Do You Think I'm Funny and Entertaining? Please Donate. Thank You!

Friday, February 29, 2008

Just bitter and confused...

Jeff Zucker.. I go back and forth about this Conan thing...
I know you have to do what you feel is right
but I don't have to like that... I respect your stupid decision..
At least you know how I feel and I'm not lying to your face..
like your advisers must be... It seems like since NBC shows like The Bionic woman, Journeyman
are not on the air... that you didn't have to fire anyone
from the Tonight Show... That show has been faithful to the network...
I don't know how business is done... but...
you could have looked out after the Tonight Show...
oh well I'm off to buy a spell that will turn you into a frog...

no hard feelings... rebit...

If anyone can tell me where to go to understand what did the strike really accomplish...
I can't blame Jeff Zucker if.. he is doing what anyone else would do... I'm coming from a fan's aspect... what are the facts....

---------
OBSERVER I DIDN'T SEE YOUR EMAIL... PLEASE RESEND...
I thought I sent you a message then I was waiting for your respond... but I will email tonight...
----------------------------

Queen O stopped by but didn't go to the show... Queen O. says that she can teach anyone to have 300 orgasms everyday like she does... Maurice counted the line for hours... and he is working on a new movie...
-----------------

Tonight Show Biz...

Kevin has been hitting home runs with his sideline comments... very funny this week... he help save the monologue...

Today it was something about Johnson...
My boyfriend is named Richard Johnson...
I asked him " Did your parents realise they named you... Dick Dick?

Jay Walking was a little racy... I think Jay is a closet freak and when he goes to Fox ( or whatever network) we are going to see a different side of Jay Jay...

Guest:

Dave Salmoni ( Who is good looking) was on the show with wild cats... One lion... nipped Jay's ear...(That's better than what happen to that guy duo in Vegas) JEFF B.( THE WARDOBE GUY) WAS LATE TO HELP JAY WITH HIS TIE AND JACKET... I THOUGHT YOU WERE FIRED OR SOMETHING... DON'T YOU EVER BE LATE AGIN MISTER!... I almost went to the 3rd floor to shake Jeff Zucker...

Patricia Arquette...(star of the show "Medium") She looked like a squatty bronze pumpkin with a Jaws tooth.. Patricia Arquette has gained weight... I don't think she is a Medium anymore...
Patricia A. said her favorite animal is a Dick Dick... she better not be talking about my man! (It's Dik Dik)

Musical Guest... Punch Brother... No... just plain oh no... Wolfman could join that band... I feel that John Melendez is getting comfortable with the Warm up... so now the show is on a on hiatus for a week he is going to forget everything... Great! Jimmy/James... has moved up to Cameraman #3... Jimmy and his sidekick Lil' Eddy always leave before the show... like clockwork... I think they might be going to a brothel or something..FREAKS!

Thanks Carson and Stanly for coming to the show... keep in touch....------------------------------------

GLOZELL'S GHETTO BLACK HISTORY ... FOR THE LAST TIME...

I Was walking and I slipped and hurt my knee...
I have to go all the way to Africa to get help for my knee...
because..
That's where the
NeGro's...

ha ha
get it...Knee Grows...

I am hilarilous...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Glo's got the Mavis Touch!

WANDA SYKES IS THE FUNNIEST PERSON EVER ON THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO.... this is a must watch show... Jay's monologue on a scale from 1 to 10.... 51/2....

some guy from Malcolm in the Middle... (The father)

Musical guest " Cat Power.".. different and good in her class of music... Christina N. invited to go to the Gene Autry Museum will finish blog tonight or in the morning... Thanks...
--------------------
I went to the Gene Autry Museum... nice... great food... White people know about everything... I watched Mexican dancers... I had a great time...
TONIGHT SHOW BIZ...

NBC Page Joanna ... nice seeing you... great dark hair color and hair cut....

Every Page.. has someone who... vouches for them... ( in order for them to get the job)

Dear Person who Vouched for Joanna...
Please tell her that her pants a way too tight
and people are talking about her...
Check your people... you help get them a job then don't check on them
they need help...

