GloZell Has the Best of Both Worlds...

I got in line at 6 am not knowing how the line was going to look today because of Hannah Montana... It was 6 of us in line until 7:35 am... I met Dotty (Visiting her family in Glendale) from the Philippines... I thought her name was going to be Payching ling ling or something... but it was Dotty...(Great meeting you) One lady's behind was engulfing her folding chair... with that Badonky Donk... she can get any black man she wants... (Great more white guys for me!) The biggest Miely(Hannah Montana) fans was Chantel and Jacky... they skipped school, have Miley Cyrus credit cards.. and they were last here for the Jonas Brothers... Chantel and Jacky sang Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana songs all daywhile touching hands... So I joined them Joshua who has been coming to the show everyday and changing his profession... first day EMT... Fireman... Liar!... he was hitting on all the girls... first step Joshua Brush your teeth... Dotty and her Aunt was great to sit next to... and she got a picture with Jay Leno to take back... Safe travels Dotty... Debbie Tombow...Who is in love... LOVE with Billy Ray Cyrus... had some great pictures with him and Miely Cyrus...(Destiny Hope Cyrus)Each Picture had a story...
I tried to get away but she followed me with Billy Ray Cyrus stories... (Some fans!) Debbie's father met Billy Ray Cyrus and told him... " I feel like you are my son in law"... Debbie almost died...

Debbie and her friend Dolly... Hurry back! -----------------------------
TONIGHT SHOW BIZ...

Why did some guy pay 20 dollars not to sit next to the guy formerly known as Wolfman?
I have sat next to him for over a year... taking one for the team... never was offered money...

I move and someone else made money...( I hope he farts, cough and eat his earwax even more now that I can't have my seat)...

No mater what time I get their ex Wolfman is like " You see that leaf... I turned it over to hold my spot... something stupid like that... I am done! Can't do it... He can be first in line I don't care!

I already have to listen to his songs... that 's what probably builds up all the wax in his ears (he eats it)... his body is trying to protect itself...

I finally caught something from John Melendez...

Ex-Wolfman is about to knock everyone down to catch something...( you know he cut his hair and wants to be you John M.... Ha Ha... and you thought Jay had a crazy fan... I feel sorry for you... )

One of the best moments of the monologue was Kevin Eubank's MLK hat...
Someone asked Kevin... What does MLK have to do with Black History Month?... MLK... Martin Luther King...

Kevin said... " Black Men don't drink milk... right... they are funny about mayonnaise also... (they are afraid it will make them gay... )

Billy Ray Cirus and Miely Cirus... were great... she teased him a lot during the interview... but was plucking fly a way hairs from his head during the breaks... ( add some moisterizer to his split ends) Billy Ray said that his father died two years ago today... then Jay said his father died 15 years ago... awww

I thought Jay was going to say " My dad died 15 years ago and had a fake black leg"

(Thanks for bring the show to a all time high.. guys)

Billy Ray's father was a minister...

Billy Ray has a son the same age as Miely... from a different woman than Miely's mother...
Yep... Billy Ray is the son of a preacher man...

Brooke Shields looked great!... for a woman who on Oprah said that she envisioned slamming on the breaks so that she can go through the windshield while driving with her child ...( Stay on the medication Brooke.. don''t listen to Tom Cruise!) Brooke talked about when she " Accidentaly ran into the house"... um hmm.. didn't take the meds that day huh Brooky...

Brooke's legs ... never ending... But..

Brooke has Hammer Time in her shoe!.. How can someone that pretty have Hammer Time all up in her shoe?...

Brooke is getting her bunions fixed... look for her on the show "Lipstick Jungle" on NBC... Billy Ray and Miely did a great job singing... It was a sweet song... very nice...

One day they will look back on moments like this and just be thankful... I don't like Billy Ray Cyrus straight straw hair... but Billy Ray is still cute and his jeans wasn't tight like other Cuntry singers such as Garth Brookes and Dwight Choke Ums.... They would cut off the blood supply to his Achy Breaky Part.
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GLOZELL'S GHETTO BLACK HISTORY....

The Tonight Show for Black History month... hired...
A NEGRO! Congratulations Black Man!
He... I mean Ne... was working with Lance the sound and mic guy... Ne is a older guy..

Who is happy to be working... ( we work better when weez happy) He was patting everyone on the back... smiling... giving high fives..

That's right brother... whistle while you work... or at NBC
Whistle while you have a Job! ( Okay)

Just give your all ... never miss a day... never be late... for 15 years!
Then they will kick you to the curb like a dog!
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GLOZELL'S GHETTO UPBRINGING

When my father lost both his legs he would sleep in the Safari room...
The couch was higher than the bed and it was easier to put on his legs...

My dad had these... containers with a top on it to go to the bathroom in just in case he couldn't get his legs on in time... or if he just didn't feel like going through the trouble late at night...

My mother is known for moving and cleaning everything but what needs to be moved or cleaned...

My dad told her "What the H. is wrong with you?.. Don't move my 'D" containers"...

My mother didn't like sitting next to the containers or eat next to them ... and didn't like how they looked...

So she would move them with the intention to move them back at night...
Sometimes she would forget... and get cussed out...

On night... I heard.. Dad mumbling... and a Ssssssssssssssp ssssssssssssssssssssp sound...

Dad--- "This whole house is a mess... sssssssssssssssssssp

These people are morons... Everybody's a fool but me! sssssssssssssp ssssssssssssssp

She got to move my Got D stuff... ssssssssssssssssp

yeah.. got to move my Got D stuff...
sppppppppppppp p p p

Why my Got D. Sh## !

GloZell--- What's wrong?...

I turned on the light... Oh my Gawd!
My mouth drop...
I couldn't believe what I was looking at...

Dad Had peed all over the TV... the table... the rug... the African trinkets...
Everything...

I was in shock...

1. Didn't ever want to see my dad's gonads...
2. Never thought I would have to clean #1 off a TV... a TV! ( Good aim dad it wasn't that close)
3. What is wrong with these people?

4. I never saw Michael Landon pee on his furniture on " Little House on the Prairie"
5. Did the Jonie and Richie Cunningham see their dad's Gonads on "Happy Day's"
6. I missed the piss in the Safari room episode on GOOD TIMES! Jefferson's, What's Happening?...

My mother... God Bless her...

Mom--- This room stinks...
She got herself a rag and try to spot clean the 1970 red and orange shag carpet the next day...

GloZell--- Mom... you need to rent a steam cleaner.... clean the carpet... then get new floors...

Who am I suppose to talk to about this?... Go to school and ask?... Hey does your parents get mad and urinate on the walls and stuff/... I don't think so...

This is just one... of the hundred GloZell childhood horror stories...
Do you see why I can't drink or do drugs...
Maybe I got that wrong...