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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Glo's Momma is a coming back!








Dear Jeff Zucker(President of NBC)
Just wanted you to know
I don't want to be one of those kids at Disneyland
That had a great time and then cry and get upset when it's time to go...
So.. Thank you for all the good times at NBC... I had a great ride..
Thanks...
GloZell ( Tonight Show with Jay Leno Fan!)

John Melendez... I will tell the first 70 people not to yell out during the show( then I go in so I can't get to everyone)... yesterday 1st 30 people got our announcements as we were walking through the metal detector... ( no one was listening then)... I will go over the rules again with the first 30 in the lobby...
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(My mom and sister just tolerate each other)Phone Call last night...
Mom----- Where have you been GloZell.. I haven't talked to you in four days..
GloZell----- Oh I just been at the Tonight Show... and I been up at the mountain with Fightn' mad Mary ( I just said Mary)

Mom and I sing "Rough Side of the Mountain" by James Cleavland... ( church song)
Don't you sing gospel songs long distance?

Mom-- I just don't know about your sister...
GloZell--- What did she do now?

Mom--- I asked her to bring me a glass of water...
GloZell-- Why?... You know she doesn't want to... you have arms and legs that work... so just get it your self...

Mom-- She brought me a glass of water...
GloZell--- That's great...
Mom-- The water was dish washing water from the sink...

GloZell--- DeOnzell brought you ... water from... inside the sink?
Mom--- It was all cloudy... Someone needs to talk to that child....I pay all the bills... she pays no rent... and I get a nasty glass of water...
GloZell ( I bet you got your own water ).... okay I will call her...

I called my sister who is in the same State... in the same city... in the same house...as my mother

GloZell ---- De
DeOnzell--- WHAT!
GloZell--- How are you?
De--- What do you want??
GloZell-- You know how mom is... just check the glass when you give her a glass of water... (Click)..De... hello... DeOnzell Green...hello( She hung up on me)

GloZell--- Mom (Fingers crossed Lord forgive me) She just picked up a glass and didn't check it.. so it was probably something in the glass...

Mom--- I just don't know about her... Has Jay said anything to you?
GloZell--- ( yes Jay Leno offered me 50 million dollar contract and I forgot to tell you)... No Jay has only this year and then he is gone... so... the strike happened ...so..

Mom--- Well I need to get away..
GloZell--- That's great.... hang out with your friends...go swimming...
Mom--- During Spring Break... I will come to California and talk to Jay Leno again...
GloZell--- Oh no you won't

Mom-- Oh yes I will
GloZell--- Oh no you won't

Mom--- Oh yes I will and I'm going to recite one of your poems for him... Jay will like that... and bring him some Crystal Light.. White people's Kool Aid..

GloZell---Let's talk about this... another time...
Mom--- I'll get Uncle George to get me a ticket... oh this is great...
GloZell-- Bye mom..
.---------------------------------------------------------------------
TODAY AT THE SHOW:
I can no longer sit next to... the one formerly known as "Wolfman"... There is just so much earwax I can watch someone eat... he puts his key in his ear then scrapes it with his teeth...
I was about to go O.J. on him... so... I will just sit far away...

Jay... I just love how my life tragedies is weaved into your monologue... That's a true comedian...
teen pregnancies... ministers with teens in cars... yesterday ultra sound machines... feel free to joke about black men with no legs... a hoot I say... I will roast you one day Mr. Boo... can't wait...
----------------
Dennis Quaid... Nice looking... looked uncomfortable on the couch... Sit up straight Dennis... During the break... Jay pretended to be interested in Dennis's children pictures... ha!
I think Dennis Quaid is the one who use to be a Manorexic... Skinny man...

Second guest was from the movie Semi-Pro.... some bald guy who couldn't tell a story for nothing... had twins also ... yada yada... NEXT!

Musical Guest... Lupe Fiasco... Lupe?... Is he Spanish?... by way of...Crenshaw? The only thing Spanish was the girls in his entourage.... They had a nice groove...

The best part of Lupe Fiasco was watching Dennis Quaid... try to dance... he is Danceorexic... ha ha... ( Dennis was bad... extra white guy bad) There was a new guy taking pictures for the show ... Where is Grinch Eyebrows?... He better be back soon!( I am sick of all these changes without consulting me!)
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My Favorite writer of all even more than Steven King.... Joe M. (Head writer of The Tonight Show with my Boo was outside looking for audience members for a bit...

They pick one kid (who was 14) so the mom said no... but the boy ended up break dancing on the stage during the warm up... he was good.

Does Hot Scott ( the one who lost 40 pounds using wonder gum) and the other guy (who looks like Ellen DeGeneres) Do they still work at NBC?... or were they kicked to the curb in the special way NBC way...




Tomorrow... it's going to be wild day with Billy Ray Cyrus and his meal ticket Miley Ray (Hannah Montana)...
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GLOZELL GHETTO GOSSIP...

PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) ha ha ...

PETA is mad a Sharon Stone... they called her a rat...just because she wore a rat's foot... maybe she supports Ratatouille winning an Oscar... It's not like Sharon is going to win one...