I don't want to see NBC Page Joanna's... Cat Power... (meow ha ha)
Be sexy on the weekends...(Sorry and Thanks)
--------
Ex Wolfman... hocks and... doesn't spit... over and over... GROSS... I can't take it....
---------------------
Jay if you are being kicked to the curb in a year or so... by NBC,
And you start a new show...
Please don't have the same tired format all the Late Night Shows Have...

Monologue in a suit... interview then..then musical guest... BORING!
You and Wanda was great together.. no late night ...NO LATE NIGHT..
is catering to the Urban audience... it's wide open... LOT O MONEY...

Wanda Sykes was amazingly funny... Vickie R. ( The singer) was slumped over her bongos laughing so hard... If Kevin's guitar wasn't strapped on... he would have dropped it... However... Wanda Sykes... dress was hot mess... The fit was nice... but the print looked like something you see under a microscope... she has great breast ( That Jay comments on a hundred times)

I'm not jealous... Wanda Sykes has chicken legs... she can't wear pantyhose because it pools around her ankles...( nothing to hold on to)

I don't know why but Wanda Sykes is like a lot of black woman... keep the hair natural... then dye it blond color... (there is a black female hairstylist at the Tonight Show... same thing... blond naps)
-----------------------------------------------------

GLOZELL'S GHETTO BLACK HISTORY..

White people... you brought us blacks over here on slave ships...
Now I have a deal... I will forget all about slavery if you take back to africa a few people that Black's don't want...

1. O J SIMPSON.... PLEASE TAKE HIM BACK... HE IS EMBARRASING US.. WE DON'T WANT HIM... 2. BOBBY BROWN... HE IS A HOT MESS AND WE THE BLACK AMERICANS NO LONGER CLAIM HIM... WE DON'T CLAIM CRACK HEADS WHO CAN ONLY USE ONE SIDE OF HIS LIP...( AND HE JACKED UP WHITNEY HUSTON... PUT HIM IN THE BACK! )CRACK KILLS! 3 FLAVOR FLAV AND EVERY HOOCHI WHO HAS BEEN ON HIS REALITY SHOW... 4. I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY THIS ONE... BUT... MICHAEL JACKSON... HAS JUST LET US DOWN...(STILL LOVE YOU MICHAEL...BUT YOU GOT TO GO... PLEASE WHITE PEOPLE YOU OWE US!... ONE MORE DAY LEFT OF BLACK HISTORY...
DO THE RIGHT THING... PLEASE... LET THOSE PEOPLE GO!

LOVE...
NEGROS, COLORDS, BLACKS, AFRICAN AMERICANS, BLACK AMERICANS
---------------------------------------
Oh Bob Perlow stopped by today... it was great seeing him....(The ex warm up guy for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.. who was dumped after the strike was over).... We had a good talk great guy... I told him how everything was going....with John Melendez who is now doing the Warm up... I must come up with a plan... Jay can't leave the Tonight Show... not on my watch.... Zell to the no!
-----------------------
Dear Conan.. No Body Cares... (NBC) about you...
Because you suck...
We are keeping Jay..
Love... Jeffrey...
( ha ha .. Conan fell for it)
--------------------( Looks like the NBC Pimp)

Dear Jeff Zucker...(President of NBC)
I don't know what happened but
Conan doesn't want the Tonight Show anymore
So crawl on your hands and knees and beg Jay to stay...
HURRY! Before Jay goes to another network and
Kick your AZ in late night ratings... (And Jay has a big foot)
--------
Dear Jay Leno... My Boo ( looks so good in this picture) My Silver FOX...
You're welcome...

(Ha ha I think that worked!)
--------------------------------

GloZell--- Listen ( Blackula French man. who wants to pitch a business deal to Jay)..
You are wasting your time... You are African!... Jay doesn't help Africans...but
His wife does... So since I am not as purple colored as you... I need you to work with me... more convincing

We are going to Africa.. sprinkle some sugar water on ourselves.. so the flies just love us...
Dance around in the dirt... and maybe I might end up living at Jay's Guest house...
Guess who's coming to dinner Jay... ( I am brilliant)
-------------------------------------------------------

Fine! John Melendez... I did catch a T-Shirt... yesterday.. a blue and red hoodie would be nice! Arron doesn't pick me because he said that I am always on the stage... LIER!
Listen here Yellow Man ( if I'm black when I'm brown... I can call him Yellow) John called me on stage once but didn't get to me... that's okay...

