

Cheerio ( wow did I impress you or what... I know English)

GloZell

InALittleMinute said...

Loved it! Thanks for the laugh.

GloZell said...

inalittleminute...
thank you... stay happy!
GloZell

Shorts Girl said...

"If I was Obama's Mamma....."
I'd have plenty of ear to tug on if he misbehaves! lol!

When is it? and WHERE????

GloZell said...

Shorts Girl...
I am on it... haven't been feeling funny but I is a back!

I will have it up... let's see okay by tomorrow... It is a must!

Thanks
GloZell