PETA... Sharon Stone isn't a rat!... didn't you see "Basic Instinct"... Sharon Stone showed all of us that she is definitely a proud Pussy Cat...
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GLOZELL'S GHETTO BLACK HISTORY...
What are we black people?...

I have met so many White People from Africa ... They are African American...

Black people don't want to be African ...

Ask a black person if they are African... They will say no..

But what are we?... White people don't know what to say...

I hear jokes that Jay say " Black" and I wonder if anyone send in emails... (probably not... Black people don't really watch the Tonight Show... but I make up for the Darkie's... they don't like that also... )

We are African Americans?
With Black History Month..
N A A C P ( C P = Colored People)

Aren't we... Black Americans?

Who knows?

9 comments:

Paria said...

Heeeyyyy Glo!! Yea this is Paria from church!!!
I stop by once or twice a day- I can say that I am one of your biggest fans!!! I love ya girl! You better be at VBS next summer- cause I'm moving back to LA and I won't take the job unless you are my co-teacher (unless someone hires you and gives you a rightly deserved chance to SHINE!!!) I MISS YOU!!! Keep inspiring us all with your beautiful smile and beautiful words. Peace to you my sister!!!!

Observer said...

You are in rare form - that's what I want to see!!!!

You are on a hot streak - keep up the great writing.

If JL doesn't read you, he's missing out big time.

You still haven't emailed me. I have ideas for you.....

Dan Wereszynski said...

Hey Glo,

Did you see this article?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/27/arts/television/27leno.html?ei=5065&en=3133cc25a21cfb94&ex=1204779600&partner=MYWAY&pagewanted=print

I know, I know it's a long link but copy and paste it into your browser and read. FOX, ABC, and Leno......hmmmmmmm.

-Later,
Dan

Melinda said...

Hey Glo!

I am thrilled to hear your mother is coming!! Good stuff! That is terrible about your sister giving her some nasty water. Wow. Treat your mama kind and your days will be long.

Having computer probs, dear? Where's my Wednesday fix? :)

GloZell said...

Paria!
Oh my Goodness... I hope they hire me back... I won't have anyone holding my spot...

If I don't get in to the Tonight Show then I don't... It's just the show that keeps me from jumping off the Hollywood Sign...

I can't wait to see you... are you still with your black guy... ( thanks for dating one... one down... millions to go!) He is cool... Is his still fighting over seas?

I can't wait! I am so glad that you are moving back!!!!


Do you still work for that rich lady?

Thanks for being a fan.. I didnt know what people would think... especially church folks...

Truly appreciate your comment..
Yes... in the event... I haven't moved to Florida in order to walk back and forth between two rooms to deliver messages to my mom and sister... ( they are going to drive me nuts!)

I am clear across the map and still have to deliver messages to them IN THE SAME HOUSE!...

Oh well You have to come to the TONIGHT SHOW... Jay is leaving so my sanity will be going soon...

YOU just have to... your whole family... ( They hardly ever have Muslims at the show...)

I have never met your folks because of the whole Allah and Jesus thing...

take care... Can't wait to see ya ... That means you are done with Collage!... Yeah!

Take care..

Peace!

GloZell said...

Observer...
Do you think I make this stuff up...

Child... my mother is convinced that white people love Crystal Light... I would Pray... PLEASE PUT SOME BLACK PEOPLE IN THE CRYSTAL LIGHT COMMERCIALS...

Did you see the house... how did I not know I was crazy... I had no choice...

If my mother comes for Spring Break... be prepared... the last time.. she jumped on the stage and told Jay to hire me... finnaly he said he would look into it...

He was presured by a black lady in a church hat...

He won't be so lucky the next time...

I guess I will talk about my family more...

I have nothing... nothing... to loose...

GloZell said...

Oh sorry Observer...

Thanks so much and I will email you... thanks

GloZell

GloZell said...

Dan...

Where the H E double hocky sticks have you been!

HuH? I need answeres young man... are you going to make it to the show before Jay Leave...

Before... happiness leaves my LIFE!


Okay... Jay at Fox... yeah.. Earwax eating wolfman can't follow me there... he is driving me I don't even know where...

Thanks for the info...

GloZell

GloZell said...

MELINDA...
I SEE NOW THAT YOU THRIVE OFF MY RIDICULAS FAMILY...

DAD THROWING LEGS... MOM ONLY TALKING ABOUT ME... SISTER SINGS OPRA AND GIVING DIRTY DISH WATER TO MOM...

MY MOM... IN CALIFORNIA... AGAIN...
I AM GOING TO GET KICKED OUT OF THE TONIGHT SHOW...

MY MOM... BECOMES THIS MORE CRAZY WOMAN WHEN IT COMES TO ME...

SHE IS GOING TO GIVE... THE KING OF LATE NIGHT... CRYSTAL LIGHT..

WHAT PIECE OF SINSE DOES THAT MAKE... OKAY..

WHEN IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO TO THE PADDED ROOM... I'M MOVING IN WITH YOU...

YEP... THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO!


GO DRINK YOUR NIQUIL..

TAKE CARE

GLOZELL