One day the "Anti GloZell band will be lifted"... I shall over come!

As for BTT... It doesn't bother me that BTT only picks blonde's with big ole biddies ...
his pops has Alzheimer's and picking girls is BTT's only outlet...

He might get a chair thrown at him when he gets home... I understand that all too well..
Keep picking them BTT... Proud of ya...
---------------------------------------------

GLOZELL'S GHETTO GOSSIP....

The Tonight Show has black guys coming out the woodwork...
I'm not sure about this one... his name is Michael and he is the Head Engineer...Liar!...
The Tonight Show doesn't have a train!... ( How stupid do people think I am?)
Plus Michael... has... freckles ... FRECKLES!

How many black guys you know with freckles?...( I think I saw one freck move... he paints them on!)
and this is the most non- black thing ever...
Michael rides a bike to work...(that's not the thing)

Michael rode his bike... got hit by a truck... three of his vertebrae are fussed together with titanium... he lives in chronic pain... and he still is riding a bike!... (I don't think so)

(Irv... (The black guy who opened the curtain for Johnny Carson...) moved one set one time got "hurt" and didn't come back for months)

That's white folks Shhh Michael... Riding a bike again... after you got hit... HA!
They jump in the sea get bitten by a shark and go back surfing again with one arm...

So don't try to fool me Tonight Show with your Fake Freckled Metal Back Blacks!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

GloZell Has the Best of Both Worlds...












































I got in line at 6 am not knowing how the line was going to look today because of Hannah Montana... It was 6 of us in line until 7:35 am... I met Dotty (Visiting her family in Glendale) from the Philippines... I thought her name was going to be Payching ling ling or something... but it was Dotty...(Great meeting you) One lady's behind was engulfing her folding chair... with that Badonky Donk... she can get any black man she wants... (Great more white guys for me!) The biggest Miely(Hannah Montana) fans was Chantel and Jacky... they skipped school, have Miley Cyrus credit cards.. and they were last here for the Jonas Brothers... Chantel and Jacky sang Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana songs all daywhile touching hands... So I joined them Joshua who has been coming to the show everyday and changing his profession... first day EMT... Fireman... Liar!... he was hitting on all the girls... first step Joshua Brush your teeth... Dotty and her Aunt was great to sit next to... and she got a picture with Jay Leno to take back... Safe travels Dotty... Debbie Tombow...Who is in love... LOVE with Billy Ray Cyrus... had some great pictures with him and Miely Cyrus...(Destiny Hope Cyrus)Each Picture had a story...
I tried to get away but she followed me with Billy Ray Cyrus stories... (Some fans!) Debbie's father met Billy Ray Cyrus and told him... " I feel like you are my son in law"... Debbie almost died...

Debbie and her friend Dolly... Hurry back! -----------------------------
TONIGHT SHOW BIZ...

Why did some guy pay 20 dollars not to sit next to the guy formerly known as Wolfman?
I have sat next to him for over a year... taking one for the team... never was offered money...

I move and someone else made money...( I hope he farts, cough and eat his earwax even more now that I can't have my seat)...

No mater what time I get their ex Wolfman is like " You see that leaf... I turned it over to hold my spot... something stupid like that... I am done! Can't do it... He can be first in line I don't care!

I already have to listen to his songs... that 's what probably builds up all the wax in his ears (he eats it)... his body is trying to protect itself...

I finally caught something from John Melendez...

Ex-Wolfman is about to knock everyone down to catch something...( you know he cut his hair and wants to be you John M.... Ha Ha... and you thought Jay had a crazy fan... I feel sorry for you... )

One of the best moments of the monologue was Kevin Eubank's MLK hat...
Someone asked Kevin... What does MLK have to do with Black History Month?... MLK... Martin Luther King...

Kevin said... " Black Men don't drink milk... right... they are funny about mayonnaise also... (they are afraid it will make them gay... )

Billy Ray Cirus and Miely Cirus... were great... she teased him a lot during the interview... but was plucking fly a way hairs from his head during the breaks... ( add some moisterizer to his split ends) Billy Ray said that his father died two years ago today... then Jay said his father died 15 years ago... awww

I thought Jay was going to say " My dad died 15 years ago and had a fake black leg"

(Thanks for bring the show to a all time high.. guys)

Billy Ray's father was a minister...

Billy Ray has a son the same age as Miely... from a different woman than Miely's mother...
Yep... Billy Ray is the son of a preacher man...

Brooke Shields looked great!... for a woman who on Oprah said that she envisioned slamming on the breaks so that she can go through the windshield while driving with her child ...( Stay on the medication Brooke.. don''t listen to Tom Cruise!) Brooke talked about when she " Accidentaly ran into the house"... um hmm.. didn't take the meds that day huh Brooky...

Brooke's legs ... never ending... But..

Brooke has Hammer Time in her shoe!.. How can someone that pretty have Hammer Time all up in her shoe?...

Brooke is getting her bunions fixed... look for her on the show "Lipstick Jungle" on NBC... Billy Ray and Miely did a great job singing... It was a sweet song... very nice...

One day they will look back on moments like this and just be thankful... I don't like Billy Ray Cyrus straight straw hair... but Billy Ray is still cute and his jeans wasn't tight like other Cuntry singers such as Garth Brookes and Dwight Choke Ums.... They would cut off the blood supply to his Achy Breaky Part.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GLOZELL'S GHETTO BLACK HISTORY....

The Tonight Show for Black History month... hired...
A NEGRO! Congratulations Black Man!
He... I mean Ne... was working with Lance the sound and mic guy... Ne is a older guy..

Who is happy to be working... ( we work better when weez happy) He was patting everyone on the back... smiling... giving high fives..

That's right brother... whistle while you work... or at NBC
Whistle while you have a Job! ( Okay)

Just give your all ... never miss a day... never be late... for 15 years!
Then they will kick you to the curb like a dog!
------------------------------
GLOZELL'S GHETTO UPBRINGING

When my father lost both his legs he would sleep in the Safari room...
The couch was higher than the bed and it was easier to put on his legs...

My dad had these... containers with a top on it to go to the bathroom in just in case he couldn't get his legs on in time... or if he just didn't feel like going through the trouble late at night...

My mother is known for moving and cleaning everything but what needs to be moved or cleaned...

My dad told her "What the H. is wrong with you?.. Don't move my 'D" containers"...

My mother didn't like sitting next to the containers or eat next to them ... and didn't like how they looked...

So she would move them with the intention to move them back at night...
Sometimes she would forget... and get cussed out...

On night... I heard.. Dad mumbling... and a Ssssssssssssssp ssssssssssssssssssssp sound...

Dad--- "This whole house is a mess... sssssssssssssssssssp

These people are morons... Everybody's a fool but me! sssssssssssssp ssssssssssssssp

She got to move my Got D stuff... ssssssssssssssssp

yeah.. got to move my Got D stuff...
sppppppppppppp p p p

Why my Got D. Sh## !

GloZell--- What's wrong?...

I turned on the light... Oh my Gawd!
My mouth drop...
I couldn't believe what I was looking at...

Dad Had peed all over the TV... the table... the rug... the African trinkets...
Everything...

I was in shock...

1. Didn't ever want to see my dad's gonads...
2. Never thought I would have to clean #1 off a TV... a TV! ( Good aim dad it wasn't that close)
3. What is wrong with these people?

4. I never saw Michael Landon pee on his furniture on " Little House on the Prairie"
5. Did the Jonie and Richie Cunningham see their dad's Gonads on "Happy Day's"
6. I missed the piss in the Safari room episode on GOOD TIMES! Jefferson's, What's Happening?...

My mother... God Bless her...

Mom--- This room stinks...
She got herself a rag and try to spot clean the 1970 red and orange shag carpet the next day...

GloZell--- Mom... you need to rent a steam cleaner.... clean the carpet... then get new floors...

Who am I suppose to talk to about this?... Go to school and ask?... Hey does your parents get mad and urinate on the walls and stuff/... I don't think so...

This is just one... of the hundred GloZell childhood horror stories...
Do you see why I can't drink or do drugs...
Maybe I got that wrong...